Last Holiday Page #4

No, madam.

Now, more reasonable.

- Bye-bye.

- Bye!

What world was I living in?

Make me international.

We could try.

Give me my money.

I can't wear this.

Oh, yeah, there we go. Like that.

You think anybody'd call me ma'am

in this outfit?

- No.

- Definitely not.

- Table for one, please.

- Yes, mademoiselle.

Please.

May I take your pashmina?

Oh, is that what this thing is?

Sure.

Hello, sister.

Who the hell is she?

- Mademoiselle.

- Thank you.

Her name is Georgia Byrd.

She's loaded and she's an old crony

of Dillings from Louisiana.

L...

I'm sorry.

No. It's okay, it's okay.

Water. Flat. No ice.

- Please, serve everyone.

- Of course.

Matthew, what are the chances

of our meeting Chef Didier?

Margaret here's got a couple

of his books. She's a big fan.

Is that right? Arturo!

Yes, sir.

Make sure Didier comes and says hello

to the table.

And fire that guy.

For the specialties de maison,

we have the cassoulet.

We have risotto Barolo with truffles.

The rouget citrus beurre blanc

with capers.

Roast quail with brioche stuffing.

And a braised lamb shank

with blood orange relish.

Blood orange relish.

Now, that all sounds so good.

Will he have the same specials

tomorrow night?

No. Chef Didier never creates

the same menu twice.

Well, I guess I better try them all

tonight then.

Tout? All?

Tout, baby! Tout de suite.

Do you think he would do a risotto

without the dairy?

I think I'm going to have

the rouget citrus without the potatoes...

and the blanc without the beurre.

No butter, no cream, no wheat,

no dairy, no fat!

Merde! Why do they bother to eat?

Next time, stick this in my neck!

And no substitutions?

I will do it myself.

She has got them eating

right out of her hand.

Well, she's sure not watching

her cholesterol.

I wish I could command

attention like that.

Is that the lamb?

- Mademoiselle.

- Oh, look at that!

Looks so good!

Everything looks so good.

Bon apptit.

Bon apptit.

Amen.

I was thinking maybe we could get Bob

up to speed tomorrow at lunchtime.

Yes, Matthew. I'd like to know more

about this merger.

Here he is!

How do you find everything,

mademoiselle?

- Arturo.

- Yes, sir.

I think he'll be by.

I'm sure he'll be right over, sir.

- I'll be up there, on top of the mountain.

- Okay. Will Margaret join us?

Because we do need to talk

some business.

Okay, what time?

Depends on Kragen's schedule.

You know, where I come from...

we do a barbecue quail

with an andouille pudding.

I think you would just love it.

And, you know, call me crazy...

but am I tasting rendered lards

of pork belly here?

Oui?

Pork belly?

Oink, oink.

Very sensitive palate.

Half clarified butter and half pork fat.

- I knew it.

- No? But you keep it to yourself.

You know how some people are

about pork's fat.

Yeah.

They don't like the pork...

Chef Didier, you're crazy!

Matthew, you seem to know everybody.

Who is she?

I was gonna ask the Senator

the same question.

- I don't know her.

- Really? You sure about that?

Well, for your information,

I don't know everyone who's black.

Well, apparently she knows you

from New Orleans?

Really? Maybe it was last year's

Entrepreneurs of Diversity.

Well, whoever she is, I'd sure like

to have her ordering 10 plates...

at a $10,000-a-plate fundraiser.

Why, Bob?

Haven't I've been contributing enough?

No, Matthew, I didn't mean it that way.

You've been very generous

and it's much appreciated.

Dr. Gupta.

Dr. Gupta.

Sir, if this is a medical question,

I'm still on my break...

for two and a half more minutes.

Well, actually, excuse me,

it's not about me.

It's about Georgia Byrd.

Remember the lady who hit her head?

Sir, why do you think

I'm so desperately trying to relax?

Well, she's been acting

really strange lately.

She up and quit her job.

Nobody's seen her.

And I was wondering if you had said

anything that might have upset her?

- Or if you know something...

- I'm sorry.

Patient privacy prevents me

from commenting, I'm very sorry...

- You're gonna tell me!

- Okay, okay.

- Sir?

- Tell me!

Georgia Byrd is going to die.

- What?

- I'm very sorry.

- What?

- I'm very sorry, sir.

No, this can't be.

My break is over. We can talk about it.

Come, put me down.

That's nice.

I do it with love.

Okay.

And the gonging, flushing

negative energy.

Wait. I gotta use the bathroom.

They say these waters

have curative powers...

let you live to be 100.

Yeah, well, I hope they work fast.

Clarence Dillings.

Senator Clarence Dillings.

- I know who you are.

- Oh, so, we have met.

Entrepreneurs of Diversity?

- No, afraid not.

- Washington?

They do know each other.

Well.

Church?

- But I didn't go to church last Sunday.

- That's right.

You know, you left a whole lot

of church folk disappointed, Senator.

People who voted for you.

I hope you'll communicate

my sincerest regrets.

I don't wanna have nothing

to do with your regrets.

I got my hands full of my own.

I got a gut feeling about that woman.

She's trouble.

You know, Matthew,

who was it who said:

"Adversity is the stone

on which I sharpen my blade"?

Me.

Excuse me.

Ms. Byrd, is it?

We've not been introduced.

- My name...

- There's no need.

Everybody knows Matthew Kragen.

The man for whom

"enough is never enough."

I mean, who is she?

How do I know she's not part of some...

consumer watchdog group

or something?

Well, it's not like there's some law...

against being at the same hotel

with a congressman and a senator.

Actually, there is,

if they're on my plane and my dime.

Well, watchdogs don't stay

in $4,000-a-night hotel suites, okay?

So, how about you and I

just forget all about...

retail empire building...

and let's just take a little bath? Yeah?

I'll take a bath, all right.

A $500-million bath

if these mergers don't go through.

You just keep your eyes open

and remember why we're here.

Are you all right, Madam Byrd?

Yeah. I just... I just love these sheets.

I love them. I was just taking them

for a little ride around the block.

I am Gunther. Floor valet.

Oh, that was you

that put my clothes away.

- Yeah.

- Okay.

Well, Miss Gunther,

what do you do for fun around here?

What do I do for fun, madam?

I shine the guests' shoes

when they leave them out in the hall.

If that will be all.

No, actually, that won't, Miss Gunther.

I'm gonna be wanting to have

one of these snowboarding lessons.

- Very good. Will that be all?

- No, no.

No, it won't.

I want some more

of these spa services. Like maybe...

Maybe this algae flotation wrap

and the reflexology massage.

No anti-aging treatment?

- No, I ain't worried about aging.

- So, that will be all?

Yes! The colon irrigation treatment.

That's my gift to you.

Sort of like a "let's be friends" gesture.

Now, you think of me

when you're having it!

Oh.

I've been waiting my whole life

to do something like this.

- All right then, let's go.

- Okay.

- Just lean forward. Lean forward.

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