Lady for a Day Page #4

- How'd you make out.

- Pitifully, pitifully.

They were charming women, too.

All four of them.

I'm sorry you brought that up.

I can't understand why l should

prove such a miserable failure.

You probably talked them to death.

- What do you say?

- I'm interested.

- Whose husband?

- Never mind that.

Now here's the layout.

You're going to be

the ever-lovin' husband

of Apple Annie.

Preposterous!

Most preposterous!

Of all people, Apple Annie.

Listen, Dude, this is

asking much too much.

A mere apple vendor,

practically a mendicant.

- Good afternoon.

- Here she is now.

- Here who is?

- Apple Annie.

The judge was saying how glad

he was to be your husband.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

I am deeply flattered.

The pleasure, l assure you,

my dear and charming lady,

is all mine.

See, Happy?

An apartment, clothes, judge Blake

and the thing was cinched.

Just between you and me,

l got quite a bang out of it.

Well, maybe now that that's over,

we can revive the Babcock deal.

'Revive it'?

You mean, you let it get away?

I let it get away?

You laid down on the job, huh?

I should've known that.

Say, listen,

Babcock wore out the seats

of two pairs of pants

sitting on his "El Fideldo".

All right, all right.

Call him up.

Tell him l'm ready.

I'll come right over.

I let it get away!

Hello, Dude.

- I'm glad l found you in.

- What do you want?

I want to see you

before the boat got in.

Annie's daughter arrives today.

Yeah, l know.

Alright, men, scram.

I'll see you tomorrow.

I shouldn't hurry so.

It plays havoc with my dignity.

What's on your mind, judge?

Come on, l got business...

Dude, you played

an abominable trick

on that poor old woman.

I what?

My dear Dude,

do you know the number

of reporters

- that meet the incoming boats?

- Well?

They'll want to know

all about the Count,

why he came to America,

who his friends are.

That means me

and Apple Annie.

Sure, a guy named Winchell

would give his right eye

for a story like this.

I told you you couldn't

get away with it!

Why didn't you think of that?

Why didn't l think of it?

Yeah. Why tell me now?

What are we gonna do?

What are you gonna do?

You started it. It's your party.

Well, l'm leaving it to you.

You better see

those reporters stay away.

- What time's that boat come in?

- I hope it sinks.

In about an hour.

I better go with you

to see nothing goes wrong.

- Come on, judge.

- Coming!

Goodbye, Sad Eyes.

Some 'phonus balonus' round here.

Yeah, Dave the Dude

isn't here for his health.

His whole mob ain't.

Tell your mugs to hold the circle

and don't let anyone near us.

Don't worry, the only way

they get in is with a tank.

- Let's see what happens.

- Not a bad idea.

- How do l look?

- Great. Okay.

- How does Annie look?

- You wouldn't know her, Schultzie.

I remember when Annie

looked like that all the time.

Notterhead took me over

and she smelled good.

I can hardly believe it.

In a little while l'll be

holding my baby in my arms.

Yes, there she is.

There she is!

Louise! Louise!

Louise! Louise!

Look!

Louise, it's your mother.

There's Mother!

She recognizes me.

She recognizes me.

It's mother! It's mother dear!

Mother!

Louise. Louise.

I can't wait.

She'll be down.

Louise! Louise!

Louise!

My baby.

Let me look at you.

You're beautiful.

I'm so happy.

I'd know you anywhere.

- What are they doing?

- They're kissing.

- Is Annie happy?

- Yeah, she's crying.

My sweet!

You're just as

l pictured you, Mother.

- My baby.

- Just as l pictured you.

Enough tears around here

to float a battleship.

This is your stepfather, dear.

Mother's written me

so much about you.

May l present

Count Alfonso Romero

and his son, Carlos.

How do you do?

It is indeed a pleasure,

my dear Count.

We've been looking forward

to this visit for some time.

Thank you.

How stupid of me.

This is...

your Uncle David.

My uncle?

I didn't know l had an uncle.

You must be Father's brother.

I'm so pleased.

Why, Mother, you didn't write

a word about him.

That's because Brother David

is the black sheep of the family.

I want you to meet Count Romero

and his son Carlos.

- This is my uncle, David Manville.

- How do you do?

- Where do you think you're going?

- Are you talking to me?

I ain't talking to your Aunt Tilly.

I'm a news reporter.

I want to chat with the Count.

You're wrong. He ain't no Count.

No?

Yeah, somebody threw you

a bum steer.

Shows you what

a rumor will do.

What you want to do

is go over to Pier 48.

There's a boat coming in

from the Argentines.

Maybe there's a king and queen

on it, you can't tell.

Take this man to Pier 48.

It's in the Bronx.

- But 48 is down by the Battery.

- In the Bronx!

Wonder what their racket is?

Looks like a couple of

foreigners being taken over.

Let's talk to the Dude.

Happy, a couple of cops

are going to see the Dude.

Holy smoke! We gotta stop 'em.

Go start a fight.

Sock the Weasel.

- The Weasel? He's my brother!

- I said sock him.

Hey, Weasel.

I hate to do this.

Fight! Fight!

Fight! Fight!

- Your car is waiting, sir.

- Thank you, my good man.

Am-scray!

A couple of oos-bay!

We'd better be going.

The cars are waiting.

You'll enjoy the ride, Count.

- Know where the family went?

- They went for a ride, sir.

- Where did they go yesterday?

- Went riding, l think, sir.

- The day before?

- The same thing, sir.

That's fine. Here...

that's for your expenses.

- And that's for you.

- Thank you, sir.

- Remember your general orders?

- Yes, sir.

"If l'm asked any questions,

l know nothing.

As a matter of fact,

l'm completely dumb."

Fine.

You think you can do it?

That should be a cinch.

I beg your pardon, sir?

I said, that should be

a lead pipe cinch.

If l had a choice of weapons

with you, sir, l'd choose grammar.

- Remember, don't flop on this.

- No, sir.

If you do, your family

better send for the body.

- I have no family, sir.

- You won't have no body neither.

Nobody...

Come on. I don't wanna be here

when the family gets back.

Uncle David!

Hello.

There you are.

I'm so glad to see you.

Hello, Mr. Manville.

Where have you been?

We missed you terribly.

Well, that's something.

Don't be so strange.

Everybody's crazy about you.

Carlos and l are going to

name our children after you.

If we're talking about children,

be a good idea to get married.

- When does it take place?

- I don't know.

Everyone's making a fuss about it.

Mother wants the wedding here,

for just the family.

The Count wants it in Spain

with the whole world attending.

Sorry, Ma...

We don't care where it happens,

as long as it happens.

That's the way to talk.

- Hello, Brother David.

- Edward.

- Hello, Mr. McGuire.

- Judge.

You've all met David's secretary.

Yeah, my... secretary, everybody.

I'm so glad you came, Mr. McGuire.

You might want to

invite him to our reception.

Sure, good idea.

Come on, Happy.

Reception?

What do you mean 'reception'?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes