La vache Page #5

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You can't be serious?

Enough of this!

Sit down and wait.

No! I want to see your superior!

Right!

- Sit down!

- Let go, you fool!

What? Put him in a cell!

- I know important people!

- Me too!

The Interior Minister is a friend!

You haven't heard the last of this.

Mr Philippe!

You've come to fetch me!

Thank you!

Have you heard

if the letter to Naima worked?

Not a word.

No more Naima, no more Show,

no more Jacqueline,

no more nothing.

You, at least, tried to hold onto her.

Sir! Excuse me, please.

You held onto my pills,

but I need to take one. I'm not well.

It's really important.

- I'll see what I can do.

- Thank you.

You're in depression too?

Who said that?

Everyone's in depression here.

What is it? A craze?

What illness is it exactly?

Where does it hurt?

Nowhere and everywhere at once.

Your problems get on top of you.

Nothing but problems.

So that's depression?

Problems...

In Algeria, we're world champions

in depression!

We have more problems than inhabitants!

We have your papers.

You can go.

Come on.

Yes, you too.

Thank you. Very kind.

Bravo!

Great job.

Who's that?

Hassan, my brother-in-law.

You go missing,

the police call the village...

What a genius!

Everyone chips in

to send you to the Show...

And you screw up!

Dad told me the whole story.

I have better to do than this.

Hello, Dad?

I'm with him. He's out.

No, not with a fat girl.

He's with some weirdo.

I'll put him on.

He wants a word.

Hello?

Ham Hamed?

- Are you Ok?

- Yes.

Dad'?

Sorry, it's me again.

No, I can't go to Paris with him.

There's no one at the phone store.

No, Dad...

F***!

You have to keep messing up my life?

Where's your cow?

Lost at the demonstration.

They're right back home.

You're worse than good for nothing!

I'll be going.

I've heard enough for one day.

- Who's he?

- Philippe, a friend.

You have friends now?

Yes!

A loser like you has friends?

Yes, I have friends.

And they're not you.

Philippe, please!

Don't leave me with him.

I need your help to find Jacqueline.

Please.

It's not easy losing a cow...

We know.

I just transferred

from the parks department.

Did you see the floral roundabout?

Sorry, we couldn't care less.

We've lost a cow.

Fine, but what can I say?

Got her ID?

This guy's Columbo!

I have loads of photos.

This is her.

A Tarentaise.

She's pretty.

You know, my grandma

used to have cows in the Alps.

We don't have time for family memories.

We don't care about Grandma.

- Or Grandpa.

- Or anyone.

I'll go and ask.

Thank you.

Guys like him are useless!

I have a solution.

This.

No! He's a civil servant.

Put that away, this is France.

Philippe, trust me.

It might work.

- This is getting awkward.

- Not at all.

All right...

There's a farm nearby

for animals bound for the abattoir.

They close at 5, so hurry.

About time! Thank you!

Thank you, sir.

All my best to your grandmother.

No damn signal!

Why the hell am I here?

In the sticks with the Duke of Winchester

and Cheb Khaled!

How d'you lose a cow?

How does your mind work?

Your dad was weird too.

I told Dad

not to let Naima marry you.

If you're not happy, you marry her!

Your kids will have your mum's mug!

Bravo, Fatah.

"Your mum's mug."

- Very funny.

- It isn't.

It is.

No, it's not funny.

Philippe! Stop, please!

I saw Jacqueline!

Hurry!

That's my friend's cow.

I'm taking her to the abattoir.

You've become a star

since you were on TV.

You have a Facebook page.

Samir set it up.

Look at the comments.

"Super hick and his cow."

"LOL pears."

Pears...

"Boulayoune rules!"

Yeah, Boulayoune!

Fatah...

Look, Jacqueline.

Big day tomorrow, baby.

Fatah will take good care of you.

You'll be as pretty as a bride.

Right, Fatah?

I'll show Philippe.

You don't give a damn.

Look!

The guys have done a video.

It's going viral.

30,000 hits in two days!

What does Fatah care?

You don't know Facebook,

you live in a damn chateau.

He has to keep going

for his fans.

Look at the state he's in.

No one made him come.

My dad worked wonders

so he could do the trip.

It's a matter of honour

for the whole village.

He doesn't care about honour.

What matters to him is dignity.

Why d'you keep defending him?

Why d'you help him?

No reason.

Because he asked me to.

Yeah, sure.

You're gay for baldies?

That's right, I'm "gay for baldies".

So say it!

- You like the bare look.

- Right.

No harm in it.

I respect frankness.

I'm going to bed.

I've heard enough for one evening.

Good night.

Good night, Fatah.

Hey, Fatah, his secret's out!

He's all over the Web this week.

He's walking his cow across France

to the Agricultural Show.

This week's media darling.

This latest Twitter phenomenon.

Everything he does is observed,

commented on and copied by some.

His name is Fatah Bellabbes

and it's obvious why

everyone's mad about him.

Many French people identify

with Fatah Bellabbes.

They see a simple man living his dream

and everyone would like to do the same.

I love this guy! He's a total blast!

Support him a! the Agricultural Show,

with his cow.

Fatah we love you!

#FatahweLoveYou.

Go, Fatah!

See you same time tomorrow.

A! the Agricultural Show,

support Fatah and Jacqueline

And remember:

It was the pears, not me!

It was the pears!

Fatah! Fatah!

We love you, baby! We're with you!

Hessian!

Hassan, wake up!

He's gone.

Fatah's gone and Jacqueline too.

- They're both gone.

- Who'?

Get up!

I knew it.

You should have said so yesterday.

I could tell he'd leave.

The guy's a weasel.

On competition day too!

300 km from Paris.

Isn't that him? Philippe, quick!

Fatah!

What're you doing? Come with us.

I'm talking to you! Don't screw up!

Paris is the other way!

We can get to the Show in time.

Get in!

You can't stay here.

Get in and we'll talk.

I don't need anyone!

I don't give a damn!

Algeria is watching you.

You're on TV, the Net...

And you're giving LIP!

You only care about yourself!

- Me?

- You're selfish!

I care about everyone but me!

I'm sick of you and everyone else!

I'll do a depression like Philippe!

Jacqueline's a mess!

She looks like a bum!

How can I go to Paris?

Naima is leaving me.

It's all over!

Just let me go!

Naima?

She sent me to the police station!

She called yesterday.

She was happy to hear

we'd found your cow.

I didn't want to tell you.

- She wanted to talk to me?

- Yes.

Are the girls well?

Yes.

You go! my letter?

Yes.

You don't want a divorce?

Good.

You'll write another?

You liked it?

All right, if you want.

Have you go! Cathy's address?

This Cathy...

Show some respect!

I don't believe it!

That Cathy's hot. ls she married?

Come on, Philippe, faster!

I'm doing my best.

It's an old van, not a racecar.

You live in a chateau

and drive an old van?

Yes.

I do what I can.

Philippe, what is your thing?

What are you exactly?

What do you mean?

A count, a viscount, a duke?

A count.

Does a count make a good living?

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