Laws of Attraction

I mean that if

you made more effort,

you may get a man

to ask you out.

I don't want a man

to ask me out.

You know, 80% of women

who say they are too busy

to have a relationship,

are really Ionely,

Audrey.

You know, I don't

feel the need to date

just to stay on the right

side of a survey.

- And it's bad for your skin.

- What?

My skin is always better

when I'm dating.

You're never not dating.

And just look

at my complexion.

- You, on the other hand...

- I, on the other hand,

have stopped having

this conversation.

Oh my God, is this it?

It's an extraordinary

townhouse

with a total floor space

of 9,000 square feet,

not including the garden.

May I ask what you do?

It depends on the occasion.

And your friend?

I'm just along for the ride.

This view

of the dining room

was recently featured

in Manhattan Interiors Magazine.

Oh. What was

hanging there?

Uh, John Sargent.

Yeah, Mr. Harrison has

an amazing art collection.

Too bad none of it

comes with the townhouse.

Now if you'll

follow me this way.

Now this ceiling

was actually handcrafted

by the great-grandson

of Charles Thorpe.

That wasn't cheap.

I guess it pays to be

the emperor of infomercials.

Mr. Harrison made $30 million

off "The Hair Houdini" alone.

That much?

Oh my God.

Now if you'll follow me

to the main bedroom.

Know what, Sara? I don't think

this is the place for you.

It's kind of...

cramped.

- Cramped?

- Well, it was all I could think of.

Besides, I had

everything I needed.

So, the Sargents

in the dining room are gone,

the Cassatt

in the living room

has been replaced

by a lithograph,

number 139 of 150 run.

Over the grand piano is a framed poster

of the East Hampton Film Festival.

Somewhat less valuable than the Sisley

that was hanging there,

and whatever those

monstrosities are in the hallway...

if they're Francis Bacon,

I'm a Jimmy Dean sausage.

Yes, sir...

Mr. Harrison's scam

is going to unravel

and I will get

millions off him.

But for someone else.

See, that's the part I don't get.

- Where's the pleasure?

- Winning.

- Thanks for today, Mom.

- Shh... Audrey.

I've asked you not to use

that word in public!

That two-faced,

lying son-of-a-bastard!

Mary, you know

I don't like spouse bashing.

This happens all the time.

He may have hidden them, sold them...

we'll find out.

Luckily, I've dealt

with Tom Hoffman,

the opposing counsel,

in similar situations.

He's a good lawyer,

but I'm wise to his game.

Hmm.

What does this mean?

Is it bad?

No, it doesn't

mean anything.

It just means that your husband

has a hired a new attorney, that's all.

His name is

Daniel Rafferty.

- I've never heard of him.

- Me neither.

He's new in town.

- This makes me nervous.

- Oh, relax.

You have nothing

to worry about.

A new attorney who has

never practiced in New York

will never get up to speed

this late in the game, okay?

You have nothing

to worry about.

I have never

lost one of these.

It's fine, it's fine.

It's okay.

It's not a problem.

It's okay, everything's okay.

You're all right.

Okay.

Ready?

That's Gary's

new attorney?

Audrey Woods.

I'm representing Mrs. Harrison.

- Audrey Woods.

- Right, for Mrs. Harrison.

I've heard good things.

That felt nice,

by the way.

I realize you're just starting

to familiarize yourself with the case,

but I wanted to make you

aware that... what?

Er, you got a little...

right here.

Uh, thank you.

Anyway, as I was saying,

um, it has come to our attention

that certain assets

accumulated, uh...

accumulated during the marriage

have not been accounted for,

so I have come

to what I believe

is an accurate estimate of the...

of the missing...

Snoball.

I don't settle.

I didn't mention settling.

Unless of course

you'd like to give me uh...

let me see...

...this.

Which is what I'll earn

for this trial... plus expenses.

Then we've got something

to talk about.

- You must be joking.

- Gave it a shot. Good luck.

Ms. Woods, is it?

- Hey, Daniel.

- Good morning. Good morning.

Good news...

opposing counsel's insane.

All rise.

532 is now in session.

Please be seated

and come to order.

Judge Abramovitz

divorced... horribly.

Very tough on men.

Good morning,

ladies and gentlemen.

Mr. Rafferty,

I see you're back

on the East Coast.

I told you the California sun

is hard on the skin.

Yes, but, uh, I did moisturize

as per your instructions, Your Honor.

I'll hear opening arguments.

Your honor, I would like

to move for a continuance.

It's come to our attention

that discrepancies exist

concerning the reporting of assets...

namely, several valuable works of art.

Uh, may I interject,

Your Honor?

Uh, you mean, um, paintings,

sculpture, that kind of stuff?

Exactly.

Paintings like this?

Actually, yes.

Like this, uh, Sisley

or this Morisot?

And what have we here?

Oh, John Sargent.

Yes, not my kind of thing.

If I was him, I would have

given them away too.

Which is exactly

what Mr. Harrison did.

All of these.

A while ago.

Anonymously, of course,

to a very prominent museum.

I'm surprised that Mrs. Harrison didn't

tell you about this, Ms. Woods.

See, her, uh, signature's

on the donation document.

Right there.

Oh, uh, that reminds me,

Your Honor,

um, I'd like to move

for a continuance.

I've just been retained

as Mr. Harrison's counsel,

and I haven't had time

to fully research

all aspects of the case.

For instance,

I have a um...

a receipt here...

for six 28-day stays

at the Piney Woods rehab center

for Mrs. Harrison's

treatment of sexual addiction.

I'd like to get

to the bottom of that.

- I'll give you one week.

- Thank you, Your Honor.

Six months

for sexual addiction?

My therapist

was very good.

We have to talk.

It's not my fault

that Mary Harrison

has the IQ

of a dinner plate.

I'd have found out that

Harrison disposed of the art.

I mean, that's why

I asked for the continuance.

It's just that this Rafferty

guy beat me to it.

You want him dead?

- Oh, Mother.

- I meant socially.

I don't know, I've never been

up against anyone like him.

He's very un... something.

I can't tell if he just

got lucky or he's...

really, really good.

- Maybe he's both.

- Thank you, Mother.

What are you eating?

Vegetables.

- Is this Rafferty guy cute?

- I didn't notice.

Besides, he's not your type.

He's old enough to drive.

Quick, Channel 6.

...In court today

were opening arguments

in the divorce

of Gary "Gadget" Harrison.

- Channel 6, Mom.

- Harrison is being sued...

...at stake...

a reported $97 million.

We caught up with Harrison's

attorney Daniel Rafferty

earlier today

outside the courthouse.

Well, we do feel

that Mrs. Harrison's

monetary demands

are outrageous.

After all,

it's Mr. Harrison's products

that come with a money-back guarantee,

not Mr. Harrison.

That's incredible. He just got into town

and he's already working the press.

- And you didn't notice if he's cute?

- Shh, call me later.

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