Laws of Attraction Page #2

Quite frankly, after

this morning's opening...

She takes after her father.

The prenuptial

will stand as agreed.

Mrs. Harrison's case has

about as much chance as a...

uh, snowball in hell.

Okay, Mr. Rafferty...

I accept.

Why am I not surprised?

Hello?

Mr. Rafferty?

Hello?

Thanks, Benny.

Anymore arrive, just put them

outside my door, okay?

- Oh... oh, uh!

- Hey.

Oh, sorry.

Pardon me.

- Wait, wait, I'm walking here!

- Hey, you looking to die, lady?

And very kindly stepping in

at the last minute for Erin Swedland,

one of New York's

most successful attorneys;

first in her class at Yale, and partner

at Katz, Cohen & Phelps...

Audrey Woods.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Small world, eh?

And another counselor kind enough

to step in at the last minute.

Some say there's

method in his madness.

Some say

madness is his method.

He's practiced in Chicago,

Boston, Los Angeles.

And I guess practice

makes perfect...

because he's never

lost a case.

The "late"

Daniel Rafferty.

Mmm.

Do you always look

like an unmade bed?

Uh-oh.

You've either taken

an immediate dislike to me

for some inexplicable reason,

or you're flirting with me.

- Which is it?

- I'll give you hint.

You're getting warm

with the first one.

- What was the second one again?

- What are you doing here?

At least you could be

a bit more grateful.

Grateful for what?

Well, my old friend Lyman over there

needed a replacement.

He asked me if I knew

an interesting lawyer.

I happen to think

you're very interesting.

- You?

- Mmm.

- Please welcome our first panelist...

- I'm here because of you?

...Audrey Woods.

You're up.

So my advice to you is

divorce doesn't

have to be agony.

Look at it as a chance to examine

the complex emotional labyrinth

that is the human relationship.

- Well done, well done.

- Thanks, Ms. Woods, very enlightening.

- Like a nibble?

- You raise some interesting points.

No?

And now, let's hear

from Daniel Rafferty.

Mmm, that's me.

Any sno-bits?

Hi.

Thank you very much.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

Ah, wonderful speech,

Ms. Woods.

But, uh, this is

the way I see it.

Lawyers are scum.

Divorce lawyers though...

are the fungus

growing beneath the scum.

Divorce is the post mortem

of a dead marriage.

We represent people who have

suddenly discovered a passion

for a fight that they never

knew they had in them.

Where was that

passion and fight

when it was needed

to save the marriage?

Hmm?

Don't ask.

It's not our jobs.

Everyone loves gadgets.

And the way divorce

is going these days,

you're going to get

a chance to use them.

State-of-the-art stuff

for tracking the philandering husband

or the unfaithful wife.

For instance,

a camera this small

can take a picture...

this big.

Amazing, isn't it?

Don't you think

the clarity is wonderful?

I'm sure you people at the back can see

all the roses on our suspect's scarf.

No longer do we have to rely

on crude convenient store video.

With digital capability,

we can dispose

of 20 closed-circuit systems

and achieve optimum

picture quality.

Now I'm sure the person...

there didn't realize

that they were being

caught in the act.

Wouldn't you agree?

Remember, none of us

are in divorce law for love.

I think you like him.

Like him?

Are you crazy?

Sure, but I'm also

your mother...

when we're

not in public.

I know, it's a little painful,

but I can see results already.

I have the lower lids

of a teenager. Oh!

Okay, one that's been thrown through the

windshield, but a teenager nevertheless.

I didn't sleep a wink

because of that guy.

Don't worry, I'm going to catch him

with his guard down,

and then kick him

in the body part of my choosing.

Just be careful,

you've never lost a big case.

Well, neither has he.

And that's just irresistible.

- Mother!

- I'm sorry.

That's it.

I'll apologize.

To Rafferty? Why?

You haven't done anything wrong.

Exactly. So it'll be

the last thing he's expecting.

It's the perfect strategy.

A sincere apology

is just a manipulating tactic,

like... like forgiveness,

or generosity.

He'll fall for it.

He's not from New York.

You are so adorable

when you're going for the kill.

Hi.

I came to apologize.

Oh... you're

bothering to knock.

Don't you usually just

break and enter?

Hysterical. And I didn't

break and enter.

If you review

your surveillance tape...

you know, just how paranoid

are you by the way?

You'll notice

that your office was open

and my intention

was to have a meeting.

My apology

is for any confusion.

Oh.

I don't know what to say.

"Come in" would be nice.

Come in.

Actually, you're lucky I don't sue you

for injuries sustained

when I picked up

those file boxes.

I cite "Gibbon v. Masters... treacherous

conditions in the workplace."

You, uh, sustained an injury?

I broke a nail.

Open your present.

Oh, look at that.

Very nice.

I thought you'd enjoy

owning one without a stain.

Interesting presumption.

You gave a very good speech

yesterday, by the way.

Very provocative.

The, uh, "butter wouldn't melt"

guide to divorce.

I take the high road.

I use the law,

not cheap theatrics.

Okay.

Meeting's a good idea.

So let's get on with it.

Excuse me?

Let's meet over dinner.

And since you initiated it,

protocol dictates that you should

take me, don't you think?

Yes, of course.

Or... we could eat here.

I have Snickers.

Hello, Leslie,

would you book my table

- at the Four Seasons, please?

- No, no, no, no, no.

My choice. Bye, Leslie.

All right,

as long as it isn't outside.

There's a 65%

chance of rain tonight.

There's a low-pressure system

coming out of the Northwest.

I watch the Weather Channel.

Could you be more fascinating?

# De Colombia

# CuI caf

se va a servir? #

# Rico fro

y culto es Ud. #

# Qu expresito

quiere beber? #

Ah, dos huevos de chivo,

por favor.

Huevos de chivo?

With the huevo?

Oh, s.

God, I love this place.

It's so romantic, no?

- No.

- Oh.

So what was

all this high-morality,

passion-within-a-marriage

crap you were spouting?

Well, don't you ever

just want to slap your clients,

tell them to go home

and sort it out?

Actually, no, I don't.

Each case I handle

convinces me further

that marriage

is dead in the water.

I see.

- I see?

- Yep.

- That's it? You see?

- Yes, I do.

I see a lot.

Are you dating anyone?

You see a lot...

am I dating anyone?

- What kind of a segue is that?

- I don't think you are.

Ohh, this is what you see.

You see that I couldn't

be dating anyone?

I could be dating, mister.

Trust me, okay?

I could be dating

a whole big deal.

I could be lobbying

for a 12-day week,

I'm dating so much, okay?

Oh, what is this?

What is this, "arms in the air,

I rest my case" thing?

- What is that?

- You're not dating. Why not?

- Okay, since you ask...

- You're beautiful...

- what is dating anyway?

- Intelligent.

- It's trial marriage.

- I'm eating with the most beautiful...

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