Lady Bird Page #2

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have sex on the pullout couch?

Oh yeah.

Why can't I just make the eggs?

Because you take too long and make a big

mess and then I have to

clean the whole thing up.

Eggs aren't good for the

environment, anyway.

- What?

- You heard her.

Eat quickly, PLEASE.

Look at all these pictures. Every

newspaper looks like USA Today.

Shelly and I are trying to be

vegan.

Hence the soy milk.

You wear leather jackets.

But they are Vintage. So they don't

support the industry.

They aren't done, there's white

stuff.

You know how you love Brambles?

Pigs are smarter than him even.

I never thought Brambles

was a genius, okay?

Mom, the eggs are not done!

FINE MAKE YOUR OWN F***ING EGGS.

I WANTED TO.

YOU WON'T LET ME!

- Your sister doesn't like me.

- I'M HUNGRY!

- She does.

- You had your chance, going to bed.

Did you know that Alanis Morisette

wrote this song in only ten minutes?

I believe it.

So...

I'm applying to a couple East

Coast schools.

I need you to help me with the

financial aid application

- But mom can't know.

- We...

Aren't they quite expensive?

First, yes that's why financial

aid

Second, I have to get in first.

Mom won't be happy about it.

Which is why I don't want to fight

about it before I have to.

Just pull over here.

Are you sure,

I can drive you to the front.

This is fine. I like to

walk.

Well, love you.

So what do you think about

college?

I'll see what I can do.

Thanks dad, love you too.

Have a good day at work.

Hey, I'm like Keith Richards...

"I'm just happy to be anywhere."

- Hey b*tch!

- Hey.

Alright girls, hope you like

pickles.

- Thanks, Uncle Matt!

- Sweet!

He is not your uncle.

It's just something I'm trying out.

- Bye mom, I love you.

- Goodbye.

Goodbye I love you.

- Your mom really likes you.

- Yeah.

- I just keep getting fatter.

- Me too.

Matt is awesome.

Yeah, I hope he marries my Mom.

That would be nice.

He promised me

his old car when I turn eighteen.

That car should be illegal. Jenna

Walton's not

doing any off-roading.

She just goes to Pavilions.

I heard Jenna Walton has a

tanning bed in her house.

She is so pretty.

Her skin is luminous.

Maybe we should try tanning.

Yeah.

Yes, in the tub I just

put myself underneath,

it's like now, like this,

and then the water just...

We are so gross!

I think I figured it out when I was

like three or something.

I use, I take the shower head,

Oh my God.

Embarrassing! I use that.

I don't know if mine is the right

kind, though.

Maybe it's different

when you actually have...

a penis in

there, like it's more intense.

Mine is pretty intense, I think.

You're not supposed to eat the

wafers!

They are not consecrated.

Being alive.

- Okay, Christine?

- Lady Bird.

- Is that your given name?

- Yeah.

Why is it in quotes?

Well I gave it to myself. It's

given. To me, by me.

OK, take it away, Lady Bird.

Everybody says don't

Everybody says don't it isn't

right, don't it isn't niiiiiceeee

Everybody says don't

Everyone says don't

walk on the grass...

Make me a channel of your peace

Where there is despair in

life, let me bring hope

Where there is darkness, only light

And where there is

sadness, over joy...

There are giants in the sky!

There are big, tall, terrible

giants in the sky!

When you're way up high and you

look below at the world you've left

and the things you know that more

than a glance is enough

to show you just how small

you are!

I CAN SEE THE LIGHT ON IN YOUR ROOM

GO TO BED!

Congratulations.

You too! We both got in!

Everyone who auditioned got in.

The part I got was

basically not getting in.

I don't even know how I got cast

in my part.

Me neither. I was the one who had a

dress and prepared a song.

I know.

Now you're gonna be all

romantic with Danny on stage.

It's probably my only

shot at that, you know?

- Do you have a pen?

- Yeah.

LADY BIRD:

- Mom...

- We don't need to buy that.

It's only three dollars.

I'm having a hard week.

If you want to read it, we can

go down to the public library.

I want to read it in bed.

That's something that rich people do.

We are not rich people.

Stop!

Stop it! Stop it!

Listen, stop.

- Hey!

- Hi.

Come here often?

Excuse me?

I'm Lady Bird, we're gonna be in

the musical together.

Oh, yes, I remember you!

You were wearing that dress.

I just wanted to say what's up and

I'll see you in rehearsal.

Thanks, I am super excited.

You live in the neighborhood?

Nah, I'm from the wrong side of the

tracks.

What?

- Is that your family?

- Yeah.

Wow!

There are so many of you!

Irish-Catholic!

It's hard to find a girl...

to date that's not my cousin.

Well, okay. You're going to make a

great Franklin.

Oh thanks! I want my hair, his hair

to be curly, though.

Yeah!

Like Jim Morrison. Very '70s.

- Like Jim Morrison, exactly.

- Yeah.

Danny!

I gotta go!

Goodbye.

Who is Jim Morrison again?

He was in a rock band, moron,

The Doors.

I knew that.

This is with your employee

discount?

Yeah, it's already included.

Oh my God! Okay.

- Ma.

- Ma.

- Ma-Na.

- Ma-Na.

- Ma-Na-la.

- Ma-Na-la.

Because it's not important to

be right, it's only important to be...

- do what.

- Exactly.

Purple.

- Two.

- Two.

Two.

Because today is done

See the pretty countryside.

To get our emotions going,

we're going to play

first one to cry wins.

Starting, now.

I'm playing too.

So is Miss Patty.

I'm sorry! I'm sorry.

I heard that before he became a

priest he was married

and he had a son

named Etienne...

who died at 17 of a drug overdose

which maybe was

a suicide but my mom says...

same difference if you are

that careless with your life.

Oh that's her!

Gotta go, bye guys!

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

Oh, I almost forgot. I brought you

these hot rollers.

For your Jim Morrison hair.

- Thank you so much.

- You're welcome.

You'll have to show me

how to use them.

It would be my pleasure.

They look like sperms.

Hey! I just remembered I had a

dream about you!

- Really! What happened?

- Yeah.

We were flying to Disneyland on a

giant carrot.

That's awesome!

I love Disneyland.

Yeah me too, I think it's kind of scary

but I also love it.

So pretty clear on applying the rules

of the exponents. You guys with me?

Don't leave me hanging.

Give me a nod?

That is good. Maybe even

a verbal confirmation?

Yes.

Thank you, that's what I like to hear that.

Alright, so, I am gonna be passing

back the graded quizzes.

I urge you to find the problems

where you went wrong.

And work them out.

Good job, Jules, I could tell from

your work

that you even understood

the one you missed!

SUCK A DICK.

I like "Jules".

I just don't get why I'm not good

at math,

my Dad is really good at math.

Even Miguel has a math degree.

Maybe it's your mom's fault.

You lose! POINT JULIE!

No, look.

- Wish me luck.

- Luck.

Hey!

Wanna dance?

Hell, yeah!

Six inches for the Holy Spirit!

That's us!

Oh no, my Mom is coming.

- No, she's not.

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