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God, I'm sorry.

I'm really emotional tonight.

I was already upset about Junior, and

then I came in here, and I saw her.

You like him, huh?

Yeah.

I might even be in love with him.

Wow.

Well, are you sure that

he doesn't like you, too?

Sure he does. As a friend.

Oh, right.

You know, he's probably checking her tag

- to see what cycle to wash it in.

- Yeah.

Mmm-hmm.

Uh, Megan, can I borrow

your car keys for a second?

I think I left my sweatshirt out there.

Yeah. Sweatshirt's a really good idea.

Thanks.

You know...

When I was in high school,

there was a guy that

everyone said liked me.

It was all I heard

about from my friends.

But he never acted on it,

so I kept getting unsure.

- Well, did he ever do anything about it?

- Yeah.

Sophomore year, he asked me to be

his girlfriend in front of everyone.

Oh... And did you like him?

Yeah. He was cute. Kind of artsy.

He noticed these details about the world

and talked about them in a way

that no other high school guy would.

And he was always...

He was always taking pictures and...

Pulling quotes out of nowhere

which I thought was pretty deep.

But, but maybe it was

the start of a habit

of waiting for other people

to make decisions for me.

You know?

okay-

Ooh, okay.

Okay. He's going to be waiting

inside to do a whole deposition on me.

So just go straight to my

room and wait for me there.

You don't have to take your shoes off.

Hey. Where you been?

Whoo! God! That movie was so long.

Hi.

- Hey.

- Did you find everything you needed?

- Yeah.

Yeah? All right, cool.

Are you in trouble?

No. He just made me tell him

the plot to the movie we saw.

And then he read the same

plot to me back online

to see if it matched.

But I just told him a movie I saw

last week when I ditched school.

Ah-ha!

Yeah. I didn't think you had

an interest in ventriloquism.

You. Downstairs. We need to talk.

I'm sorry.

It's not your fault.

Who are you?

Megan. Burch.

Mmm-hmm.

And I get that this can sometimes be

sensitive information for a woman,

but how old are you?

I'm in my 20s.

Uh-huh.

And why are you sleeping

over at my house?

Or I guess the larger question is,

why are you hanging

out with my daughter?

- It's kind of hard to explain.

- I bet.

No, I mean, I've never really

tried to. Not even to myself.

I like hearing things better

when they're not rehearsed.

All right, uh...

I grew up around here.

Well, no, I didn't, I mean, you know,

across the lake on the east side.

Uh...

I got "best couple" with

my boyfriend in high school.

And I started an alternative

dance team with my friends

meaning that we danced to Beastie Boys

instead of top 40. it was kind of cool.

After college, I worked some

random jobs, time went by.

I'm gonna skip to...

Okay, I went back to

grad school to get my marriage

and family therapist degree

because I thought I wanted to have

honest conversations with people.

- Mmm-hmm. -

But... But...

I did my internship and I...

I couldn't relate to any of my clients.

I felt like a total fraud.

So, you know, I kind of found

myself in this place. Like...

This kind of weird in-between

place, you could say, you know?

And, I don't know, I

was kind of floating.

And, and then I met Annika

at the grocery store,

and I skateboarded

with her for a minute.

And, and it was really fun, you know.

I liked skateboarding. I missed it.

I think it was just nice

to hang out with somebody

that cut me some slack for a change.

I'm sorry. This isn't gonna

make any sense. This is...

You know, this isn't...

It's not gonna make any

sense, so just f***ing sue me.

I'm sorry, that wasn't

meant to be a lawyer joke.

It's not a joke if it's not insulting.

I don't think I know any lawyer jokes.

Oh, no, wait, I do.

I've got one from my dad.

What do you call 5,000 dead

lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

A good start.

Hey, did you hear the

one about the grown woman

who started hanging out with

a bunch of pubescent kids?

No, what?

No, I'd never heard of it before either.

Come on, you gotta help me out.

So what... What were you like?

Uh, well...

Senior year, I was voted

"best gorgeousness,"

and most likely to pump gas

when I get older.

And then I realized it would

be fairly easy for me to argue

for a living if I wasn't

doing it on my own behalf.

And then there was this

intensely poufy white dress.

It gets a little hazy because

of all the tulle or taffeta.

And then there was a kid, and then

the taffeta floated out the door.

And that brings us to tonight.

Tonight.

What a cluster f***.

You talking about the mixer?

- Yeah.

- Mmm.

At these things, women insist

on touching your forearm

in this very deliberate manner.

These touches are meant to communicate

gold-star level skills in listening...

- In connectedness.

- Oh, yeah.

Do you know about this kind of gesture?

Yeah. You mean this one?

Yes. Do go on.

- Do go on.

- Right?

- Yeah.

- That's it.

Um...

Dad, you do know you can't

lecture her all night, right?

- She's not a kid.

- Oh, really?

You snuck your friend into my house,

I think you're lacking say-so here.

If you let her spend the

night in your locker...

No, that's school's property.

If you let her spend the night in

your backpack. Yes. No, that's...

- Actually I paid for the backpack.

- Okay.

So I guess that's my

property. I don't know.

Why don't you put a case

together. And come back.

- All right.

- When you got something solid.

I'm gonna go to bed.

You sure? We can talk about this more.

- Okay, goodbye.

- Good night, honey.

The property argument is inelegant

but it ends things quickly.

Uh, listen, I deal with a lot

of scumbags on a daily basis.

So I've developed a real

appreciation for the truth.

I've gotta think that if you were lying,

you'd make up an excuse

that's less f***ing weird.

You do realize that

reverting to a teenage life

and sneaking into my

house is weird, correct?

Right.

And why were you trying to sleepover?

Uh...

The lease on my apartment ran out,

and I can't get into

my new place for a week.

And my, my friends...

I just, I didn't want to, uh...

I didn't want to involve

them or my parents.

All right, um...

F*** it. I'm not gonna kick

you out at 1:
00 in the morning.

Oh, thank you.

You're not sleeping on the

floor of my kid's bedroom.

I'm putting you in the guest room.

- Got enough pillows here?

- Yeah, yeah. Thank you.

Please don't let this decision

become bad parenting on my part.

I won't. I really... I really won't.

Wait. He let you stay?

Yeah. I'm in the guest room.

I'm gonna let you do

something too, Annika.

I'm gonna let you do

additional chores for two weeks.

Oh, no, hey, look, it's my

fault she got in trouble.

She's the one who made the decision.

Hey, throw another tart

in there for me, will you?

It's your house.

It is my house. You know, I think

I'm gonna work from home today

because I really have no

good reason to trust you.

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