Leatherheads Page #2

No.

Hey, kid, what position

did you play in high school?

Kicker.

- Kicker?

- What the hell?

Coach thought it'd be

the best position for me.

- Who's your coach?

- Math teacher.

Huddle up.

Hooked it.

God! Right in the...

Gus, look. You stand over here, next to

him, and you hit anybody that comes near him.

Anybody that comes near him!

Oh, I like him.

Dodge, I need to have a speech with you.

What do you mean folded?

Milwaukee can't fold.

They're broke, is what. Like

Akron. No money, no team.

We're broke, too.

- We're broke now? Our season just started!

- Look, we're broke, I'm telling you.

If you got no money to pay salaries,

no money to buy train tickets,

no money to rent a

field, then you're broke.

It's over, Dodge. It's time

to pack it up and go home.

The Starch King is gonna sell us

What's gonna happen to these guys?

I don't know.

And I thought the Milwaukee

game would turn it around,

what with Big Gus

coming on board for us.

Milwaukee got Joe Washburn

playing good, but...

Now there's no Milwaukee game.

It's finished.

Half these guys will probably

end up back in the mines.

This isn't exactly the cream

of America's work force.

They don't have a lot of options.

Sh*t!

I'll read you what he had to say.

"I regret to inform you

that Perennial Starch

"is hereby terminating our

sponsorship of the Duluth Bulldogs."

So that's it, fellas.

It's the end of the line for us.

This will be your last paycheque.

From here on out, you're on your own.

But I want to say what a privilege

it's been to coach you boys.

What you've done on the

field has been amazing.

Big Gus, I want to say to

you, son, thank you for coming.

- Name?

- Connelly.

Dodge Connelly.

- Age?

- 38.

How do you mean?

Are you a welder or a machinist

or a pipe fitter? You know, skills.

I got you.

Did you serve in the war?

- Yes.

- Well, you must have learnt a trade there.

Not one you'd like.

Mr Connelly, if you

have no trade skills,

how have you made a living

in the last 20 years?

- A cup of coffee. How much is coffee?

- 10 cents.

Here's 15. You keep it.

Now I can buy that

house I always wanted.

And while only halfway

through the Princeton season,

Carter "the Bullet" Rutherford has

piled on a whopping 14 touchdowns

and 720 yards.

We spoke to the Medal of

Honor winner after the game.

- Carter, how you feeling?

- Feel pretty good, Mac.

Their defence just kept coming at you,

but I figured I might get around them

if I just put my mind to it.

Guess I've learnt something

from dodging those Jerries.

And that's the kind of bravery

on display every Saturday, folks.

The kind of fearlessness that brings

in those fans by the thousands.

Some 40,000 people on

hand just last Saturday.

Now here's a little ditty

I'm sure you'll all know.

I'm trying to reach CC

Frazier. Do you know how...

Well, why can't you tell me?

Listen, my name's Connelly.

It's about football.

I've never heard of you, either, Miss.

No, what I... Hello?

Sheez!

- 'Cause I said I liked your dress?

- Stop saying that!

- It's true.

- It's boring.

- It's all I wanted to say.

- I'm starting to think it's all you can say.

- What's your name?

- Leonard.

Leonard, you better run along

before my fianc gets here.

He's far less tolerant of

your existence than I am.

There's no reason to be angry. I

was simply paying you a compliment.

Stop it. You're just acting like a big

baby 'cause you miss your mother's bosoms.

- My mother's what?

- Her bosoms, you goof!

You're substituting my

bosoms for your mother's.

- What? No, I'm not.

- Why not? What's wrong with my bosoms?

Honestly, Miss Littleton, we're in

public. The rules of etiquette apply.

Leonard, it's 1925. There are no rules.

Except that boys like you

are tedious until they're 40,

at which point they

become unbearably tedious.

- I didn't come over here to be insulted.

- No? Where do you usually go?

And don't think just 'cause

you haven't said anything

that I don't know what you're up to.

I'm talking to you, behind the magazine.

Don't you know I could have

you arrested for eavesdropping?

- Excuse me?

- Or are you really an avid reader

- of Ladies' Home Journal?

- I never miss an issue.

I see.

- Waiting for someone?

- I'm sorry, were you speaking to me?

No, just practising my American

accent. Of course I was speaking to you.

As a matter of fact, I

was waiting for someone.

- Who?

- A business associate.

A business associate.

So cryptic. So manly.

Clearly beyond the

comprehension of a feeble female.

If you say so.

What I want to know is why you

chose to come in here from the lobby,

where you obviously had business,

to sit next to me and

listen to my conversation?

Tell me. Or are you afraid to say?

I'm not afraid to say it.

I'm in love with Leonard.

Go ahead and laugh, everyone does.

We had something beautiful

until you came along.

You think you can just toss

him away like a sack of flour.

- That's funny.

- Hey, haven't you done enough?

No, really, who are you?

- What's your name?

- I'm Dodge.

- Dodge Connelly of Duluth, Minnesota.

- Lexie Littleton. Champaign, Illinois.

Hey, Lexie, what are

you doing for dinner?

You're a lot of fun, Mr Connelly,

and I'm sorry I'm not gonna

get to know you better,

but you should leave before my

fianc gets here. He's kind of big.

- I can handle myself.

- No, really, Mr Connelly.

Mr Connelly is buried next

to my mother. I'm Dodge.

- Dodge, it'd be better if you go.

- Better for whom?

Don't get familiar, Mr Connelly.

Just because we had a laugh

doesn't mean you know me.

- My apologies.

- Apology accepted.

But I do know you.

- You think so?

- Oh, yeah.

- Really?

- Yeah.

You're the kind of cocktail

that comes on like sugar,

but gives you a kick in the head.

The only thing you hate

worse than a guy making a play

is when a guy doesn't make a play.

Were you making a

play? I hadn't realised.

It might work on my Aunt Lurleen.

She's a little near-sighted.

There's an article on peach-canning

in here that I'm dying to get back to.

Well, I know you, too, Dodge Connelly.

You think you're the slickest

operator in Duluth, and maybe you are,

but being the slickest operator in Duluth is

kind of like being the world's tallest midget,

- if you ask me.

- It's too bad we know each other so well.

- We might have gotten along.

- Well, I'll live.

Alone.

Lexie?

Mr Frazier, Lexie Littleton.

I do apologise for keeping you waiting.

- So, where is this cute boyfriend of mine?

- Well, I thought he was behind me.

There he is now.

He finds it very difficult

moving around in public.

Carter.

Say, CC!

He loves his fans.

Carter, this is Miss Littleton of the

Tribune. She's doing a piece on you.

Well, that'll be fine.

- A pleasure, Mr Rutherford.

- Carter, Miss Littleton.

Lexie, Carter.

- Say, CC...

- There you are.

Could you bring the car

around? We're ready to leave.

- I don't think this gentleman works here.

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