Lady Bird Page #5

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Don't worry, I'm not

gonna snitch on you.

Well, I hope not, because I'd f***ing

kill your family.

What?

Sorry that was an exaggeration.

It's okay. My Dad has cancer.

So, I guess God is

doing that for us.

Oh... I'm sorry.

You work at New Helvetia, right?

Right.

Can I get your number? We were looking

to set up some more gigs down there...

Definitely.

It's my parents' number.

- You don't have a cell phone?

- Nah..

Good girl. The government didn't

have to put tracking devices on us,

we bought them and put them on

ourselves.

I don't own a tracking device.

No the cell phones. See?

Yeah. I know. I mean you'll have one

eventually. Everyone's gonna have one.

And then it'll be a

matter of time before.

Before what?

Before they put

them in our brains.

What do you want of me?

Yes?

My grandmother wanted me to tell you

that she missed you at Christmas.

Yeah, well, I could not

have gone anyway...

my Mom was pissed about

Thanksgiving.

Your mom is crazy.

I'm scared of her.

She's not crazy, she's just, you know,

she has a big heart. She's very warm.

I don't find your mother warm.

You don't?

Well no, she's warm, yeah, but she's

also kind of scary.

You can't be scary and warm.

I think you can, your Mom is.

YOU'RE GAY!

F*** me. Can you not

tell anyone, please?

I'm so sorry about everything.

I'm so ashamed of all of it.

It's going to be bad and I just

need a little bit of time to...

figure out how I'm going

to tell my mom and dad.

Don't worry,

I won't tell.

It's okay.

It's okay...

And do you have

a support system?

What do you mean?

Who do you turn to

when you feel this way?

No one, I guess.

I'm sorry.

No, no, don't be sorry. There's

no wrong answer.

Please, don't tell your daughter.

No, of course not.

Of course not.

Remember that you are dust and to

dust you shall return...

Remember that you are dust and

to dust you shall return...

It's a new system, you just...

enter your social

security number and...

Davis?

Davis is good.

Maybe you should have looked at it.

It's only half an hour away!

Less if you're driving fast!

I went to graduate school there.

Lots of smart people go to Davis.

I thought Berkeley had to accept me.

You and Miguel went there.

I am a legacy.

Eh, not if we don't give money.

And you get bad grades.

Oh what do you know about it?

- Meaning?

- Nothing.

- No, What are you implying?

- Nothing.

YOU F***ING RACIST.

I didn't say anything.

I DIDN'T PUT DOWN MY RACE!

Oh yeah, I'm sure they

had no idea, MIGUEL!

You are actually f***ing evil.

What is wrong with you?

Go... Go to your room.

I'm not FIVE!

I didn't raise you like this.

I don't have to go ANYWHERE! I'm

not going to a f***ing university...

that's famous for it's f***ing

AGRICULTURAL SCHOOL

And Miguel and Shelly,

you will never get jobs!

With all that sh*t in your face!

- Hey!

- Hi!

Help yourself to anything in

the fridge.

My parent's are upstairs but

they don't care if you drink.

Okay, cool.

I hate that sh*t.

But you smoke.

That's called hand rolled cigarettes,

never industrially produced...

and never cloves.

What's wrong with the Cloves?

You can't inhale cloves. What's

the point?

You're not supposed to.

Well, Cloves were what I first smoked,

when I was young

so, you know, force of habit.

It has fiber glass.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Rolling your own is best.

Also, like, I'm trying to,

as much as is possible,

not participate in our economy.

I don't like money. So, I am trying

to live by bartering alone.

But doesn't Catholic school cost money?

Yeah the diocese

were not super into it.

It mattered to my Dad that

I go to Xavier,

so just trying to

make him happy.

I don't want to have sex yet.

I haven't had sex yet.

With another person.

No, me neither.

- Really?

- Yes.

Oh my god! It's the tanning bed!

Julie will love this!

Who's Julie?

Lady Bird! You can't lock

the door over here,

We have one bathroom!

Sorry, sorry, sorry!

It's just this is the only place I

can get any privacy.

Do you really need to use two towels?

Ah... No,

I guess no.

If you need two towels

you just have to say so

because this affects

my whole day.

Because I have to do

laundry before work,

and I need to know if there are

more towels that I need to wash.

I just need one, sorry.

OK, well, let me get to the

mirror, I've gotta get going.

When do you think is a

normal time to have sex?

- You're having sex?

- No!

Uh, college is good,

I think college.

And... Use protection.

Like we talked about.

Okay.

Is Dad depressed?

Why do you ask that?

The pills... they have

Dad's name on them.

Dad's been struggling with

depression for years.

I didn't know that.

Money is not life's report card.

He's depressed about money?

Being successful doesn't mean

anything in and of itself.

It just means that

you're successful.

Yeah, but then

you're successful.

But that doesn't

mean that you're happy.

But he is not happy.

I have to get out of Sacramento.

Why?

Because it's soul-killing. It's

the mid-west of California.

Isn't there a thing, like

think globally, act locally.

I feel that the person who said

that didn't live in Sacramento.

I love it here.

I want to send my

daughters to Immaculate Heart.

I want to be, you know,

I want to be a mom.

At least go to San Francisco.

I don't like hills.

Start simple with x.

Plus 3, times x, plus 2.

Julie!

Julie!

Julie, hey!

What do you want from Julie?

Darlene, can you excuse us?

Darlene, stay.

Why aren't you in Algebra II?

- I switched sections.

- Why?

Are not Jenna and Kyle enough?

I'm sorry that you're jealous.

HA! Jenna is a moron,

you know.

She's not. She's

in AP Calculus.

She's a moron in a deeper sense.

You don't even know her.

Miss Patty assigned you

a role, by the way.

You just never showed

up to claim it.

What role?

"The Tempest".

There is no role

of The Tempest.

It's the titular role!

No, it's a made up thing so we all

can participate.

You can't do anything

unless you're

the center of attention, can you?

Yeah, well, you know

your mom's tits?

They're FAKE. TOTALLY FAKE.

She made one bad decision at 19!

Two bad decisions.

And at fifteen, this

girl was pregnant.

She decided that she was

going to get an abortion.

It made sense.

It was the right thing to do.

Let me guess she didn't get it.

And something deep

inside of her said NO.

Bingo.

Anyone want to guess

who this woman is?

- The young lady right here.

- You?

No, it was not me.

Your friend?

No, the girl in the story

was... my mother.

I am that baby that

she decided not to abort.

That could have been me, that could

have been my fate.

Just because something looks ugly

doesn't mean that it is morally wrong.

What did you say, ma'am?

- Nothing.

- Please, share.

I said just because something

looks ugly

doesn't mean that it is

morally wrong.

You think dead children aren't

morally wrong?

No...

I'm just saying that if you took up

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