Lake Placid 3 Page #2

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Do you wanna see something cool?

''Hey, guys. Wanna see something cool?''

-What a freaking jester.

-What a dork.

Feeding time.

That's all l got.

Hey, no eating the cook.

l'll try to bring more next time.

Where is it?

Around back. Tried to take a chunk

out of one of my customers.

lt's wicked big.

l think he came up through the toilet.

You're wasting my time.

Take it easy, Tony.

Willinger.

Yes, dear.

Yes, dear. Yeah. Yeah.

Here, could you hold on? Hold on, dear.

Willinger.

l got a lead on my missing elk.

Seems she's wandering around

somewhere near Sadie's lake.

Nathan, l don't wanna hear anything

about crocodiles.

There's nothing in that lake

bigger than a trout. Just stay put.

That was productive.

Yes, dear.

Well, you shouldn't have put it

in the microwave.

I wish I could believe you.

lt was a one-night stand, Marsha.

She meant nothing to me.

-l have absolutely no feelings for her.

-But this is how...

He was kissing Jessica

before the last commercial.

...Susan's little one? The little one

with the same hair and eyes as yours.

Susan? Susan means

absolutely nothing to me.

Where's my mom?

Connor, where have you been?

Forgot my phone.

Where are you going?

Honey, l am so sorry, but l have a thing.

What was l saying?

l have a last minute open house.

So l am gonna leave you with Vica

for the rest of the day

and tomorrow we will go see a movie.

l promise.

But you said that we'd...

Connor, this is important.

Please understand.

But l need to show you something.

Well, show me when l get home,

l love you so much.

Bye.

Connor! What are you doing?

You smell like dead goat. Go take bath.

l'm going to the store

to get some baseball cards.

l don't care about your baseball cards.

Connor! You didn't take bath.

You got to stay away

from those cookies, boy.

You seem to have gained

quite a bit of weight since l last saw you.

About two minutes ago.

Well, l...

lf it were me, l'd kick your little butt.

Parents' number.

And not the fake one, either.

Gotta be out here somewhere.

God!

Sorry. Sorry.

Thanks. l think you knocked out a filling.

Well, l know the name of a good dentist

in town, if you need one.

Thanks for the tip.

Maybe we can call it with your space phone.

Space phone? Yeah, good one.

No, it's a radar antenna. Are you okay?

Yeah, l'll let you know.

l'm a zoologist.

l'm doing a project for the EPA on elk, so.

Elk? Like deer with big antlers?

Yeah, but don't tell the deer that.

-Seriously, Connor? Stealing meat?

-No, l...

Mr. Dimitri, l am so sorry.

He's never done anything like this before.

Really?

Yeah, he just loves meat.

Ever since he was wee high...

Well, goody-goody for him.

All he has to do now is pay for it.

Nobody wants to buy used meat.

No, of course.

-lt's not for me, it's for...

-Connor,

l want you to go straight home

and wait for me in your room.

-But, Mom...

-Now.

Look, l promise this will never happen again.

He's a good kid, really. He's just...

He's a little bored,

and that is my fault, not his.

So, how much do l owe you?

Just to let you know,

the chicken went off sale yesterday.

So, are they usually like that?

Well, unless there's a species

of flying-elk-head l haven't heard of,

l'm gonna go out on a limb and say no.

Sorry. Excuse me.

-Hello.

-Hey.

l just got pulled away

from one of the biggest commissions

of my life to bail your son from Dimitri's,

where he was being held for shoplifting.

Shoplifting? Okay, tell Dimitri

we'll pay for whatever candy bar he stole.

l paid for it, honey, but it wasn't candy.

No, he had a backpack full of meat.

He's stealing meat?

Yeah. And apparently,

he's taken up smoking.

Smoking?

So, remind me to put a lock

on the wine cabinet.

He said they're Vica's

but she doesn't even smoke.

And speaking of Vica,

why are we paying her to sit at home

and watch TV

whilst Connor is out shoplifting?

Well, at least we're keeping one of them

off the street.

Did we not feed Connor the right things

as a baby?

Did l eat too much chili

when he was in my womb,

and now he's a sociopath?

What? He's not a sociopath.

l mean, every kid does something like this

at some point.

He's just... He's being a little boy.

A little boy who's been unsupervised.

Okay, put him on the phone,

l wanna talk to him.

l sent him home.

Sorry about your day. For what it's worth,

mine isn't going much better.

Really? Sorry.

Okay, well, l'll see you at home.

Okay. Bye, babe.

Yeah. And l just hope you don't become

a vegetarian any time soon.

l'm voting for pork chops.

Bye.

Sorry about that. Cell reception out here

is a once in a lifetime opportunity, so...

Hey, what could have eaten the body?

A bear?

l told you, l saw cougar tracks over there.

He wasn't asking you, Charlie.

He was asking the zookeeper.

Zoologist.

-lsn't that what l said?

-No.

l don't think it was a bear

but it may have been a coug'ar.

What did l say?

A cougar named Reba.

-You know what you did?

-Yeah.

Excuse me, sugar, could you pick that up?

Thank you, handsome. You can keep it.

Why would a hunter chop off the head?

Yeah, isn't the head

supposed to be the best part?

Well, that's what l keep trying to tell you,

but you don't wanna go for it.

Well, it doesn't make rational sense, no.

But that might be the point.

She might be trying to mess with me.

Hunters are weird.

Yes.

So if it wasn't this cougar lady,

then what was it?

l don't know.

Look, if you guys run into any trouble,

there's a cabin

just on the other side of that point.

You can duck in there if you'd like, okay?

Yeah, what kind of trouble?

Just be safe and don't mess with the elk.

All right? Sorry.

-l hope you find your moose killer.

-Elk!

Whatever.

Excuse me,

is there a Reba around here anywhere?

Just there? Thanks.

Excuse me.

-You Reba?

-Depends on who's asking.

l contacted you, l'm Brett.

Then that would make me Reba. Have a seat.

Now, if l may say so, that photo in your ad,

it just don't do you no justice, Reba.

Now, my good buddy Walt here and myself,

we thought we were just getting ourselves

a hunting guide,

but, girl, you are one fine package.

Well, aren't you just such a sweet talker.

Once we're miles away from civilization,

been out there a few days,

missed everything you shot at,

and your belly starts grumbling,

you're gonna appreciate my aim

a lot more than my other assets.

lf you receive my meaning.

Well, l, for one, am a multi-tasker

and l plan on appreciating both.

So,

Brett, was it? How'd you hear about Reba?

lnternet.

lnternet.

How about you two load your gear

into my truck?

lt's the big one out front.

Boat on the back, gun rack up front,

mildly offensive bumper-sticker. You'll see.

All right. Let's go, Walt.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

All right. There.

Thank you.

So, Brett?

You play your cards pretty close to the vest,

but l think l deserve to know

what you're really doing here.

Your website said that...

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