Leave It to Beaver Page #2

all right.

But Karen and her family

were at the movies.

Can't you ever just

be happy for me? Hmm?

Mom, Dad, can we open the presents now?

Please, please, please, please.

June, you really should monitor

the boy's sugar intake.

Here we are.

- This one is from Gilbert!

- Oh, come on, Mrs. Cleaver.

Don't blame me, Beav.

It's a recycle.

I wouldn't wear it when I got it,

so my mom's giving it to you.

Well, that's

a lovely gesture, Gilbert.

Well, I guess that's it.

- No, Beaver. There's more.

- Really?

Wheel it out, Ward!

[ Together ]

Whoa!

Wow.

- A computer.

- From your Aunt Martha.

Thanks. Nothin' I like more

than an educational gift.

- Aw!

- [ Ward ] Well, Beav!

What more could

a boy ask for?

Yeah. I guess that's about all

a guy could ask for, huh?

I'm glad you feel that way, but your mom

and I wanted to get you something else.

[ Whistles ]

Wally!

[ Boys ]

Whoa!

Whoa!

Thanks, Mom! Thanks, Dad! You're the

bestest parents in the whole universe!

Whoa! Awesome!

Whoo!

Whoa!

- Bye, Dad. Bye, Mom.

- Here you go.

Bye.

- Bye, Mom.

- Good-bye.

- See ya, Dad.

- Oh, Wally, could you do us a favor?

I'll do my homework every day without

you guys havin' to crawl up my a--

That's great, Wally,

but we weren't really going there.

Beaver's never ridden his bike

to school before.

We were hoping you could go with him

the first few days.

- Show him the ropes.

- Oh! I get ya.

You just don't want some truck

turnin' the Beaver into road kill.

Something like that.

Yeah.

- See ya, Wal.

- Okay, Dad.

- [ Sighs ]

- [ Sighs ]

Well, there they go.

[ Chattering ]

- [ Bell Rings ]

- [ Chattering Stops ]

L-A-N-D-E-R-S.

I play tennis.

I like to travel.

And I enjoy curling up in front of the

fire with a big pile of book reports.

- Yes?

- Excuse me, Miss Landers.

- But how many N's are there in tennis?

- Two.

But you don't need to take notes.

You aren't going to be tested on this.

- I'd rather be safe than sorry.

- [ Gags ]

- [ Belches ]

- Then go right ahead.

Now, why don't you tell me

about your summer vacations?

- Susan Akatsu.

- Hi, Miss Landers.

This summer we went to Mount Rushmore,

and then my grandmother died,

but not at Mount Rushmore.

- Oh, Susan, I'm very sorry to hear that.

- Yeah!

Everyone was sad,

except my dad,

'cause she always said

he never made enough money.

Thank you, Susan.

Gilbert Bates.

Y o, I'm Gilbert. This summer,

my parents shipped me off to camp.

I caught impetigo, and when I got back,

my dad had moved out.

Only since then, he moved back.

But he's still sleepin' in my room,

and I'm sleepin' on the couch.

Thank you, Gilbert,

for being so candid.

Oh! And while I was away,

my cat got "runned" over.

[ Class ]

Ewww!

Uh, Theodore Cleaver.

- [ Snickering ]

- [ Laughing ]

Isn't that your name?

Yeah, but everyone calls me Beaver

on account of it's my nickname.

But you can call me

whatever you want,

'cause I don't wanna get you mad

and have you give me a bad grade.

Well, if it's okay with you,

I'll just call ya Theodore.

I got an awesome bike. My brother

snuck me into an "R" rated movie.

And I'm playin' football,

so I gotta wear a cup.

Thank you, Theodore.

Oh, and nobody

in my family died.

- Hey, Wally!

- Hey, guys!

- Ah, Wallace, how fortuitous.

- What do you want, Eddie?

Karen is in there with

a litter of her friends.

So? What you need me for?

I thought you'd want to be

a witness to history.

What's he talkin' about,

Wally?

It means he's too chicken to try and

scam on her by himself.

Hey, Lumpy, ain't you late

for your shrink appointment?

You promised you weren't

gonna tell anyone!

And you trusted me. Big mistake.

[ Laughing ]

Come on, Wally, a little help?

You're my best friend, right?

That's what you

keep tellin' me.

Ah, what a sport.

Hey, can't you read?

No dogs allowed.

Aw, come on, Eddie.

I'm supposed to be watchin' him.

This is for

mature audiences only.

Tie him up to a lamppost,

and we'll bring him a bowl of kibble.

Just wait here.

This won't take long.

[ Laughing, Chattering ]

[ Sniffs ]

[ Chattering ]

Man, I wish

I were that straw.

- Oh, my God.

- I'll do the talking.

You just stand there and

laugh and shake your head,

like, "Where the heck

does he come up with this stuff?"

Take another step and I'll file

a restraining order.

Easy. We come in peace.

Hey. Aren't you

Wally Cleaver?

Yeah. And I guess you

already know my friend Eddie?

We've never formally met.

Well, we just came

to say hi.

- See ya.

- You don't have to leave yet.

Don't you wanna sit down?

Really?

[ Humming ]

- Choice wheels.

- Thanks. I got it by lying to my dad.

You ridin' B.M.X., man?

Oh, no. I'm only

allowed on the sidewalk.

Oh, a flatlander.

Let me do some wheelin', huh?

- Y-You wanna ride it?

- Hey, thanks, dude!

Cool!

Where'd you learn

all that stuff?

It's a feel thing.

I got a few more tricks.

Cool!

Can you show me?

Yeah, sure.

I got one you'll never forget.

- Hey!

- Don't worry! I just need

to whip up a little torque.

[ Beaver ]

Awesome, dude!

Hasta la vista, baby.

Hey!

Hey!

Come back here! Hey!

[ Panting ]

So, did you feel

the electricity between us?

- You didn't say a word in there.

- Exactly!

A few sorrowful looks,

some well-placed grunts,

just like my man,

Brad Pitt.

[ Scoffs ]

Come on, Beav.

Let's go home.

- I can't.

- How come?

This cool guy came up

and wanted to show me...

these cool bike tricks,

and I let him ride my bide.

He did these cool bike tricks.

I thought it was pretty cool.

He wanted to show me another

trick, and I let him ride it.

Then he rode away and away

and never came back!

You got your

new bike jacked?

Beav, how could you

let that happen?

I guess it's cause he stole it

a little bit at a time.

Oh, man.

Thanks again

for the ride, Fred.

Don't worry. I won't let you forget it.

[ Laughing ]

- Well?

- I don't know.

But his hair looks kind of messed up,

like he's been yelled at all day.

You know, Beav, you may have

lucked out, after all.

- Yeah, it's pretty good.

- It's good, Mom.

- It's just delicious.

- Yeah, I cooked dinner.

- Would you pass the meat, please?

- Sure, Dad.

- June, you've outdone yourself.

This meat is outstanding.

- It's great, Mom.

Here you go.

Did you get some bread?

Beaver? Why are you

eating so fast?

So I can be excused.

Don't be in such a hurry.

Tell us everything you did today.

Everything?

Yes, tell us about

your first day of school.

Oh, yeah, school.

I rode my bike there.

My teacher's name is Miss Landers.

She was real nice, but they always are

on the first day so you don't freak.

Then the bell rang and I got on

my bike and left and, uh--

Now I'm talking to you.

May I be excused?

What about after school?

After school?

Uh, what did we do

after school, Wally?

Well, I picked him up on his bike,

just like you told me to.

And then we just did...

stuff.

Yeah, Dad, we did stuff.

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