Last Holiday Page #5

while, when I was a girl,

we tried to be mad in a sane world.

- So much more satisfactory, don't you think?

Been doing some work

on our subsoiler blade, old man.

- Our subsoiler blade?

- Yes. I want you to come in with me.

Take a look at this. There's a proposition

there I think might interest you.

Don't want to rush you, but look it over as soon

as you can. What are you doing this afternoon?

Playing croquet with Mrs. Rockingham,

Miss Hatfield and you.

I've forgotten how to play croquet.

I've never played in my life.

Good shot, partner.

So, as far as I can see,

that starts at a fat salary,

plus commission.

- That's all.

- Not good enough?

Not good enough?

A week ago, I'd -

- Well, what about a week ago?

- Your turn, Mr, Bird,

What do I do now?

You put your ball through that hoop, partner.

- Though it's about a hundred-to-one you can't.

- You never know these days.

You've done it!

You're too good for us, Mr. Bird.

- How do you do it?

- Luck. Just luck.

Your go, Mrs. Rockingham.

I've had a word from old Kyle.

He's interested in our proposition.

He may be able to help us with the metal too.

Now, that blade ought to be lighter,

don't you think?

- Yes. And thinner- if you can make it just as strong.

- I'm onto that, my dear fellow.

Don't stand gossiping there.

No, no, partner. Keen as mustard.

- Silly game, this. Make it rain, will you?

- Anything to oblige. Rain, please.

Oh! Oh.

Thank you.

- What a horrible cigarette case.

- I'm a horrible man.

Do you know anything about hands?

No.

I have a cousin who specializes in them.

She looks at hands more than faces.

I don't really observe anything very much.

I'm really in a dream half the time.

Pleasant dream?

Not lately.

We were going to talk about me,

weren't we?

- Yes.

- Well, if you don't mind, I think we won't.

I'm sorry.

I don't like your cigarettes.

- They're the cheapest I can find.

- Cheap things are a mistake.

It's a bigger mistake

to buy things you can't afford.

Why do you say things like that to me

and then smile like that?

I'm probably trying to do

everything I can to impress you.

Kiss me.

No?

No.

I'm sorry.

I must still be in love with Derek.

What a nuisance.

Well, say something.

All right, then. Get out of this, and start living

a real life somewhere while there's still time.

I don't think I want to listen to this.

No, but for once you're going to

do something you don't want to do.

And I say start living a real life.

Your last chance may be slipping away.

If you still want your husband, then

take him away and make him into something.

If he isn't worth it,

then clear out yourself, before it's too late.

- Mind your own damn business.

- Certainly.

I only wish someone had talked to me

like that 10 years ago - five years ago.

- I'm going.

- You'll get wet.

I don't care if I drown.

Why would you live with this trash?

Look at this!

There's no honest workmanship in that,

You might as well have asked

a couple of schoolgirls to do the job...

with cardboard

and a poke of tin tacks,

Please, Sir Robert, I tell you. I ask for the best

workmen, the best material, especially for you.

A laddie with a wee fretwork set

could have done better.

I don't know what the country's coming to when

the likes of that passes for a job of work. Huh!

Man, Gambini, they may swindle you, but they

won't get away with tha' while I'm about the place.

I say.

Well, my dear sir,

and what might you be wanting?

Let me know if you're going

right through that wall...

because I happen to live

on the other side.

I asked for some alterations

to be made here.

I know,

I heard about them,

Well, look what they've given me,

That's what you get nowadays.

No a decent tradesman left.

Just fellas hanging around,

waiting for cups of tea.

Now be fair. Look at the rotten stuff

these chaps had to use.

- What's your name, sir?

- Bird.

And you're Sir Robert Kyle.

I've heard of you.

Very likely.

But let me tell you...

that I was working on the Clyde

with these two hands before you were born.

- Maybe, but you had good stuff to work with.

- Ah, I did.

And these chaps hadn't.

They had to take what they could get.

We've had two world wars

and some nasty knocks...

since you worked

with your hands, Sir Robert.

Hello, hello!

Welcome back, Sir Robert.

Hello, Bird. You've got a fierce look in your eye.

You two been quarreling?

Not at all,

Eh, Mr, Bird?

- Certainly not. Just a little argument.

I tell you, Mr. Bird, I am very grateful

for this way you talk to Sir Robert Kyle.

To everyone who come here I say it is

very nice to have them staying with us...

but that is one big lie.

But with you is honest truth,

Mr. Bird.

And all of the time you remind me

of my dear brother.

- There's something about you, Mr. Bird.

- Really?

And where is your brother now,

Mr. Gambini?

He's dead, my brother.

- Get wet this afternoon?

- A bit.

Me and Daisy got properly soaked.

Got a nice bit of news for you,

Georgie boy.

It all comes of trusting a bloke

with a mug like mine.

I couldn't get us tens on that horse.

Got eights. She romped home.

Left 'em standing like I was told she would.

Your share's 400 quid.

- 400 quid?

- You'll have it in the morning, old son.

But that's no reason why we don't

celebrate tonight. See you in the bar, eh?

I'm holding up the dinner, sir,

because they're all in the bar...

which is like Klondike

in the gold rush this night.

Some nights they all drink like fishes.

Other nights nobody drinks.

And why this should be

I cannot tell, you cannot tell.

This'll be a great night for getting rid of

a few portions of the old game pie...

which has been weighing upon us

like the sorrows of the world.

My friend, of some things

it is better not to speak.

I shall eat a little soup

and cold chicken in my room...

and try to listen to La Scala di Milano

on the radio.

Come on, everybody. Drink up. Laugh and be happy.

This is my lucky day and you're all in it.

Him and his lucky days.

And these are 10 bob a time too, George.

They're not worth it, Daisy.

Your friend Bird keeps giving you

some queer looks.

- Can't understand how he takes everybody in.

- Can't you? I think he's rather sweet.

Probably won a few hundreds

in a football pool...

and everybody thinks he's somebody

mysterious and wonderful.

- Eh, Sheila?

- I don't know and I don't care.

I'm worried about Derek.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry, sir, but don't forget

the Pinebourne Club.

Ring up and tell 'em

I'll be a few minutes late.

Delayed by urgent business.

Never does any harm, eh, Sir Robert?

No, not when they won't vote for you anyway.

And they won't, you know.

My husband, Sir Herbert, always said champagne

cocktails did you more harm than good.

Nonsense!

What did you say?

I said nonsense, Lady Os - Oswington.

- Absolute nonsense.

Oi, chum, join in. Don't be shy.

Try one of these.

Right-o, chum.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

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