Lady Bird Page #3

---

- Yes, she is.

But the plan was sleepover at

my house

No. IT'S FINE.

Okay, bye.

Bye.

- Hey Matt.

- Girl.

Have you ever been

out of the country?

When I was little,

my dad had a job...

that took him to Brazil.

I remember from the pictures.

It's my dream to go,

oh I'm sorry.

No, no, you go.

I've never been out of the country.

It's my dream to go to Paris.

Paris.

That's why I'm taking French.

My mom said French wasn't useful.

It is, if you want to go to Paris.

I still don't know how to use those

rollers that you gave me.

Oh, it's so easy, so it's after they

heat up, you...

You take your hair and

twist the hair like this and...

Larry how long will this hold us.?

I don't know.

Well, somebody's gotta know. Can the

whole family go on Cobra,

even Miguel? What happens if

someone gets in an accident?

Ah the severance package I think

it expires all at once, not

within the calendar year...

Is she home?

Maybe just leave it tonight...

No, she knows better.

- She cannot sneak around like this...

- Marion.

Christine! You can't

leave your room like this!

I didn't.

None of these things were put

away right

They aren't nice,

CHRISTINE! NOW!

- My name is Lady Bird.

- Don't lie to me!

This uniform, this gonna look

like TRASH on Monday!

This isn't right. We can't treat

our clothes like this.

I don't know what your

wealthy friends do...

Why do you care what I do to my

clothes?

Your father does not have a job.

He lost his job.

Do you need him to come in

here and explain that to you?

Of course he probably wouldn't

anyway, he's Mr. Nice Guy.

And I always have to be the Bad Guy.

- Can we please talk about this tomorrow?

- You can't look like a rag

because

that makes us look like rags.

And you want to know the truth?

Here is the truth: some of

your friends' fathers...

could employ your father

and they are not gonna do it...

if it looks

like his family is trash.

You understand?

Didn't you ever go to sleep without

putting all your clothes away perfectly?

Like even once? And don't you wish

your Mom hadn't gotten angry?

My mother was an

abusive alcoholic.

So I understand you're not

interested in any Catholic colleges?

No way. Sorry, but

yes, no way.

Then you'll be applying to UCs and

State schools?

Yeah, but also those East Coast

liberal arts schools.

Like Yale, but not Yale because

I probably couldn't get in.

You definitely couldn't get in.

Part of my job is to help you be

realistic.

Yeah.

That seems like everyone's job.

Your SAT scores are strangely very

good.

I had placed some calls to local

alumni...

of the schools you're

interested in,

but unfortunately

all the interviews are taken.

So... What does that mean?

It means you'll have to get in

on how you look on paper.

All right, stop, stop, stop.

Shouldn't we go home?

My Mom is always mad. It doesn't

matter if I get home late

she'd be mad at me anyway.

Your Mom is hard on you.

Yeah but, she loves me a lot.

Pick a star for us.

That one, right there right next to the

bright one and then the dim one, you see it?

Yeah.

That is our star.

You know you can touch my b*obs,

right?

I know... It's just...

I respect you too much for that.

Oh, cool, awesome. I totally get

that. Thank you.

You're welcome.

If you had b*obs, I would

not touch them either.

I respect you so much because...

I love you.

I love you too.

Let's name our star, Claude.

That's pretentious, don't you think?

It's French.

What should we name it?

Bruce.

- I love you!

- I love you!

Bruce...

It's normal to not touch a penis.

I have to go to class.

But I have free period!

I need to pass history!

I think we're done with the

learning portion of high school.

I'm gonna go.

NO! I HATE BEING ALONE!

Bye, love you.

Did Danny say whether his grandmother

has a formal Thanksgiving?

I don't know, there are a lot of

kids,

but she lives in the

fab forties...

Oh well. Your dad and I went once to a

dinner in that neighborhood.

The CEO of ISC, that was pretty

formal.

You're not going to a funeral.

Well, I don't know!

What says rich

people Thanksgiving?

I think it's such a shame

that you're spending

your last Thanksgiving with a family...

you've never met instead of us,

but I guess you want it that way

Are you tired?

No.

Hey, Marion!

Hello, Joyce! How's the baby?

- He's crawling!

- No!

I want to see a picture at

checkout!

- Okay.

- Okay.

If you're tired we can sit down.

I am not tired!

Oh okay, I just that I couldn't tell

because you're dragging your feet.

Well, I just couldn't tell.

Why didn't you just say

Pick up your feet?

I didn't know if you were tired.

You were being passive aggressive!

- No. I wasn't.

- You're so INFURIATING.

- Please stop yelling.

- I am not yelling.

- Oh it's perfect.

- Don't you love it.

So because my grade book

has disappeared,

here's what we're gonna do...

I am going to count on

you to reconstruct it.

I know you all know your

grades better than anybody.

I have a general idea, but

this is all about...

the honor code right now.

I, A-

I'm pretty sure it was an A.

Um, I'm not but okay.

It was. Trust me, I know

talent when I see it.

You're welcome.

No, thank you.

Hey, I think B.

I thought it was more like B-maybe

even C+ territory.

No, because I did really well on

the last quiz...

I seem to remember you doing only

slightly better.

It brought my average up to a B.

Okay, B it is.

It's your honor.

LADY BIRD! YOUR LOVER AWAITS!

Hello, Danny! The famous Danny!

Aren't you adorable!

- Larry, is not he adorable?

- He's adorable.

And you're driving her and

everything, Wow!

Yeah, well.

Thank you for letting Lady Bird come to...

my Grandmother's

Thanksgiving, Mrs. McPherson.

No more politeness, call me Marion!

Well, nice to meet you, Mr. McPherson.

Please, call me Mr.

Larry McPherson.

Larry! Sit down Danny, can I get

you something to drink?

Oh no, I'm fine

Hi, I'm Miguel. The brother.

I think Lady Bird wants to make an

entrance.

She's mad we don't have a

spiral staircase.

Shelly.

What?

Is my name.

- Oh hi.

- Hi.

It's funny, on my way here, I went

over the train tracks...

You took H street?

Right, and so Lady Bird always

says...

that she lives on the wrong

side of the tracks,

but I always thought that

it was, like, a metaphor.

But there are actual train tracks.

Hi, you look amazing!

What in the hell is in that duffel

bag?

Don't worry about it, Jeez!

My grandmother will

love that dress.

Oh, okay.

- Wait, this is your grandma's house?

- Yeah.

Oh my god!

Oh Danny, you're late.

Thank you very much for having us.

This is Lady Bird.

Hi.

Hi honey,

been anxious to meet you.

Your house is my favorite in all

East Sacramento.

Thank you.

Oh my God.

Is this... A joke?

No.

Pull these out.

Almost done.

Do you like it?

Lovely, I love it.

Would you mind doing the

whole table for me?

Okay.

Waking up the countryside

How do you know when it's working?

Rate this script:3.6 / 8 votes