Lake Placid vs. Anaconda

---

All right, here he comes.

Now, this is the one you want.

He'll make a fine specimen.

Nice shooting.

Now, let's get this thing on the truck

and get it over with.

We almost finished here?

You don't want to spend

too much time in one place.

Once one croc spots you, they all come.

This place is infested.

Shut up, old man.

These animals are gonna

make us all very rich.

So just be patient.

We're beginning the procedure now,

gentlemen.

As long as we're getting on with it,

I'll take my money.

That wasn't the deal, Long John Silver.

The deal was that

I get you and your people in here.

I did that.

The deal was you get us in and out.

All right.

This is only half the numbers.

Yeah, Mama didn't raise no fool.

You'll get the other half

when I get my money.

All right, it's just

a little stick, sweetie.

Why are you talking

to an anesthetized croc?

It's an old habit.

From my hospital days.

I don't understand why we can't just

take this stuff back to the lab?

And why does that snake have to be here?

What we're doing here is very precise.

Yikes!

Once we've altered the structure,

the manipulated DNA

becomes very fragile.

So, an immediate implantation

into an egg-producing female

will give us the best chance

for success.

She's ready to lay her eggs.

They just need to get fertilized.

Now, these two smaller male snakes

will provide the catalyst

for the procedure.

Fine. So the snakes will mate.

Get on with it.

Can I at least see the money?

Excuse me. Watch the hook, man.

Aren't you gonna count it?

I trust that it's all there.

I'd thumb through it, but no thumb.

It's an awful lot of cash

just to get you to open a gate.

And to keep my mouth shut.

You see, without the proper motivation,

I might just be tempted to call

Fish and Wildlife.

Bet they'd be real interested

in exactly what you want

with those protected crocodiles.

You give Ms. Murdoch my regards.

And boys,

you all be careful with these crocs.

Take my word for it.

First bite's always the worst.

- Jim, we ain't done here yet.

- Firearms.

And you still owe me

the last three numbers.

- Okay.

- Pardon me. Crossing. Watch the gun.

No problemo.

I'm injecting her

with the mutated cells now.

Finito.

What now?

Now? Now we wait

for the new cells to take.

This female snake

is genetically engineered

which means that all of her

biological process has been accelerated.

She'll grow faster, molt faster.

Lay eggs faster. Got it. How long?

She should lay her eggs

in the next 24 to 48 hours.

Dear God.

Great. Wake me up

when it's time to go home.

We'll get her back to the lab

and everything else will be done

in an incubator. Okay?

Our friend here is awake.

That's not possible.

I gave that thing enough tranquilizer

to knock out an elephant for 12 hours.

You know this isn't an elephant, right?

It's getting loose.

It's getting loose!

The snakes!

Sh*t!

Sh*t.

Hey, Tully.

New sunglasses? Nice.

You know I can see the deer, right?

Deer just jumped out

in front of my truck.

What about the one in the back there?

I forgot. There was two of them.

You sure that's the story

you want to stick to?

It's the God's honest truth this time.

Isn't that a bullet hole?

Looks like about a .308 there,

wouldn't you say?

A .308?

I don't know anything about ballistics.

Ballistics?

That's a real big word for you, Earl.

I'm impressed.

Don't worry.

I know it wasn't you that shot him.

Earl Junior!

Why don't you come out

from behind that bush over there?

Let's have a little chat before I have

to cart your old man off to jail.

He's just a kid, Tully.

You're scaring him half to death.

Poaching is poaching, Earl.

You know the deal,

the fine or the time.

The fine.

Have a nice day.

That ain't no way to treat a citizen!

First beer's on me later.

Have you seen her?

Have you seen my baby?

Daphne! Daphne!

Have you seen her? She's missing.

- My baby.

- Get away from me, lady.

- No.

- Sheriff! Sheriff, stop!

Have you found her?

Have you found my baby?

We're pretty sure that

she's with Jared, Mrs. Mailer.

No, Sheriff, what if she's not with him?

I told her to stay away

from that piece of trash.

I'd cut that sucker's balls off

myself if I...

If I could do it legally, that is.

She's really a good girl, Sheriff.

Yes, yes, I know. She's been an absolute doll

since she got out of jail this time.

But, Sheriff, it's been two days.

I'm not stupid. I watch reality TV.

After the first 48 hours,

it's practically a cold case.

Okay. Well, we're doing

our best to locate her

and I promise I'll be in touch

as soon as I hear something, okay?

Thank you, Ms. Mailer.

- You have a good day.

- Thank you. Hey! Hey! Hey!

Stop!

Sheriff.

Mr. Mayor.

What was that all about?

Her daughter went missing.

Last seen?

Hiking outside the fence at Black Lake.

- Outside the fence?

- Yes, sir.

Is this something that

I should be worried about?

Because if it is,

I'll have to call in a prescription.

The daughter is a grown woman, sir.

We think that she took off

with the boyfriend.

The mother's not too fond of him.

But, we are considering other possibilities.

Good.

I gave you this job because

you know the town, its people,

and to make sure that

the crocodiles at Black Lake

don't cause any problems.

You gave me this job, sir,

because nobody else wanted it.

I sent Ferguson down to take a look.

Ferguson?

I have complete faith in your abilities.

I'm behind you all the way.

But if you screw up, I'll throw you

under the bus in a heartbeat.

- Steve, how are you? Nice to see you.

- Mr. Mayor.

Thanks for the building permit.

Remember, it's an election year.

Ice cream! The mayor has coupons

for free ice cream!

- Coupons for free ice cream, everyone!

- What the...

Sheriff, can you hear me?

Yeah, Ferguson, where are you?

Is that you?

Yeah. Go ahead, Ferguson,

before I kick your ass.

Yeah, roger that.

We are combing the perimeter fence

just like you instructed.

Find anything?

Yeah. Yes, ma'am.

Is it Daphne Mailer?

No, ma'am.

You need to see this for yourself.

Okay, since we're playing this game,

secure the scene. I'm on my way.

Roger that.

Secure the scene!

I can't believe she would

use this picture of me.

Yo, Daphne! Open the door.

Wait, I got the key.

- Where the hell have you been?

- Hey!

You scared the hell out of me.

Look at this.

Cool.

Look at the picture! I look like a pig!

My mom picked the worst photo

she could find of me.

Boo-boo, you look good.

Good and fat.

No, you look good, real good.

You look hot,

you look sexy.

Girl, you look smart.

Wait, you really think I'm smart?

Yeah, you got a GED.

You know, there's something

I really like

about a guy that appreciates me

for my mind and not just my body.

Okay.

Baby.

What?

Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Come on.

- Baby, you said you like it rough.

- Yeah.

Sorta. Okay.

Baby!

Okay. Just a little less.

Yeah.

- Where have you been?

- I've been walking all night.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes