Last Weekend Page #3

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What a shame.

Oh, a drug addict?

- Imagine.

- Okay, Mom.

You don't have to make

a big deal out of it.

Jesus Christ.

Does everyone have enough wine?

Drink up while you can.

Mom.

Oh, hey!

Hi.

Oh, my goodness.

I made it.

I survived.

Oh, my God.

You have no idea.

What, did she ride a donkey

from New York or something?

Thank you so much.

Wow.

Sorry I'm late.

- It's okay.

- I'm so sorry.

Hello.

Thank you so much

for having me, Mrs. Green.

- Thank you.

- Oh, uh, Celia, please.

Let me introduce everyone.

This is Malcolm, my husband.

Hi.

- Nora, Sean, Luke...

- Mm-hmm.

Roger, my other son,

and Vanessa.

Hi.

- And you know Maria, of course.

- I do, yes.

I'll bring the bags

up to your room.

Thank you.

Thanks so much.

Um, oh, and I have, uh,

a little bit of something.

- Oh.

- Thank you.

- Oh.

- Look at that smile.

She's such a dirty star f***er.

Um, I would love a shower

if that's okay?

- Yeah, sure. I'll...

- Yeah?

- I'll take you up to your room.

- Great.

- Okay, all right.

- Come on.

- Ooh.

- She's sweet and...

She is so much smaller

than I thought she would be.

Oh, actors always are.

I thought she'd be

more top-heavy.

That's not what I meant.

You know, I had

the most incredible breasts

when I was 23.

I-I didn't even have

to wear a bra.

- Eh.

- It's true.

Wow.

Now she's gonna show you

pictures of your honeymoon

in Saint-Tropez.

I think I have

some of those pictures.

I know I do.

You okay?

You all right?

I'm sorry,

I just... I can't...

No, I can't breathe.

- Give him some water.

- He's choking.

Does anybody know the Heimlich?

- Jesus.

- Here, take... take some water.

You want some water?

Oh, my God,

his neck is all... is all red.

Is he allergic to the salmon?

Uh, we need... we need that...

that allergy thing,

that thing you bought...

I don't know if I still have it.

- I don't remember.

- Well, did you use it?

- I'm not sure. I don't know.

- Well, let... let's look for it.

- All right.

- Here.

- Get him some water.

- Drink some water.

- Have you used it?

- Of course not.

I didn't use it.

I just don't know where it is.

It's so messy under here.

I keep meaning to reorgan...

Roger!

Roger, please don't make

such a mess.

- Well, at least help me.

- All right, all right.

Tampons?

What are these doing here?

Oh, Mom, come on.

Focus.

You have to find it.

Well, it could be anywhere.

I mean, does he really need it?

That needle is expensive.

$75.

I mean, what if someone gets

a bee sting this weekend?

Would you like him

to die instead?

No, of course not.

Oh, here it is.

Take it.

Whoa, what...

what are you doing?

Luke's having an allergic

reaction to something.

- I've got to give him this.

- What?

Wait, well, do you know

what you're doing?

Allergic to what?

Local discount salmon, I guess!

Roger's coming.

You're gonna be fine.

He's got the medicine, okay?

Oh, oh, my God.

- Okay.

- Mm.

Oh!

- Count to 15.

- Ten seconds.

It says to rub the puncture

area after.

On three, two, one.

Be careful with that.

Someone could get hurt.

Are you okay?

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, can you breathe?

Yeah.

- You feeling better?

- You poor thing.

Have you ever eaten salmon

before?

Mom!

No, I haven't had it that much.

See, there you go.

Okay, Mom, what does it

matter, okay?

- All right.

- Come on, let's go inside.

- You okay?

- Yeah.

Okay, come on.

Can you walk?

Ah, I'm sorry, everybody.

I...

That's okay.

Oh, my God.

You.

Come with me.

Do not speak to me.

- Come with me now.

- Take your hand...

- Take your hands off me.

- Then walk by yourself.

- What is your problem?

- Into the house.

Roger, do not speak to me

that way.

Now what?

What's wrong?

- Want some water?

- Okay.

He couldn't breathe

from your meal.

Are you out

of your f***ing mind?

Oh, you are so rude.

You know nothing

about these sorts of things.

Do you know how many bee stings

happen up here?

He... he didn't have

a bee sting, Mom!

- And I might need this.

- He was suffocating!

Theo, she wasn't gonna look

for the medicine.

She said that it was

too expensive to use.

Roger is misrepresenting

the situation.

You're joking.

I go inside for five minutes,

and my boyfriend almost dies.

- Theo, darling, please.

- Shh.

We'll talk about this later.

I don't want the kid

to find out.

It's just in the middle

of this dinner

I've prepared for you,

my mind is in a thousand places.

Mom, this isn't for us.

It's for you.

That's...

That's not true.

It's not.

Malcolm, can you believe this?

I think what everyone needs

to do is just calm down.

I'm gonna go back

and finish dinner.

I...honestly, Mom,

you're embarrassing.

Well...

They're boyfriends now.

That's nice.

Why don't you go back outside?

No.

I want to have dessert

by the fire.

Maria.

But I've always wanted

to redecorate this house.

We... we never really decorated

in the first place.

Our life was much simpler

back then.

Hmm.

We bought some furniture

from a shop in town.

It was already upholstered.

Now it's six-month lead time

and custom everything.

You can't buy a chair

for under $10,000.

Christ, Mom.

You sound like Veronika Goss.

Decorating is the single thing

I have in common

with that woman,

though I can't stand

her ridiculous taste.

Who are we talking about?

Oh, the people

who live next door,

the Gosses.

They moved into this beautiful

gem of a house.

Oh.

And then they tore it down

and built that thing

they're living in now.

We had to put up

with construction next door

for two summers in a row.

Who needs 3 bedrooms when

you can have 16 bedrooms?

Forgive me for asking,

but how do the Gosses

make their money?

Air-conditioning.

- Hmm.

- Yes, I know.

No more less genteel than us.

We make exercise equipment.

They make air-conditioning.

The funny thing, of course,

is that they bought

a vacation house

in the one part of the country

that you don't need

air-conditioning.

It's typical, this sort

of nouveau riche thing.

Mom, aren't we

kind of nouveau riche?

Your father has been successful

since before you were born.

He didn't make his money

yesterday, inventing,

I don't know,

some website or something.

It's those types of people

who are our neighbors now.

This area's crawling

with venture capitalists

and dot-commers all building

their mega mansions.

That must be good

for the local economy.

No, it's immigrants that

provide most of the workforce...

mainly Hispanics.

Drives up the crime rate.

Malcolm.

I read it in the paper.

Burglaries, rapes, even murders.

I certainly don't want

to be raped.

Does anybody want another drink?

Yes, please.

What about Hector and Maria?

Hector and Maria

are not like the others.

Remember the crew

that worked on the boathouse?

Yeah.

They cleaned us right out.

First it was a case of beer.

Then it was the tools.

I'm gonna go help Maria.

Malcolm.

I should go.

Oh, no, save that piece.

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