Lano & Woodley: The Island Page #7

Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Simon Francis
 
IMDB:
8.8
Year:
2005
60 min
197 Views


Shut up! I own you!

He's the... I'm Tom Lincoln!

Don't point the gun at me,

you frickin' idiot!

- He's the clone. Look at him!

- I'm not a clone! I'm Tom!

No, I'm Tom! He's lying!

Point it at him!

- No. I'm not.

- Shut up!

Shut up, you're a clone! Shut up!

I'm Tom Lincoln!

- I'm Tom Lincoln!

- Don't, don't...

Oh, sh*t.

Close.

Do you think it's strange that my

insurance policy just tried to kill me?

I found this whole operation strange.

Where's the woman?

She said she was going out of state...

...to look for her sponsor.

You've been witness

to certain trade secrets.

You mean that they manufacture

human beings who walk, talk and feel?

That kind of secret?

Have you talked

with anyone else about this?

Who would believe it?

Can I count on that?

The only thing you can count on

is that people will

do anything to survive.

I just want to live.

I don't care how.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Job well done.

Jordan? Jordan?

Stop.

Hey, Jordan, it's me. It's me.

It's you.

- Wow, that tongue thing is amazing.

- I know. Open your mouth again.

- How come we never did this before?

- Shut up.

The Island is real.

It's us.

- How many are affected?

- About half.

We're seeing the same

neural patterns in all of the Echos,

plus every subsequent generation:

The Foxtrots, Gammas and Helos.

We predicated

our entire system on predictability.

Six Echo has displayed

the one trait that undermines it:

Human curiosity.

So... we're now

facing four generations

with the potential

for defiant behavior.

What are you suggesting?

A recall.

Wait, you mean dispose of over

- Yes.

- Great.

Cisco IP Communicator.

Connecting to Merrick Biotech.

This is Charlie Whitman, the public

relations director at Merrick Biotech.

My deepest apologies for yesterday's

unfortunate inconvenience you had.

Your defect in your policy wasn't,

by no means, an isolated incident,

and it is totally correctable,

I assure you.

We are calling other

valued clients right now

to inform them of a recall,

so, please, call us when you get in...

Unfortunate inconvenience?

That's a bit of an understatement.

Mr. Lincoln, you're home.

Aren't you traumatized, sir?

I mean, I had a home invasion once

where they put the gun to my head.

I never forgot that.

I shook for two days.

What kind of recall

are you talking about?

Oh, it's a small defect that we found

in four of our product lines.

What are you gonna do

with the defective products?

Starting over.

- Starting over?

- Absolutely nothing to worry about.

We guarantee

our product 100 percent.

The unfortunate inconvenience for you

is we're gonna have to re-scan you

so that we can re-grow your policy.

Does today work for you at all?

Pick you up by helicopter at 3:00?

I'll call you back.

Dr. Merrick,

how do we remove the

defective products from the population

without disrupting the others?

We already have the mechanism in place.

Dahlgren Two Foxtrot.

Cooper Five Gamma.

Mass winnings.

He kept a journal

and a lot of maps.

After I figure out how

to get that thing in the water,

then we can get on it and...

...we'll keep heading south.

We could live like real people.

Tulie Two Foxtrot.

Ginsberg Two Helo.

We'll disappear.

Yeah.

But after.

All those people we left behind.

Jones Three Echo.

When we were escaping,

I saw this room.

If I could get in

and shut it down,

they'd see the truth.

Gentlemen, there is, however, another

matter that requires board approval.

The disposal of 200 million dollars

of infected product.

All in favor?

- Aye.

- Aye.

Aye.

You've been chosen.

You're special.

Very special.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

Thanks.

Here you go.

- And what do you say to the nice lady?

- Thank you!

In-bound, Jordan product.

- Escort her to Surgery Prep Seven.

- I better say hello.

Mr. Lincoln, thank you for coming.

It's great seeing you again,

and we are so, so sorry

about this entire episode.

I want to tell you that

we are going to be birthing

a brand new agnate for you

free of charge.

Won't cost you a penny. After you.

Would you like an apple?

An afternoon snack...?

- No. How long will this take?

- It's gonna take about an hour.

I read that you're from Scotland.

I prefer Ireland.

But what part in Scotland...?

I realize that this small talk

is just part of yourjob,

- but let's cut the shite, OK?

- Point taken. My apologies.

I'm just a bit of a jabberjaw.

Chatty Cathy.

Turn right. This way.

I'll take her.

This is gonna be the exact

same routine as last time.

Mind the hose.

Technician will be here.

Look at you, so young and successful.

I always wanted to get into yachting.

I hear they're taking your kidneys,

your lungs, your heart.

They are gonna hack you up.

Too bad.

No one is touching me.

- Give me your Tri-Key.

- You shot me.

Shut up! Give me your walkie!

Get down. Get down, now!

- You all right?

- Yes.

Come on.

I've got this figured out.

I kind of...

I messed it up in one area right down

in there, but the hole doesn't matter.

Something's happening.

Something's happening.

Hello, sir. Hello.

Thank you for your patience.

I'm sure you're excited

to get to the Island.

If you grab your belongings

and line up in a single-file line

and follow me,

we'll be on our way.

Take this. Go.

You have to keep going.

- Go. Go.

- OK.

Go shut it down.

I love that Picasso.

Do you like Picasso, Mr. Laurent?

You delivered on your promise.

Well done. I'm very pleased. Thank you.

What about the client?

Sarah Jordan?

She's doubtful.

Even if the transplant's a success,

her brain damage may be too severe

for any real recovery.

You took too long bringing her back.

The girl, you're going to harvest her,

kill her anyway,

even though it won't

make any difference?

That's the privilege our clients

pay for, Mr. Laurent.

Now, do excuse me,

I have business to attend to.

You know my father was part

of the Burkinab Rebellion?

And when he was killed,

me and my brothers were branded,

so others would know

we were less than human.

I've seen and done things I'm not proud

of, but at some point you realize war...

...is a business.

So when did killing

become a business for you?

Oh, it's so much more than that.

I have discovered the Holy Grail

of science, Mr. Laurent.

I give life.

The agnates,

they're simply tools, instruments.

They have no souls.

The possibilities are endless here.

In two years' time, I will be able

to cure children's leukemia.

How many people on Earth

can say that, Mr. Laurent?

I guess just you and God.

That's the answer

you're looking for, isn't it?

Mr. Whitman has your check downstairs.

Looks like single gunshot.

Oh, no.

Wrong wrist.

Dr. Merrick,

the body thatjust came in...

...is the client.

Issue a security alert!

Lincoln Six Echo!

Down, down, down!

Move, move!

- Disturbance in the Hologram Room.

- I'm on it.

Dr. Merrick, I sent censors

to check a possible attempted breach

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Colin Lane

Colin Stuart Lane (born 25 March 1965) is an Australian comedian, actor and TV host living in Melbourne, best known for being one-half of comedy duo Lano and Woodley. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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