Last Vegas Page #9

- Well, you know, I was wrong.

You a**hole!

A**hole! Whoo!

You are so cool!

Diana.

We gotta talk.

Hey, don't even think

about kissing me

until you've talked to

your fiance.

Paddy's gonna ask you out.

That's why I want to

get to you first.

Diana, you know

he's completely alone.

I just think you gotta

give him a chance.

Okay.

I thought...

Well, that's completely

embarrassing.

I guess I misunderstood.

No, it's not like that.

- No, it's not. It's not.

- Well, what is it?

Are you just gifting me to him

like you did his wife?

- It's not the same as that.

- Well, how is it different?

His wife had a choice to make.

First she came to you.

- You said, "No, choose him. "

- Oh, stop it.

- And so she did.

- Diana, stop...

How's it different?

That true?

What she just said?

Wow.

Poof. Just like that, everything.

Look, Paddy...

Paddy.

Oh, my God.

I am so sorry.

No, it's not your fault.

It's, you know...

He's my best friend, you know?

Ha-ha-ha.

- And these four guys...

Paddy, you okay?

Paddy, what's wrong?

What happened?

Paddy?

We were kids, Paddy.

You don't know women.

What are you talking about?

Look, Billy, you don't know women

the way I know them.

You haven't shared

a full life with anyone.

You don't know what that is.

You can't tell a woman who to love.

Especially Sophie. You can't do it.

I know what I had

with my wife, Billy.

Thanks to you.

So I'm gonna ask you one more time,

you miserable prick.

One more time.

Do you love this woman

you are about to marry?

Billy!

All right, here's the deal:

You end it, or I will.

Hey, hey, you stay out of this, all right?

It has nothing to do with you.

Hey, babe!

- I owe you this one.

- Aah!

Lisa, my name's Patrick Connors.

Although that imbecile in the pool there

started calling me Paddy

when we were kids and it stuck.

Oh, right. Paddy!

It's so great to finally meet you.

- Yeah, nice to meet you.

- Billy's told me so much.

Why did you throw him in the pool?

Ah, that's just an old game

from the neighborhood.

Listen, dear.

Can I tell you something?

- Yeah.

- Fifty years ago,

Billy did something for me

that allowed me to marry

the only woman I ever loved.

And now it's my chance

to return the favor.

- I'm sorry, I don't understand.

- He's not in love with you.

He likes you.

I know he likes you a whole lot,

but he doesn't love you

like the way that he should.

I can't let him marry you.

He's my best friend.

I can't let him marry you.

Billy?

I guess we gotta talk, huh?

What is he saying to her?

That she's young,

got her whole life ahead of her.

Trying as best he can

to let her down easy.

I'm sorry,

I didn't catch your names.

- Madison.

- Taylor.

Madison.

How do you think

she's, uh, taking it?

Mixed emotions.

- This blows.

- Yeah. Blows.

This is gonna be one

sloppy, drunken weekend.

Yeah. Uh, bye, Taylor.

Bye, Madisons.

Hey, uh, Billy?

Yeah?

I couldn't let you marry her.

No, you did it right. You, uh...

Congratulations, a good job.

- You mad?

- No. No, you were right.

Because, you know,

if you're mad that's okay.

No, Paddy. I... I'm old.

You know?

And without her, uh...

I'm just scared of being old.

We were 17, you know,

five minutes ago.

It was just yesterday. I just don't know

where it all went, you know?

My brain cannot conceive

how old this body is.

Our girl's gone, Pat.

And I wasn't there

at the funeral.

And I'm so sorry about that.

I let you down, man.

And I couldn't bring myself

to say goodbye.

Archie's got a stroke, and Sam, well,

he's gone to Florida.

Man, it's just winding up

a little too fast.

And I'm feeling old and alone.

You have us.

Yeah, Billy.

God help you, you got us.

And you got a hot little number

singing her heart out

in some shithole across town,

you lucky son of a b*tch.

Man.

Only you

Only you can make this

Change in me

For it's true

Oh, baby, you're my

Destiny

When you hold my hand

Is she sick?

That's it?

You're not gonna finish?

Shush. You got in for free.

So how did she take it?

Well, she's probably

in Malibu by now

burning my house down, you know?

It went as well as you could expect.

Poor kid. Are those for me?

Hmm? Oh.

Actually, um, no.

I'm sorry, um...

Excuse me.

On behalf of Binion's,

I'd like to apologize

for the delay in the

show, but, um...

...I'm really interested

in the performer.

She's the most amazing woman

I ever met,

and I just can't believe in two days

that she's, you know, inside my heart.

But I don't want her to know,

because, you know,

with gorgeous women,

they like men

that like to play hard-to-get.

True. Very true.

Thank you.

Okay, that worked.

So you gonna kiss me

now, or, um,

you want to hear more about

how I'm falling for you?

Eye contact. You...

it doesn't mean anything

without eye contact.

I'm looking at you, baby.

Mm, uh-oh.

All right, kid,

we'll take it from here.

Time you went and hung out

with some guys your own age.

And here's a little something

for your troubles.

- Wow, you sure?

- No, I was just putting you on.

- Of course I'm sure.

- You give the best advice.

You breathe a word

about us to the feds,

we will hunt you down.

Uh, my lips are sealed,

Mr. Accountant.

Let me get your bag.

- Boys! What's up, fellas?

- Lonnie-boy!

- Hey.

- All right, you ready to go?

Packed?

You got everything?

Let me get this off my chest.

I've hosted superstars,

I've hosted billionaires,

I've hosted kings,

and they ain't got nothing...

I said they have nothing on the

Flatbush Four, you hear me?

Nothing. And I remember,

I heard this beautiful quote.

It was, uh...

"Ain't nothing in this world

that's deeper than loyalty and love,

except for loyalty and love

between thugs. "

Fifty-Cent, man!

Fifty!

Hey, Lonnie, get a limo

for our buddy here and take him

out to the airport to

meet his friends.

Thank you.

Great party.

- Let's go, wise guy, come on.

- Let's go.

Okay, gentlemen.

Who wants a drink?

Drink?

Oh, man, where the hell

did you find that?

- Found it in the garbage.

- Crack that puppy open, buddy.

It's about time.

Ah, perfect, yeah. Okay.

Okay, so, uh,

here's to being invincible.

Invincible.

- Invincible.

- Invincible.

- Jeez.

- Terrible!

- Water.

- I gotta go brush my teeth.

It can't go bad. It's Scotch.

It's not so bad.

All right, Paddy,

I think you and I go in

and... that way.

Sam, you go in and that way.

And I go that way.

- Okay.

- Okay.

So, uh, hell of a weekend.

Yeah. Yeah.

- That's for sure. Heh.

- Heh.

- You think?

- Yeah.

Yeah, next year...

...Disney World.

Myrtle Beach.

- Uh, Poconos.

- The Poconos.

Yeah, that's supposed to be nice.

- Atlantic City.

- Atlantic City?

But it's gotta be summer.

Kayaking in Norway.

Or the Orient Express.

We could take a barge

through the canals of, uh...

- France.

- France, Europe, Germany.

You guys are the best thing

that ever happened to me.

Yeah.

I don't care how

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