Lake Placid 3 Page #3

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l don't have a website.

Well, let's just say you're kind of a legend.

A legend?

Of what sort?

Bigfoot? Crop circles?

Global warming?

No. You know how to find things

that don't wanna be found.

l'm looking for a girl.

A girl that hangs out in the woods?

Or the lake. l'm not really sure.

All right, look. l don't have a chance

of finding her on my own,

and you're the only guide

that goes into the area.

All right, then.

Elks for the yahoos.

One Lois Lane for Superman here.

Where is it?

The meat stealer.

Your mother called. Go to room.

-Lost something? Like a lighter?

-Give it back.

You tried to get me in trouble

by putting this and the cigarettes

in my backpack.

Give it back right now.

And you can ask my mom

for the cigarettes.

Teddy? Teddy?

Connor! Come back here.

Your mother will be mad at me.

Devil child, where did you go?

Okay, so l'm down to one hotdog.

You guys are gonna have to share.

Connor!

lt was here.

Nathan, l am sick and tired

of these false alarms and pranks.

Now, l drove all the way out here

because you promised me a bloody mess.

-Now, where is it?

-lt was right here.

Teddy, stay.

Come on, Teddy, get away from there.

Wait.

Teddy, no.

Watch yourself.

Teddy, no! Come back, Teddy. No.

lt's a stick.

Yeah.

Poor Teddy,

now l know why you have a panic attack.

-How many elk did you say you've lost?

-ln the last six months?

Yeah.

Too many.

l'm starting to think it's not a poacher.

Hey, l checked that lake three times.

And, Nathan, l swear to God

my eyes were open the whole time.

Now look, l may be from the city,

but l know my way around the wilderness.

Last time you checked that lake was a year

and a half ago, and things change.

Now, we owe it to the community

to make sure that lake is clear.

l don't live with my head in the sand.

l need evidence.

Well, what if something just came

and ate it?

And what if the evidence is a stick?

l don't have sophisticated sonar equipment.

We'd have to order it in.

That would take days.

Okay.

But we do have the next best thing

back at the station.

Well, great.

So you and l, we'll go back,

we'll come here, we'll check the lake.

Now, nothing would make me happier

than for you to be right.

All right. All right, let's go fishing.

Yes, dear.

Yes, dear. Why don't you do that?

l bought this with my own money.

You know, in New York City we got people

who swear they've seen Elvis

at 63rd and Park.

We got people

who swear they've been abducted by aliens

and, yes, we've even got people

who swear they've seen albino crocodiles

-in the subway.

-Sheriff!

Shut up!

Wow! That's a little much

for Aroostook County, don't you think?

l believe a boy scout

should always be prepared.

Especially one from Jersey.

Connor?

Vica?

Connor!

l think the sun is better over here.

Connor? Connor, are you here?

You know, l told you to go straight home.

Connor!

Mom,

l think l did something bad.

-Sweetie, is that blood?

-No, no, no.

-What is...

-lt's not my blood. It's...

l was by the lake...

ln the water. He's in the water!

You coming, Ellie?

lsn't it a little cold?

That's why we came out here.

Get out into the real world,

the way things used to be.

You know, when our ancestors came here,

there were no heated pools.

There didn't have iPods either,

but l noticed you brought yours.

Hey, at least you got away

from he-who-must-not-be-named.

Yeah, let's not talk about it, okay?

l bought a new bikini for this trip,

so l have to use it,

whether the water is freezing or not.

See, now she's got the right idea.

Or, l have a better idea.

Why don't we all just jump in naked?

That'd be hilarious, right?

You guys first.

lt worked!

Yeah, l guess the image of you naked

really did the trick.

He actually thought

we were gonna jump in there naked.

l know. He is so...

-Obnoxious, right?

-l was gonna say funny.

You're kidding.

Not like ''l'm gonna sleep with him'' funny,

but like, ''l'd set him up

with one of my fat friends'' funny.

Like you have any fat friends.

-Clarissa put on a ton of weight recently.

-Tara!

-What?

-She's pregnant, not fat.

lt's not all baby. She's not giving birth

to, like, Andre the freaking Giant.

You're terrible.

Just being realistic.

That's a really cute bikini.

-Where'd you get that?

-Thanks. Clarissa's closet.

Have you heard from Brett?

,

No, if l wanted to talk to Brett

l would have called him, so...

Well, you're not gonna let him apologize?

l'm gonna let him stew for a few days,

or weeks. l haven't decided.

Would you?

Does he know about you and Aaron?

What?

No, there's nothing to know.

Yeah, and l'm not gonna hook up

with the lacrosse team.

-Seriously, there's nothing.

-Yeah, right.

Honest.

You ready?

-Yeah, let's go.

-lt's gonna be cold.

Oh, God.

Oh, my God!

lt's good though, eh?

-What's going on?

-l can't get through to my wife.

l haven't been able to get through to mine

since '86.

Connor, try 911 again.

lt won't go through.

Vica? Vica? Hold still, honey.

This is gonna hurt even worse.

Connor, find me something

to soak up the blood. Now, now, now.

Well, Susan isn't gonna believe this.

l mean, ''What did you do today?''

''l hunted a crocodile.''

You're all worked up over this, aren't you?

Yeah.

Okay. Here.

l'm sorry.

Okay. Connor, start talking.

l just wanted a pet.

Sweetie, what was it?

Mom!

Hey, Suze, guess what?

Vica...

-You there?

-We don't know what...

-Can you hear me?

-Okay, Susan,

try to speak a little more slowly

-and calm down.

-...at the cabin.

She's at the cabin. She's terrified.

-And... And l don't know what...

-Okay. Hey...

Come on. Let's load the guns.

lt's not that l didn't wanna let

the poor bastard live,

it's just, how many times do you get

to shoot a giraffe?

-Hey.

-Anyway, the zoo

demoted me to the souvenir shop after that.

Can you imagine?

You're joking, right?

You shot an animal in captivity?

Just further proving

that my philosophy is correct.

Hunting's not fair,

so there's no point in pretending otherwise.

What's that?

This is what guarantees you a shot

at the big game.

Big game is what you're after. Right, Brett?

Nothing like shooting and eating an animal

you're not supposed to.

Stop the boat.

l usually don't take orders,

but l'll let that one slide.

What'd you see, college boy, a turtle?

Quiet.

Okay, that one l'm not gonna let slide.

That's gonna cost you an extra 20.

What did you see?

Did you see Vica get bitten?

-No.

-Then whose blood is this?

Teddy's.

He went too close to the water

and l tried calling him

and he wouldn't listen.

Mom?

Yeah?

l fed them.

What?

The meat from our freezer.

And that's why l stole from the store,

because l couldn't feed them enough.

That's why they ate Vica's dog.

Connor,

you've been coming here,

when we told you not to?

On my bike.

You knew there were dangerous animals

in the lake

-and you didn't tell us?

-You would have made Dad kill them.

Oh, my God. No, no, sweetie, he would...

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