Laggies Page #7

Hey, the tux place is at the other end.

All right, so we'll meet

back here in like an hour?

Sure. If you can live

without me that long.

I'm not sure I can.

You've gotta dance

with him tomorrow night.

I mean, who's to say?

Okay, I'm trying this one on.

It's you.

I know.

- No.

- No?

You wear white to your

wedding. Not to prom.

Shut up. I like it.

This is it. This is it!

I look so f***ing good, man.

I don't even know why those other chicks

are even gonna bother to show up.

What do you think?

Oh, you look so cute.

Good?

You should buy it. Yeah.

Do you have any gum in your bag?

Right there. Little shorter.

You can't take it a little more.

Yeah, but like, shorter.

- You want my ass out?

- No.

She wants my ass out.

"A and M. Best couple forever. "

He had it engraved?

Are you married?

I'm only engaged.

Only engaged.

Who's the A?

You don't know him.

My dad know about him?

No.

Are you going back to him?

Yes.

God, you're even worse than my mom.

You know, at least when she

pulled my dad into her bullshit,

she didn't know she was gonna leave.

Oh, sh*t.

God, Megan, don't even turn

around and look at me right now.

I'll swear on whatever

you want me to swear on.

I really like your

dad. I wasn't faking it.

You're a huge f***ing liar.

Even your fake ring

was fake at being fake.

Who knows what else you're

trying to lie to me about.

She's really hurt, Megan.

Oh, shut up, Junior. You pulled

your own bullshit with her, too.

Oh, don't you even try

to bring him into this.

Can you please stop the f***ing

yelling while I'm driving?

Who gives a f*** about

your dad's love life?

He helps break up other people's

relationships every f***ing day.

Don't be a dick to Annika

just because your dad's a dick and her

dad's trying to bring home some cash.

Shut up, Misty! How does any...

I don't know what crawled

up your ass today...

You want to hear what

crawled up my ass, Annika?

Oh, God!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Are you okay?

Is anybody hurt? Are you okay?

- Is your neck okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Okay.

I'm drunk, Megan.

He's sending me to

boarding school next year.

And she didn't even fight him on it.

I opened the bottle of wine you bought

me, and I put it in the OJ container.

I just didn't want to care anymore.

Okay.

Okay, everyone out of the

car. Out of the car right now.

When the cops get here, I was driving.

The wheels slipped. I

think my palms got sweaty.

Can you touch your nose

with your left hand?

With...

Are you able to recite

the alphabet backwards?

Uh...

Z- X-Y-V...

No, W, W, V... Oh, God.

I don't think that I could do that

even if I hadn't been drinking.

Have you been drinking?

No.

Please, stay here a moment.

I just wanted to say that what you're

doing for Patrick is pretty solid.

This officer thinks

I've been driving drunk,

and I might be legally

drunk. I don't know.

I had some gin this morning.

What the f***, Megan?

Miss Burch, I'm going to ask

you to take a breath test.

Is that okay with you?

Yes.

I want you to blow into this tube.

Continue to blow until I

say stop. Is that understood?

Keep blowing please. Keep blowing.

That's good.

Miss Burch, I'm gonna

ask you to turn around

and put your hands behind your back.

Hold your hands together, please.

Wait, no, she... She didn't do anything.

No, chill out, Patrick.

Please, relax.

This way, ma'am.

Annika, can you please call

your dad to come, please?

Watch your head, please.

- Are you in?

- Yeah.

What are you gonna do?

Burch.

Your lawyer's here to see you.

Thank you, Officer.

Well, I've planned your escape.

It's gonna involve a lot of soap.

We're gonna have to

roofie this guy over here.

But I think we can do it.

Annika didn't tell you.

She told me.

I know Patrick was driving.

And I know what you did for him.

I think it's a really stand-up thing.

Craig...

Uh...

I've got something to tell

you, and you're gonna hate me.

I doubt that.

Uh...

I am not waiting for a new apartment.

My boyfriend, the one that I got

"best couple" with, he proposed.

And I needed some time.

I'm engaged to be married.

So you...

So you didn't lose your lease?

That's not why you've been staying over?

No. I just...

I needed to get my head together,

and I gave myself a week.

When are you getting married?

Tomorrow.

You know, I mean, if I'm not in jail.

I, uh, we're eloping. I'm

getting married tomorrow.

- That's really something.

- Yeah.

Tomorrow. Huh.

Congratulations.

- I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

- No, that's...

I'm such a shitty person. I

really want to tell you everything.

The first time I met the

kids, I bought them alcohol.

It never happened again,

but that's where

Patrick got the wine from

and I went with Annika to see her mom.

So you met, uh...

Sh*t. I'm gonna stop there.

That's all the lies

though. You know, the...

The rest is true.

However, I acted around

you, that was true.

Whatever happened

between us, that was true.

And I know that I

shouldn't have kissed you.

I know I shouldn't have done

that. It just got so confusing.

'Cause I had this feeling like

I was already in love with you.

Say something.

The number you blew at

the scene was borderline.

The number you blew at

the station was under.

So they're gonna release you.

- Something else?

- Like what?

That I haven't felt connected

to anyone I've flirted with

or casually seen or dated

or slept with for years,

for I don't know how long.

That this was a rare deal.

That right now I'm aware looking

at you, this could be it for me.

I never anticipated still

having to find a place

where I'd fit in by the

time I was an adult either.

I thought you automatically got

one once you had a job and a family.

But it's just you, alone.

Thanks for coming.

Hey, no problem. I'm happy to.

Do you want to tell me what happened?

No, nothing. It was a mix-up.

They're not pressing charges.

Good. Good.

- Listen, honey...

- Dad, no, I...

I need you to know

that I f***ed up, too.

So I'm in no position to judge you.

What are you talking about?

You can totally judge me.

I did something really stupid.

And it's gonna take a long time before

your morn can think well of me again.

You told her?

Yeah. I wasn't going anyplace.

I just had a moment in time where...

You know, I lost sight of who I

was and what was important to me.

So you're staying together?

Yeah, we're gonna work on

it. She wants to work on it.

Do you still think

you were just shifting?

Well, that's what, you know,

relationships are, you know?

Not the cheating part,

that was my problem.

But you know, you don't just

get into one and then that's it.

It's work, and it's always

changing. It's always changing.

Yeah, I think I know what you mean.

Look, I was just happy to hear

from you. Even if it was from jail.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Baby-

Welcome back.

So I, uh, checked the

chapel's photographer out.

He's no me, but he's

done some okay work.

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