Ladybugs Page #8

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- Yeah, me, too.

How's your mom?

She's not talking to me, you know.

Yeah, I know. She's not talking

to me too much, either.

What's in the bag?

Martha.

I was thinking about

how hard you worked

to get to this game and, well, I'm here.

You're an okay guy yourself, you know?

But I don't know...

You got to be mentally tough

as well as physically tough!

You'll thank me one day.

I'll make men out of you!

They're a tough team.

Listen, Matthew, I...

Hold it, hold it! No, Matthew, no.

There's no more Martha.

I mean, I want to win

but I love your mother

more than winning.

Chester, I know for a long time

we didn't hit it off.

And I think it's because

I never really believed

you really wanted to marry my mother.

And now I know you were just scared

because you didn't believe in yourself.

Chester, have confidence in yourself.

You're a great guy, I know.

Otherwise my mother wouldn't love you.

Thanks.

I didn't see Kimberly out there.

Where is she?

She's not playing, she's home.

- How come?

- Her father, he wouldn't let her play.

"Not playing."

All right.

You guys are going

to do something amazing today.

You're going to play

the best game of your life.

And you're going to win!

And you're going to do it without Martha.

- What did you say?

- What are you talking about?

- But we need her!

- It's not fair.

She won't be here today.

Look, we can win without Martha.

One person doesn't win a game,

the team wins the game.

Just remember, win or lose,

if you give it your best, you're winners!

Now let's get them!

Remember! Take no prisoners.

Wound, whip, kill, capture,

and/or destroy the enemy!

Chester, you all right?

- I got a headache.

- Is it bad?

Is it bad? My hair hurts.

Sh*t!

My God!

Put the ball in the net!

Holy cow!

Well, I'll be damned.

It took you 14 seconds to score!

You call that hustle?

The only thing quicker than that

is when I'm having sex.

Defense! Defense!

I command you to score now!

Holy boogers!

Yes!

It's all right, it's all right.

- I believe we still got a good chance.

- Good chance.

Like a one-legged man

in an ass-kicking contest.

What the hell?

Stupid idiots!

- Chester, look!

- Let them fight.

Let's try to win at something.

You can't do that. You're out of the...

- What're you doing to my little girl?

- She's out of the game!

- Get away from her.

- Oh, my God, Penny!

- Oh, Penny...

- Go away!

Show no mercy!

Chester, come on.

- Oh, my God!

- Beat them up! Now attack!

Hey, Coach Bull!

Take it easy, will you?

This isn't the army, you know!

It's my army, mister!

And if you were in my army,

I'd have you on latrine duty!

It smells like I'm there now.

Nobody talks to Coach Bull that way!

Coach Bull! I know your full name.

That does it!

Prepare to defend yourself!

- Let me at him, Chester...

- Take it easy! Take it easy.

No, I can take him, Chester!

I can take him!

- I'm warning you, I never hit a lady!

- And I'm warning you, she's no lady!

Break it up! Break it up!

Back to your benches now! Let's go!

Do you want to play this game or not?

Back to your benches.

Come on! Get to your positions!

- Incoming!

- Hit it!

I'll be right back, all right?

Martha, what are you doing here?

Kimberly.

I have something

very important to show you.

Oh, my God!

The first half is over.

The Flames leading

the Ladybugs, 3-nothing.

And now, everybody,

here is the Rocky Mountain

High School Band

and the giant weenie

and the weenie lady.

Aren't you going to say something?

Yeah, let's go home.

We'll beat the traffic.

All right, Chester.

- Kimberly's ready and raring to go.

- All right, I need her.

Hey, you got the bag. Good.

I need Martha, too.

Yeah, now it's our turn.

We're gonna kick some butt.

- Julie, get the girls.

- Okay, come on, Kimberly.

All right, here's how

we're going to play it.

- You're all set.

- Chester, here they come.

- This ought to be something.

- Martha!

All right, girls, settle down, settle down!

Take it easy, will you?

Come on!

All right.

I have a lot to say to you

but we haven't got much time.

I know you're all excited to see Martha.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Well, I'm glad you're sitting down

because, girls, there is no Martha.

- What?

- What?

- Martha is Matthew.

- What?

Oh, my God! She's a boy!

- A boy!

- Martha...

Oh, man! Can you believe that?

That's right. Martha is Matthew.

And I'm showing you this

for one reason.

You don't need Martha anymore.

You don't need a boy to help you win.

You're women! You don't need anyone!

You're liberated! You got the vote!

You can burn your bras,

when you get them.

Now get out there

and put out those Flames!

- Dave, look.

- It's Kimberly.

What's she doing here?

I don't know.

She told me she was staying home.

- Kick.

- Chester.

You can pass it.

You have five seconds

to get Kimberly out of there.

- Wait.

- Okay, I got it.

Easy, okay, okay, now.

Wait, the ball...

There's nothing to think about.

Get her out of there.

Look, we're not in your office now.

Out here, I call the shots.

Looks like I misjudged you, Chester.

I guess you don't care

about your future with this company.

Right now, all I care about is this team.

Chester, you've forgotten

what's important to you.

I didn't forget. You forgot.

What's more important?

That strangers look up to you

or your own kid?

Kimberly's playing today!

And if it means my job, too bad.

Look, Chester,

I just want to win today.

I only want the best out there.

The best, the best.

That's all I keep hearing.

You want to be the best.

Let me ask you this,

what good is being the best

if it brings out the worst in you?

Okay, girls, let's go.

Pester, take right wing.

Kimberly, take left midfield.

Okay, girls! Let's go! Let's go!

Come on, look alive!

Go, go, go, go! Come on, now.

Energy! Energy.

Coach Chester, I'm ready.

Put me back at goal.

What makes you think

I'd take a chance with you again?

Go on, hurry up and change.

Now, look, Larimer.

You're up against

a tough, tough bunch of girls.

You got to psych them out.

Got to make them lose their cool.

What do you mean, psych them out?

Well, I'll tell you what I mean.

Let me give you a few tips.

What are you laughing at?

If you could see what I'm looking at

you'd be laughing, too.

What does the score say?

It won't be like that for long.

All right girls, cut the crap, let's play.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

I'm glad I'm me, not ugly like all of you!

That's it, Lar! That's my girl!

Out of my way, sucker!

Go! Go!

- Stop the ball!

- Go home! Your mama wants you!

The Ladybugs have scored

their first goal, folks!

It's now the Flames leading 3-1.

- All right! They did it!

- Our first score!

What a feeling!

I had the same feeling when I was 16.

They broke my nail!

Mom, those b*tches broke my nail!

They broke your nail?

- They broke her nail!

- David, they broke her nail.

They broke her nail.

- Did you break her nail?

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