Last Weekend Page #2

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Um...

I'm... I'm so tired of my life

being safe.

Mm-hmm.

But this house...

They don't make houses

like this anymore.

Mm-mm.

I-I don't know who else

deserves to live here.

Remind me why we're here again?

What were we going to do...

Spend the weekend in Westwood?

Oh, you...

- Oh, really?

- Yeah.

Oh, okay.

I get it.

Theo Green.

So high school friend

wants a movie deal.

Is it any good?

Have you even read it yet?

Don't be a brat.

Theo just sent it to me

a few weeks ago.

I mean, what do you do

when you're staying

at someone's house,

eating their food, and you have

to critique their work?

Well, what do you tell all

the other wannabe screenwriters?

Usually, I just say,

"It's good. It's great.

I'll get back to you

with notes,"

and then I just...

don't.

Well, at least wait

until the end of the weekend

to tell him how you feel.

Yeah.

Everything's gonna be all right.

I know.

Does Mom need any help?

Uh, don't worry about it.

You work hard.

You deserve to relax.

I guess that's the thing now,

Fridays off.

All the young people

take Fridays off in the summer.

It's Labor Day weekend, Dad.

I didn't take a Friday off

until I turned 50.

Well...

Does she need any help?

No, she said she had it

under control.

Ooh.

Ha-ha.

Where's everyone else?

Don't you have another, uh,

friend coming?

Blake and her guest

are arriving later.

Ooh.

I can't believe that you're

friends with Blake Curtis.

Why would she want to be friends

with a writer on her show?

Oh, shut up, Roger.

Isn't that like hanging out

with the help?

She likes the lines

that I write for her.

Well,

you certainly decided

to bring an entourage with you.

You used to bring your frat

buddies up here all the time.

- They were my brothers.

- Uh, actually, no.

I'm your brother.

Well, at least I don't bring

B-list TV actresses

whose ass I'm kissing.

I love Blake Curtis.

We watch The Boardroom

every Sunday.

You watch The Boardroom

every Sunday.

See, I have the unconditional

support of my family.

Should we try the lake?

Thought you said

it was freezing.

It'll turn your balls

into popcorn kernels.

- That's so funny.

- Mm-hmm-hmm.

Yeah, 'cause you already have

popcorn kernel balls.

Ow! Ow!

Stay away from my balls.

How'd you like it

if I did that to you?

Oh, he's so sensitive.

You gonna run and call Mom?

Roger,

Theo, Vanessa.

- How are you?

- Good, thank you.

Good, good, good.

Hector, this is Luke.

Oh, hey.

Hi.

Is everything

all right in there?

Yeah, it's great.

Um, you been having

a good summer?

Yeah.

Just shout if you need anything.

Thanks, Hector.

- See you.

- Nice to meet you.

I always feel like such a prick

for relaxing while he's on duty.

Roger, his job

is to take care of the house.

Why shouldn't you be allowed

to relax while he's working?

Thank you.

Mm.

That's nice.

Hey, what's up with the floor

in our bathroom?

I thought you said you were

gonna redo it in bamboo.

What floor?

I don't... I don't know

what you're talking about.

The bathroom floor

in the guest house,

the one with that nasty 1970s

linoleum you never replaced.

Oh, that.

Roger, bamboo is expensive.

I know it's sustainable,

but it didn't make sense

to spend the money when, uh...

When what?

Nothing.

Just when you're hardly

ever here.

We use the house all the time.

Oh, come on.

How many times did you

drive up here this summer?

The three holiday weekends,

right?

No.

It was more than that.

It was

the three holiday weekends.

Celia,

would you like a glass of wine?

Eh, just a splash.

I mean, you don't use the house

as much as you used to,

and you...

Thank you...

And your... your brother

is always in New York.

Do you want the guest house

to look like it's stuck

in some crappy, cheapo

time warp, or do you really...

Roger, that's enough.

I think you have

more important things

to concern yourself with

than renovating a bathroom.

What does that mean?

What she means

is that you and your brother

should be more concerned

with making money

than our spending it.

Do not bring me into this one.

I have to get dinner

on the table.

Oh, God.

I hope I got enough salmon.

It was on sale

at the supermarket,

but I only got five pounds.

You got fish on sale?

Why do you do that?

Roger, someday when you've

made enough money of your own,

you'll understand what it means

not to waste it.

Now, just start grilling,

please?

- Mmm.

- Mmm.

- Theo?

- Mm?

Where are Blake and her guest?

I set ten place settings.

Um, her friend got called in

on a last-minute shoot,

so it's just gonna be her.

I still think it's crazy that

Blake Curtis wouldn't have

somewhere better

to spend the holiday.

Get over it, Roger.

She likes hanging out with me.

Next we're gonna see you

in one of those magazines

as the unidentified friend

that she's having coffee with

while the paparazzi

snaps her photo.

Seriously, no peppering her

with questions

about what it's like

to be famous,

okay, Mom?

Oh, come on.

Give us a little credit, Theo.

We have celebrities

in San Francisco.

Celia, this table

looks really beautiful.

Does anybody want some of this?

I brought a FreshWater

variety pack.

It's fine.

We'll drink it tomorrow.

Uh, how is the salmon?

Did Roger overcook it?

- No.

- No, it's...

- No, hey...

- No, it's really good.

It's good.

Thanks.

Oh, I almost forgot.

This meal was designed

according to a special diet

I just read about,

and you don't count calories

or fat or cholesterol or...

- This is good.

- What do you count?

Carbon emissions.

It's not funny.

It's all about CO2 emissions.

Every food item

has a number of points

depending on where it came from,

how it was transported,

whether it was local

or from South America or...

Yeah, they started doing that

at our food co-op.

- Oh.

- Thank you, Sean.

- See?

- Sure.

Food co-op.

Um, so, what's the point count

for this meal?

Mm.

I don't actually remember.

I think...

Maria, what was it?

It was 345,

unless you count the bread.

Mm.

Oh, you know, it's...

it's tricky.

The bread is from a bakery

in town,

but they wouldn't tell me

if their flour

was local or from farther away,

and the other ingredients,

they didn't know about those,

either,

which is really quite shocking,

so if you don't eat the bread,

you're at 345.

And, um, is 345 good or bad?

What does it matter?

It's somewhere in the middle...

I think.

Another crusade

fought theoretically.

What would the world do

without women like your mother?

Everyone,

happy Labor Day weekend.

- Cheers.

- Cheers. Cheers.

Thank you for having us.

We're so pleased

to have you here.

- Yeah.

- Absolutely.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

Glad to have you here.

Hey, guys.

Everyone, everyone.

Dad,

Blake doesn't drink alcohol,

so don't offer her any wine.

She doesn't like to drink?

No, Dad, she is a recovering

alcoholic and an addict.

She can't drink.

Not even one glass?

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