Labyrinth Page #11

LUDO approaches the WILD THINGS and grabs a head before it reaches

its target and calmly tosses it into the trees.

WILD THING 3:
Hey, big fella! That's a little _too_ wild ...

But there's no time to talk because LUDO calmly catches the other

heads and tosses them away. The bodies go scurrying after their

heads, followed by the MUSICIANS. SARAH is free.

SARAH:
Oh, Ludo! I'm so glad you're here!

She gives him a kiss and he beams.

SARAH:
Where's Hoggle?

LUDO:
Hoggle ... in ... bad ... door.

SARAH:
We've got to find him! Do you think we can?

LUDO is very confident. He spent a lot of time with the WISE ONE.

LUDO:
Ludo ... knows ... doors ...

He ambles off with SARAH following.

LUDO:
also ... portal ... or entrance ...

49INT:
HOLE - DAY

HOGGLE is more depressed than ever. The peach is nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly LUDO's head appears above.

LUDO:
Hoggle ... all ... wet.

HOGGLE almost jumps out of his skin and then is totally outraged.

HOGGLE:
Ain't that the clever observation, ya feeble excuse fer a

thinkin' creature!

SARAH appears from behind LUDO.

SARAH:
Be nice, Hoggle. Or we won't get you out.

HOGGLE's face lights up and all thoughts of anger are forgotten.

HOGGLE:
Missy!

50INT:
FOREST - DAY

SARAH, HOGGLE and LUDO march through thick, overgrown forest. They do

not know that they are being spied on by JARETH'S GOBLINS.

51INT:
CLEARING - DAY

The THREESOME emerge into a clearing and see that they have come to a

wide fissure that goes off in either direction as far as the eye can

see. It is spanned by a rickety bridge held by two thick wooden posts

on either side of the gap. SARAH eyes the bridge warily.

SARAH:
It doesn't look too strong but we don't have much choice ...

Suddenly they are interrupted by a high-pitched, but powerful voice.

VOICE (VO):
Halt! Halt or be slain forthwith!

At first they don't see a thing and look around for the source of the

voice. Then, the imposing 18 inch high figure of DIDYMUS, resplendent

in rakish hat and swashbuckling sword, emerges from behind one of the

posts and stands in front of the bridge. LUDO and SARAH are

dumbstruck. HOGGLE, however, is not at a loss for words.

HOGGLE:
Out of our way, ya wretched little rodent ...

DIDYMUS looks directly at HOGGLE.

DIDYMUS:
You, sir, shall be the first to feel the point of my sword!

HOGGLE snorts with derision and SARAH tries a more sensible approach.

SARAH:
Please, we really have to cross this bridge. It's a matter of

life and death!

DIDYMUS shrugs elegantly.

DIDYMUS:
Under any other circumstances I would hasten to oblige you,

fair damsel, for your mission sounds a worthy one.

SARAH:
Oh, it is!

DIDYMUS:
But I am sworn. Without my permission, none may pass.

SARAH throws up her hands and HOGGLE mumbles under his breath. It

appears to be up to LUDO to break the deadlock. He lifts DIDYMUS up

into the air and moves him to one side. They then start to walk

toward the bridge and DIDYMUS chases them, brandishing his sword.

DIDYMUS:
You dishonor me, varlets! En garde!

To his chagrin they ignore him and keep walking.

DIDYMUS:
Rapscallions! Duel ... or _die_!

This gets their attention and they turn to look at him, annoyed.

HOGGLE:
What _is_ this weasel babblin' about?

It is too much for DIDYMUS. He flings himself at HOGGLE with a mighty

war cry. HOGGLE tries to run for it but DIDYMUS is right behind him,

administering more than a few pinpricks in embarrassing places.

HOGGLE dives behind a bush and DIDYMUS sniffs at his cowardice. He

comes back and faces LUDO.

DIDYMUS:
It is you I want, rogue of rogues. You who dealt me the

gravest affront!

And with that he jabs LUDO in the foot! LUDO is stunned, and howling,

begins to hop on his good foot. DIDYMUS, his head thrown back for a

triumphant yell, goes after LUDO with his sword flashing and there is

nothing for LUDO to do but pick up a branch and defend himself. It is

the most mismatched duel in the history of chivalrous absurdity

DIDYMUS moving at an incredible speed, parrying the mighty swipes of

LUDO's branch with great skill -- and no small amount of difficulty.

And LUDO fending off the incessant pinpricks of the little sword,

leaping about with surprising agility -- and at a rate that exhausts

him totally. Finally, the two of them, breathing heavily, lower their

weapons. And, to everyone's surprise, DIDYMUS throws down his sword.

DIDYMUS:
I no longer wish to slay you, for you are a truly noble

knight.

Then DIDYMUS strides up to him and, craning his neck, attempts to

look LUDO in the eyes.

DIDYMUS:
Destroy me if you will.

LUDO quickly drops his branch in response. The whole thing has upset

his gentle nature terribly. DIDYMUS then holds out a tiny paw.

DIDYMUS:
Never have I met my match in battle, yet you, noble knight,

have fought me to a standstill.

LUDO kneels and tentatively takes DIDYMUS' paw into his own huge hand.

DIDYMUS:
Let us be brothers henceforth, and fight for the right as

one!

SARAH cheers and HOGGLE, unimpressed, rubs his sore rear. LUDO

smiles from ear to ear.

LUDO:
Ludo ... get ... brother!

Then he and DIDYMUS exchange the ritual kiss on each cheek, which in

their case is not easily accomplished. SARAH then turns practical.

SARAH:
Well, now that that's settled let's get going.

She heads for the bridge but DIDYMUS blocks her way.

DIDYMUS:
You forget my sacred vow, my lady. I cannot let you pass.

SARAH is incensed.

SARAH:
But you said Ludo was your brother! How can you refuse him?!!

DIDYMUS:
I have taken an oath. I must defend it to the death.

HOGGLE, enraged, turns on LUDO.

HOGGLE:
Some brother he turned out ta be!

LUDO:
Brother ... good!

HOGGLE:
Well, if he's so good, why won't he let us get on with our

business?

LUDO scratches his head. He has no idea. SARAH sits down beside the

crestfallen DIDYMUS.

SARAH:
OK, let's handle this thing logically. What exactly have you

sworn?

DIDYMUS brandishes his sword.

DIDYMUS:
I have sworn with my life-blood, no one shall pass this way

without my permission.

SARAH:
Then may we ... _have your permission_?

DIDYMUS is stunned. HOGGLE and LUDO barely breathe. Slowly DIDYMUS

looks all around and then, with a courage greater than any he has

ever had to call on before, he says it.

DIDYMUS:
Yes.

And the sky doesn't fall, and the earth doesn't heave, and everything

is exactly as it should be.

SARAH:
Thank you.

DIDYMUS breathes a sigh of relief and steps aside to let them pass.

LUDO is the first one to go over and that is unfortunate. Because the

rickety bridge collapses under his weight. SARAH and HOGGLE jump back

on the ground near DIDYMUS just in time and poor LUDO swings over the

deep fissure, hanging on to one of the ropes that held the bridge.

With a mighty effort he hoists himself up on to the opposite side and

looks forlornly over at the others.

SARAH:
Oh no!

SARAH crumples to the ground, and stares miserably at the broken

bridge.

HOGGLE:
Now see what ya done, ya mush-brained mammoth!

DIDYMUS:
I, Sir Didymus, take responsibility for the actions of my

brother, my lady. Lash out at me if you must.

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