Lano & Woodley: The Island Page #6

Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Simon Francis
 
IMDB:
8.8
Year:
2005
60 min
190 Views


I ever seen!

Come on, girl.

I know Jesus loves you.

Can you keep a secret, doc?

Why, yes, of course.

There is something

going on around here.

Something you may

not even know about.

What is it?

Well, I'm not sure that

the contamination is real.

- Why do you think that?

- OK.

Lincoln told me that he found

a flying bug in Sector Six.

- Wow.

- Right.

And I think that might be why

he thought he could leave.

Have you told

anyone else about this?

No, no. But I'm gonna do some digging.

I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.

And when I do,

I'll share my information with you.

Thank you.

I want to be helpful.

I like it here.

Good.

But I really want to look

into the lottery too.

- Something's wrong there.

- Yeah.

You know,

you were one of the first

of the Echo generation.

You're very smart.

Yeah. I remember

when I first came here.

A survivor, just like you.

One of the first, in fact.

It's natural, even healthy,

to question the world we're presented.

You might say it's only...

only human.

Oh, that burns!

Get me a list of all the Echos

in active population.

I saw his address. Tom Lincoln.

We'll go there when the rain stops.

- It'll be OK when we find him.

- OK.

That little boy looked like me.

His mom's gonna die, isn't she?

I don't know.

You're lying.

It's cold.

Go in.

I can't.

- I'll go in.

- Jordan. Jordan!

Hello?

Hello?

Lincoln!

Oh, my God.

My name is Lincoln Six Echo.

I'm your insurance policy.

And what are you doing in my house?

Sir, sir.

You need to see this.

It's a... It's...

It's beautiful.

This is a synaptic scan

we took of Six Echo three years ago,

before we integrated him

into the agnate population. OK?

This is his scan from a few days ago.

You can see how much the memory's grown.

Like he's experienced 30 years,

not three, which is impossible.

Or maybe this is scarring from

a cortical infection that we didn't...

An infection can't teach you Latin,

or how to fly.

They are memories.

But they're not his.

They belong to his sponsor.

I've seen you before.

I've seen you in Maxim, Esquire...

- Maxim?

- Oh, they're men's magazines.

Pictures of women

with little, tight, short...

...stories too.

Anyway, you're very popular.

There we are.

What is that?

That looks like some kind of thermal...

Boy, your skin is so soft.

Did you know?

I put some clothes

out for you upstairs.

- Thank you.

- No, thank you.

I keep expecting to wake up.

I thought I was taller.

I'm sorry to disappoint you.

Come here.

She is unbelievable.

How is it you've been around three

years and end up with the kind of woman

I haven't been able to find

my whole life? Give me that.

She found me.

She's my best friend.

- Why do we sound different?

- I'm from Scotland.

I'm from Scotland.

Hey, look. You're creeping me out

enough without that.

- Without that.

- No, really, cut it out.

That's enough.

Yeah, that is enough.

I'm sorry.

Like a freak show.

Yeah, it's weird.

- So, you build boats?

- I design them. I draw them, yeah.

Here.

I started off with cars, motorcycles.

Experimental designs.

Anything that blew my hair back.

Kind of a speed freak, you know?

- Petrol-head.

- Motorcycles, wow.

- I feel like I've seen these before.

- It's something I've always done.

I never dreamt it would make me rich.

What's Renovatio?

"Renovatio" in Latin means rebirth.

Subtle, eh?

Look. I have cirrhotic hepatitis.

A parting gift from God

for all my philandering.

What?

Lots and lots of sex.

- Sex?

- Sex with...

You've... You're a virgin?

You're kicking around with her

and you're a virgin?

OK, I'm not gonna spoil the surprise,

but, boy, are you in for a treat.

Look, my doctor said that my liver will

start failing within the next two years.

I'm not good at all this shite,

you know? Confessions and regret.

Look.

There are people who are following us.

They're trying to kill us.

The reason we came is we need your help.

Help you do what?

To show people

what the Institute does.

But who'd believe it?

I'm looking at you and I don't.

Who is that guy? I know him.

Is he the Community Announcer?

He's the President of America.

- He has a clone.

- He's an absolute idiot.

Yeah, I never liked him, either.

- Do a lot of people see this?

- The news? A lot.

Then if we can get

on there together,

people will see us and know the truth.

So the idea is that we both

just waltz down to NBC

and see if they can slot us in

after the weather.

This might not mean anything to you,

but there are thousands of us.

Everyone we've ever known

is gonna die in that place.

Help us.

All right.

Let me just get my shoes, OK?

Tom, hurry up!

Merrick Institute.

- Merrick Biotech. How may I help you?

- This is Tom Lincoln.

- Hi, Mr. Lincoln.

- I was wondering if you could

get someone who can explain

why my insurance policy

is sitting downstairs

on my f***ing sofa.

- Can you hold, please?

- Sure.

I'm sorry to keep you both waiting.

I was getting myself organized.

OK, shall we go?

Are you ready?

- Something's wrong.

- What?

His eyes are lying.

The same as yours do.

You stay here.

- No, don't...

- Shall we?

- Yeah.

- Is everything OK?

Yeah. She's gonna stay here

in case they don't believe us.

No, come on, we'll all go.

It'll be good.

No, she's gonna stay.

- Good luck.

- Thank you.

That's...

- Do you like it?

- Yeah.

- I'll drive.

- Oh, no. I'll drive.

No, really.

Do you know how?

- Yeah, I taught myself.

- But you don't know the way.

Well, then you can show me.

Well, be careful.

This is a V-12-09 Caddy.

Seven hundred and fifty horsepower,

$500,000 car.

Put your thumb on that.

You were worth every penny.

We've the same prints.

- What are you doing?

- Getting directions.

Hello, Mr. Lincoln.

Where would you like to go?

KNBC news studio.

- One moment, please.

- Thanks for doing this.

That's all right. I'd like to think

you'd do the same thing if you were me.

- How much did I cost?

- Five million dollars.

Is that a lot?

It's a small price to pay

to cheat death.

That's a red.

It's a red. Red. Red!

- Stop the car!

- Why? What? Why?

It's a red light! Stop the car!

What's the matter?

You wanker! It's a red light! Stop!

It means stop!

- I didn't know that.

- You said you could drive.

Well, I do know how to drive.

I just don't know what the lights mean.

I'm sorry. I'm not ready to die.

Me neither!

Go, go, go, go!

- What are you doing? Stop!

- No.

- Stop the car now!

- No!

- I'll shoot! Stop!

- No!

- Yes!

- No!

There's cars coming at us

in all directions!

They're shooting my car!

They've shot the engine!

They've shot my engine!

Oh, God, my nose!

Come here! Where'd you think

you were going, eh?

- Come on!

- Let go of me!

Get up!

- Get off me!

- Come on, get up!

- Let me go!

- Get up!

No, no, no, don't shoot him.

I need him. I need him.

No, don't shoot!

He's my clone!

- I'm Tom Lincoln!

- What?

No, I'm Tom Lincoln! He's lying.

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Colin Lane

Colin Stuart Lane (born 25 March 1965) is an Australian comedian, actor and TV host living in Melbourne, best known for being one-half of comedy duo Lano and Woodley. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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