LBJ Page #3

...than fight for control of the government

as leader of the Senate.

We can't be the only ones

who think this is a bad idea.

Well, as it turns out, you might not be

because he hasn't accepted it yet.

George, look into this, will you?

Yes, sir.

Yeah. Hello there. Is majority leader here?

- Sir?

- Gentlemen...

...can you give us a minute?

Listen, I...

I think you should decline the offer.

Say it was an honor to be considered,

but your duty is to the Senate.

I think we could have a much more

effective partnership with you...

...in your role as majority leader.

Is this what your brother thinks?

Do you really want this job?

It's too small for you.

Did Senator Kennedy ask you

to relay this message?

No, sir, I am here on my own.

Okay, well,

I will take that tidbit of wisdom...

...under advisement.

Thank you, Bobby.

- What'd he want?

- What do you think he wanted?

He may be right.

If you run with Kennedy and lose,

you're giving up your Senate seat too.

- No, he won't.

- What do you mean?

He can run for both offices.

Not at the same time.

- We changed the law.

- When?

- When I asked them to.

- I have that number for you, sir.

- What'd you find out?

- Ten of 36.

Okay, talk to me.

It's a thankless job.

Yeah, well, so is being school teacher

in Blanco County, Texas.

Ten of 36?

Of the 36 men who have been vice president...

...10 have gone on to become president.

Kennedy loses, the majority leader will be

the most powerful Democrat in the country.

Kennedy wins,

the majority leader will still be...

...the most powerful Democrat in Congress.

There's just no power in the vice presidency.

Walter, how long you been with me?

Twenty-one years.

And in 21 years, can you think of a time

that I have taken over a new office...

...and not made it 100 times

more powerful than when I got there?

No, sir.

Power is where power goes.

Should be at the Trade Mart in 15.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

- Yes, sir.

- They love him.

They believe in him.

They know the president's civil rights law...

...is gonna change everything.

The president doesn't have

a civil rights law.

He has a civil rights bill.

I have faith in my heart.

And sh*t for brains.

Kennedy has been elected president...

...by one of the smallest margins

in electoral history...

...with nearly 70 million votes cast.

The president-elect defeated Richard Nixon...

...by approximately 112,000 votes.

The new vice president, Lyndon Johnson...

...fought hard in his home state of Texas

to deliver the White House...

...for the 35th president

of the United States:

John Fitzgerald Kennedy.

And from earlier today,

here is President John F. Kennedy...

...delivering his inaugural address.

All this will not be finished

in the first 100 days.

Nor will it be finished

in the first 1000 days.

- After we unpack...

- Nor in the life...

- ...what is first on the agenda?

- ... of this administration.

Nor even perhaps in our lifetime

on this planet.

But let us begin.

- Juanita, dear?

- Yes, sir?

I wanna write a letter.

"I hereby request

that the State Department...

...the Defense Department

and the Central Intelligence Agency...

...cooperate fully with the vice president."

Lyndon did not write that.

- That's his signature right there.

- Ha, ha, ha.

Oh, what, NASA too? He even requested

oversight of the space program?

Wants control of everything

from here to the moon.

I say we send it

to The Washington Post, right?

Publish it. Humiliate the bastard.

Last month, Johnson was the most

powerful Democrat in all of Washington.

Now he answers to my kid brother

and his Harvard roommate.

Nobody's gonna do anything

to embarrass my vice president.

- He embarrasses himself.

- Started calling himself LBJ...

...after FDR was elected.

Thought it sounded more presidential.

Well, he's no FDR, and he's no JFK.

He's Lyndon "I'll never be president

in a million years" Johnson.

I'm aware of your feelings. That's why

I'm putting Kenny in charge of him.

What?

Congratulations, Kenny. You're

my new liaison to the vice president.

I'm sorry, am I being punished for something?

He's a sensitive man with an enormous ego.

Your job is to placate him.

Now, I don't care if you have to kiss

his ass all over town in order to do it.

I can't have him causing problems for me.

I'm sure we can find something

to keep him occupied.

What the f*** is the PCEEO?

It's the "President's Committee

on Equal Employment Opportunity."

The president wants to ensure

all government agencies...

...and contractors exercise

fair hiring practices with regards to race.

It's his first major initiative

in civil rights.

Our Southern Democrats are gonna hate this.

No sh*t, and when this

trumped-up committee inevitably...

...fails to address

this country's civil rights problems...

...well, the rest of the Democrats

are gonna hate that.

So why the f*** am I busy alienating...

...every son of a b*tch in my party when...

...if I'm gonna make a run in '68...

...well, I'm gonna need people

to f***ing like me!

Shut the door.

- How could anybody not like him?

- Heh, heh, heh.

I had an idea.

Yeah, you know, when I was 13 years old...

...I was driving home with my daddy,

and I made some smart-ass comment...

...pissed him off,

he slammed on the brakes...

...tossed me out the truck,

told me I was walking home.

Well, it was hot as Hades,

six, seven miles to go...

...so I was feeling real bad for myself...

...when I look up, and I see

this old Chevy kicking up dust.

Pulls to a stop in front of me,

and this beautiful woman...

...with curly red hair, leans out

the window, smiles and says:

"Need a ride, son?"

Oh, yeah.

She had the biggest titties I ever saw...

...and I stared at them the whole ride home.

And I never would have seen them

if my daddy hadn't...

...punished me to begin with.

So, what are you saying?

When life gives you lemons,

you make lemonade?

No, George, I'm saying, sometimes,

you think the Lord is giving you lemons...

...and, in fact, he's giving you

big, beautiful titties.

So there's an upside to you being

appointed chairman to this committee?

Well, this damn civil rights issue is

gonna tear the Democrats in two.

We got rival camps

that are never gonna see eye to eye.

But as long as they're sitting

at the table...

...they're gonna need an interpreter.

And Kennedys don't speak Southern.

Southerners don't speak Kennedy.

I'm the only man who's fluent

in both languages.

Which side are you on?

You're missing the point.

As long as neither side declares

all-out war, both sides need me.

The best thing that can happen for me is

this civil rights debate goes on forever.

And how do we make that happen, sir?

Compromise, boys.

Endless compromise.

So chairman of the Equal

Employment Opportunities Committee.

Boy, those Kennedys must really hate you.

- Ha-ha-ha.

- Yeah, yeah.

- I drew the short straw on this one.

- I wouldn't worry about it.

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