Laughing Heirs Page #2

---

was a real mensch.

Because he was...

- a mensch.

- Right.

And that's...

What more cou Id you say about someone

than...

he was a mensch?

He always said we should be happy.

- Right!

- That's true.

Remember how he used to come

and drink us all under the table?

And then he'd go up the stairs

all by himself,

holding his head high.

Yes, I remember!

- Peter!

- Yes?

The family...

Oh, yes, I guess I'd better be going.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

To keep us waiting like this!

To treat us like this,

it's outrageous!

Let's start without him.

I've never seen the likes of it.

I may be an unreasonable fellow,

but this is unheard of!

I've heard of young men

kept waiting by their elders,

but never of a young man

keeping his elders waiting!

After all, death is no trifling matter.

I mean, one doesn't die every day,

and we want to get on with things!

Well?

Where is he, the you ng... nephew?

He's outside.

What is he doing there?

He has business to take care of.

What business?

How could it be business, outside?

Business, that's all.

It's just awful, Mr. Peter...

He hasn't eaten

since Mr. Bockelmann died.

Well...

Not a thing, in three days.

Now, Rolf, you're a big dog, right?

We all have to get over it.

Now grit your teeth and eat, okay?

Marie, give me that.

Here, doggie. Good, huh?

You see, that wasn't so hard.

One bite for Uncle...

One for Marie...

One for Weinhppel...

Is he eating, Peter?

Yes, he's eating!

Thank God, he's eating!

- Who's eating?

- The dog.

He's feeding the dog,

at a moment like this!

Unbelievable!

He still hasn't realized

that life isn't a game.

Britta, where are you?

In the dining room!

Put that down!

He hasn't realized that life is serious.

Right!

Hello.

Hello.

Come... sit!

You come here with that gluttonous dog?

Disgusting!

Justus!

Justus, for heaven's sake!

You be quiet! That's enough!

Would you begin, Mr. Weinhppel?

Oh, right, the will...

Just a minute.

Marie, the gramophone!

What's that?

You want to play music to this?

In that case, I'd have to protest

in all seriousness and due form.

That's really the limit!

So, I'II let you speak for yourself,

my dear friend, Clemens Bockelmann.

Assmanshausen, January 18, 1922.

I shall read my last will and testament,

as attested by Dr. Weinhppel.

My dear family...

Dear Gustav, dear Otto,

dear Sophie, dear Friedchen,

etc. Etc...

If God wants to punish someone,

he gives them the likes of you

for relatives.

But today, now that I 'm dead,

I'd have been glad to see you,

for the first time in my life.

U n believable, even now that he's dead

he has to annoy us.

- Justus...

- Yes?

You 're the worst:

Always going on about temperance,

though you know perfectly well

your wife likes to tipple.

Clemens, you ' re going too far!

You 're all equally dear to my heart.

I see each one of you before me,

mourning me,

while at the same time appraising

each piece of furniture

for its cash value.

My beloved family...

You are all so virtuous,

so steadfast, so firm

in your moral convictions

that nothing could happen to you.

Only one of you needs

the support provided by an inheritance,

and th us one of you

shall receive everything, namely...

my nephew P eter Frank, the rascal.

Wel I, we may as we I I leave, then.

Yes, I guess so.

My dear Peter...

When I took over the winery,

Bockelmann Assmanshausen was small

and Stumm Biebrich was big.

All my life I worked hard

to beat our strongest competitor.

My final wish is that you bring

this rivalry to a satisfactory end,

for I think it is foolish to make life

unnecessarily unpleasant for oneself.

But to prove to your relatives that,

though you appreciate a good wine

every bit as much as I do,

you are by no means a drinker,

you shall inherit my estate

only if you comply with one condition.

You 're not allo wed to drink

a drop of alcohol for a whole month.

No wine, no beer.

Not e ven your Lickersteiner Krnzchen.

Ah a!

Shh! That's how we' II get him!

That's not so easy, I know.

But show us you can stick with it.

Weinhppel will keep a watchful eye

on you, along with my good dog, Rolf.

In case this condition is not fulfilled,

I have deposited alternate provisions

with the notary.

Well, then...

Enjoy yourself.

You don 't have to wear black.

P ull yourself together...

T ake care...

Farewell.

Than k you.

Come.

Here's to you.

Wh at is it? Oh, I see.

Yes, he's a clever dog, isn't he?

Yes.

Well, wasn't I right to say

you should stay till today?

That was quite a surprise.

Where are all my dear relatives?

Packing up to go back home.

Hurry, the train leaves in ten minutes!

Bye!

The train goes in ten minutes!

- Goodbye!

- Goodbye!

Go on, hu rry!

Don't want to miss you r train!

How many ch ildren these people have!

Dreadful!

Tell her to wash your neck!

Goodbye!

You already had one this morning.

Goodbye.

Oh, now August, it's all right.

But it was a mean thing to do!

Well, yes...

But don't worry,

we'II look after your interests.

Bye!

Bye! Thank God they're gone.

Look after their interests? How?

Leave it to me.

I'II think of a way to trick the lad.

Why, Peter! Not in bed yet?

How about a nice glass of wine?

A glass of wine?

That's over with.

What do you mean?

No more drin king, so lock everything up

and h ide the key, okay?

I mustn't find a drop of alcohol

in the house.

You must be joking.

Now you've become a teetotaler?

I'm not joking.

Believe me, I'm serious.

I'm not allowed a drop

for the next four weeks.

Boy, am I thirsty!

- Twelve.

- Hear that?

Hear that, my boy?

It's the stroke of midnight.

From now on, you're dry as a bone.

I know. I'II manage.

One month.

Four weeks without alcohol.

Four weeks. That's 30 days.

Let me think, that's...

30 times 6 times 4...

That's 720 hours.

720 hours.

Why, do nights count, too?

Yes, nights count double, actually.

I see.

- I have...

- What's the matter?

Over here. No! What's this, now?

Mr. Weinhppel...

For when you leave,

here's the front door key.

Lock up and put it under the rock.

Under the rock.

I'm going to bed, I'm tired.

Good night.

Yes, good night...

but I'm staying here.

Why are you staying here?

I have to keep an eye on you.

- What? At night?

- Sure.

After all, you can drink at night

as well as during the day, can't you?

Yes. AII right, then.

Come, give that to me.

That's disgusting.

- Disgusting.

- Let's go to bed.

Leave that here.

Yes, let's go to bed.

Well, then.

Are you a restless sleeper?

When I've had my ration,

I sleep like a baby.

Oh, Justus...

This is just awfu I, really.

Can't you get to sleep at all?

How can I fall asleep

if you keep asking me if I can't sleep

just when I'm about to fall asleep?

Why don't you count sheep?

Then you'II be asleep in no time.

10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100.

No.

See, nothing helps.

No, that won't work.

You have to count slowly.

One... two... three...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes