Lady Bird Page #4

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- You will know.

- It's not working.

- It's not?

- No.

My sister said this was premium.

- I'm working.

- I'm working too.

Nope.

I can't feel my arms.

You're working.

If Danny and I get married

and then his Grandma died,

I'd inherit the Dream House.

Wouldn't his parent's get it?

Oh yeah, we'd have to kill them.

And we'd have to kill his

older brothers, too.

Where is Mr. Bruno's wife?

No.

How's it going?

Mom, we can't really

talk right now.

Well, Happy Thanksgiving.

We missed you, Lady Bird.

Bye.

- Bye Birdy.

- Bye Shelly.

Why does that cigarette look so

weird? Like not like a cigarette?

It's a clove.

Lick your lips,

that's why they are sweet.

Your Mom was really

sad you weren't...

here tonight for Thanksgiving.

Yeah well, she hates me.

She has a big heart, your Mom.

She took me in after...

my parents freaked

out about, whatever...

Premarital sex.

I admire her.

SAINT IGNATIUS OF LOYOLA.

Pray for us.

LIVE JESUS IN OUR HEARTS...

Forever.

It started out like a song

There she is! Jules,

Wow! You were

so good. I couldn't believe that.

Thank you.

This is my wife, Becky.

Becky this is Jules, she's

one of my brightest students.

So nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too.

How we doing?

Yes, I'm a little tired.

Okay, I gotta get her home,

we've got the little one,

but that was pretty great Jules.

Thank you.

Congratulations.

They didn't understand it.

Yay!

No, no!

HOW LONG DO YOU THINK YOU ALL WILL BE?

I DRANK SO MUCH SODA!

F*** you!

I just got my period!

Goddamn it!

Where are you going?

There's never a line in the men's

room!

Oh my God!

They're really nice socks.

They're expensive, actually. They

wick moisture away from your feet.

My feet always have moisture.

Mom, I love them.

I'm sorry it's Small Christmas.

We wanted to, it's just

a little small this year.

These are nice.

Look.

- Okay.

- That's great.

It makes me laugh.

Dad? Come in.

How did you know it was me?

Mom doesn't knock

No, she doesn't.

Here they are, your completed

financial aid applications.

- Thank you...

- Merry Christmas.

Thank you!

Do you need money

for the applications?

Because I can help with

that, too, I just need...

no, no, I've got that, summer

jobs covered it.

This is why we have

Computer shut-off time.

This is our room.

Okay, okay, just can you drive me

to the

post office on J? It

should still be open.

3, 2, 1... Happy New Year!

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year!

Hey! I like your band with Jonah

Ruiz, L'enfance Nue?

L'enfance Nue.

Well, I saw your Thanksgiving show.

My name's Lady Bird.

It's weird you shake hands.

Yeah.

I'm friends with Jenna and

she's always talking about...

how great your band is so

I wanted to check it out.

- Yeah. Jenna's hella tight.

- Yeah.

Maybe I'll see you at

the Deuce or something.

Sure, see you at the Deuce.

Hey!

I'm not paying you to flirt!

I wasn't flirting.

I wish you had been.

A reading of the

book of Genesis.

The Lord took Abraham

outside and said...

Look up at the sky and count

the stars if you can.

Just so, He added...

shall your descendents be.

Abraham put his faith in the Lord.

Who credited to him as

an act of righteousness.

Our father who art in Heaven.

Hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come,

Thy will be done, on

earth as in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

The first time we did it

was at his...

lake house last summer. It was so

funny...

From Uncle Matt. I think he and my

Mom are fighting,

So enjoy the

lunches while you can.

Oh, no thanks, I'm trying to lose

weight.

Really?

Yeah, sex is not a big deal, it's

just my mom called during it!

It was on my cell phone, the one she got me

for emergencies.

Did you pick up?

Yeah, I was like, "um, Mom,

I can't really talk right now."

What was the emergency?

What?

What was the emergency?

Oh, my great aunt died.

I am so sorry.

She kind of did it to herself.

Yeah, I don't know why do that if

you're already so old.

Ladies, the skirts?

I'm going to write you a citation,

Miss Walton.

No more short skirts!

Sarah-Joan is all up in my jock.

She's a c*nt.

Birdy you like her.

Yeah, but, she's a c*nt.

I have an idea of how

to get Sarah-Joan back.

How?

You will see. This afternoon?

No, we have auditions this afternoon.

Right, I mean...

I don't think I want to do the

play.

Meet me in the teacher's parking

lot at 3.

I'll have the materials.

Agree.

Wait what was your name?

Lady Bird.

- Weird.

- Ladies!

We have a decision to make: prom

themes!

The top options so far...

Cities of the World, Eternal Flame,

and Movies!

Where is Father Leviatch?

Alright let's have everyone take a

knee.

What?

Cozy sit.

Now, I know that you all

miss Father Leviatch,

I'm telling you that, the brothers do too,

but I am going to...

give this thing my

very best shot.

Usually I'm

the J.V. football coach

but from what I can tell

a play is a play...

Where is Lady Bird?

She's with her new best friend.

She thinks she's too

cool for theater.

Now if you can pull out your

scripts.

I've assigned a number to

each of your roles.

And I'm going to put the

blocking up here on this board,

and if you guys can transcribe that

back into your playbooks, that'd be great.

Who is playing what part?

I had Miss Patty here assign roles

and she knows you all.

So... Call 'em out Miss Patty!

Okay. Uh, Prosper, Danny.

Danny nice, that's role 1.

JUST MARRIED TO JESUS.

Wait, where do you live?

The 40s.

That's where our starter house was!

Which street?

Um, 44th it's, it's the three story

blue one with the white shutters

and the American flag in

the front.

Yeah, I know that one! Do you wanna

go over there right now and eat?

I live in Granite Bay otherwise

I'd say lets go there.

Actually, I was thinking

maybe we should go to the Deuce?

I was talking to Kyle about it and

he was like

whatever it's lame but

maybe I'll see you there.

How do you know Kyle?

My Mom made me get a job at...

New Helvetia to learn

like responsibility.

Anyway we hang out there.

Yeah, Kyle's awesome. let's Deuce

it up.

Okay guys, now look...

Role 1, right.

You're going to run kind of

a skinny pose right up front.

I want you to look straight

at the audience, okay?

Don't be looking around and

blabbing anybody if they walk by.

8, 9, and 10,

you coming in hard right here.

Because these guys are gonna love it.

Don't talk much yourself.

Now, coming in slow...

We're singing.

This is singing.

The white lines are singing.

We are singing.

We are singing.

Danny's not singing here.

He's all alone.

Singing 8, 9 and 10...

You come in hard!

You come in hard!

- This is the Deuce?

- Yeah.

- It's a parking lot?

- Yeah.

We were in one parking lot and

we went to another parking lot.

Hey Kyle! Lady Bird and I

just decorated...

the nun-mobile like just

married to Jesus!

That's hella tight.

What you do is very

baller, very anarchist.

Yeah, f*** 'em.

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