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- No offense.

- None taken.

Yo, your ride is here.

Patrick.

What happened to us, man?

You don't write anymore.

That's a great shirt. Listen.

I know you want to kill your dad.

Sometimes I do, too,

but I'm doing my best

to keep this case civil on his end,

and toilet papering isn't gonna help.

So if you want to take some

aggression out on a father figure...

Let's get scrappy, man.

So you can move on.

Whoosh!

You're a divorce lawyer?

Yeah, he's my dad's.

Wait, do you live here now?

All right.

Yeah, we should go to school.

Dad, stop. Just go.

Thanks for the banana, Mr. Hunter.

Seriously, Patrick. Help me out, okay?

I'm not... I'm not kidding actually.

Mmm. Good.

I think I cracked her eating disorder.

Really.

She is feeling so

confident about her body.

Yeah. I can see that.

Did you see the mail come?

No, not yet.

Show me something. What have you got?

Well, okay, I'm working on a flip.

So you flip it around and... Whoa!

And then you get on. You wanna go?

- Come on. -

I'm middle-aged.

No, look. Have a go. Come on. Come on.

- Okay.

- Just sort of like stand there.

You want to stand to make

it go, like, this way.

Okay.

Oh, geez. That almost hit my

dick. Okay. That's not good.

Maybe we should get the

training wheels for me.

Have a good day, you guys.

Can I trust you?

Yes, you can.

Okay, if you need anything,

key's under the stone tortoise.

- All right. Bye.

- Bye.

- Hey.

- Hey!

I was just retouching some guy's

back zits out of his baby shots.

That sounds lovely.

Oh, it was amazing. It was amazing.

How's the seminar?

It's so weird being away.

I mean, with you being gone, I've

just been holed up working, and...

I'm afraid to see everyone.

'Cause I feel like if I see them

I'm just gonna crack and tell them.

I've just been pretending

to be some complete loner.

When really I'm a secret fianc.

So are you getting a lot out of this?

Yeah. Yeah, you know, uh...

My animal's a tortoise. Go figure.

A tortoise? That's sweet.

I miss you.

I miss you.

Oh, hey,

your dad has left like three

million voice-mail messages

so you should probably call him.

'Cause I'm assuming he

doesn't know you're on Orcas.

Oh, yeah, no, I was... I was

being a secret seminarian.

- Makes sense.

- Yeah.

- Wise choice.

- Thanks. I thought so.

Look, I've gotta go. I gotta go.

Okay, right. All right.

- I love you.

- Glad I caught you.

- Love you, too. Bye, baby.

- Bye.

Oh... Hey.

Will you go with me to see my mom?

Sure.

All right.

My God.

What is this?

Um...

I don't know. It...

It just kind of felt like

something I should do.

God. She's been in there

making lemonade for, like, 20 minutes.

I don't think she's coming out.

Just take her and put her in

the car and tell her I'm sorry.

And whatever else you need to.

What could I possibly tell her?

That I thought I'd

be the really cool mom

that took her to concerts, and

she'd want to borrow my boots?

But then one day I realized

there's no such thing as a cool mom.

That the cool mom is

really just the bad mom,

or the mom who has become a joke.

Are you Craig's girlfriend? Is

that why you're here with her?

No. I'm just her friend.

What does she expect?

That you serve some lemonade,

and you ask her five to 10

questions about her life.

You treat somebody badly enough,

you just assume they'll

be happy to let you go.

She had... Said she

had to get something.

So, after I...

You know...

I started doing a lot

of catalogue modeling,

and I ended up doing a lot of lingerie.

Yeah, I know, I've seen your pictures.

Oh.

Well.

anyway,

they send me home with so many

things from these stupid photo shoots.

And I just thought that since, you know,

obviously, well, you're

a growing woman...

And, well, maybe there might

be some things you like in here.

Um...

Do you like this one?

Yeah, it's really nice.

I think that's about right.

I mean, do you like black?

Is black a color you like?

- Sure.

- Great.

Great, I have more.

What about florals?

I mean, do you wear nightgowns? Or...

I have thongs. Are

you into thongs or no?

I like that one with the bows.

Great. Yeah.

That's cute.

- Got room for that?

- Yeah.

You know, I really

needed a strapless bra.

You did?

Yeah. For my prom dress.

It's actually really

good that she gave me one.

Yeah. Yeah, no, it's really good.

You should come.

- Where?

- To the prom.

Saturday night. It's on

this boat in Lake Union.

Oh, no, I've gotta go

home Saturday, remember?

You know, I've gotta get into my

new place and sort everything out.

- I mean, I can't just float around forever.

- No.

Come on. You belong there with us.

Hi. I'm so sorry to keep you

waiting. Can I take your order?

Can we have two mondo chococinos

and two boysenberry muffin

tops. We're celebrating.

10.50, please.

There you go. Thank you.

Megan?

Hey. Coinkydink.

Anthony told us that you were

working on yourself on Orcas Island.

And that you probably weren't

checking your messages,

so that's why you

weren't calling us back.

Oh, did you call?

No, my... My phone's been off.

Megan. You missed

Savannah having her baby.

And you are the godmother.

The godmother!

Juppiter?

Yesterday!

No, and they went with Callisto because

someone at the hospital

had a Juppiter last week.

- Oh.

- Callisto is one of Jupiter's moons.

Oh, I only knew about lo.

Yeah, I learned there are 64.

Anyway, the baby is here.

And you're not out of town at all.

You're not immersed in some seminar

trying to get your life

moving in the right direction.

You are driving around

getting chococinos with...

Who the hell is that? I

don't even know who that is.

Oh.

- Meg... Is that your drug dealer?

- No.

No. I'm not on drugs.

Okay, look, here's the thing. No,

I'm not... I'm not on Orcas Island.

But I am on Orcas, if you think

about Orcas on a bigger level.

Like symbolically.

I just, you know...

I just needed a second of personal time.

You know, I mean, it's a week,

but in terms of my life, it's more like

just a second to get my sh*t together.

And then... Then I'm going

home in a couple of days. Okay?

I feel like I should really

tell Anthony that you never left.

What are you talking about?

Oh, my God. You're

supposed to be my friend.

I mean, it was you and

me and Savan and Danielle

before he ever even asked me out.

But I'm not going to tell him.

Thanks.

Because he bought a ring. And

he's going to propose to you.

Yeah. That's right. He did.

I helped him pick it out,

and it's, like, incredible.

So I bet that makes

you think twice about

how ridiculous you're being with

this fake Orcas stuff. Meg...

I really want this wedding for you.

And it's not even the wedding.

It's that we're friends.

It's like how our prom,

it wasn't just a dance,

it was us getting ready together.

And then how we all lied

to our moms together.

And stayed at the cheap hotel,

and went swimming naked

in that nasty pool.

And we all thought we were so cool.

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