Leave It to Beaver Page #3

Well, what kind of stuff?

Well-- Hey, Mom,

can I have some broccoli?

Are you sure that's all

that happened today?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Right, Beav?

Boys, there's something

bothering you, isn't there?

No, Dad.

Why do you say that?

Well, for one thing,

you hate broccoli.

All right, I'm going to ask you again.

This time I want an honest answer.

Did something happen that you

don't want us to know about?

Yes.

Well?

What was it?

I'm on the football team, and I'm going

to be a doctor, maybe even in Africa.

Beaver.

My bike got "stoled."

Stole?

How could this happen?

You've only had that bike

for five days!

Actually, it's only been four.

Dad, I'm sorry! Honest!

Well, "sorry" isn't gonna bring

back your bicycle, is it?

Or your Ken Griffey Junior

rookie card.

Or your Game Boy.

I'm not even gonna

mention the garage.

Ward, the garage

was not Beaver's fault.

All right, fine.

You're right, dear.

What bothers me is that you have no

respect for your personal possessions.

- Do you?

- No, sir.

- How can you say that?

- I thought that's what

you wanted me to say.

- Ward.

- This is another example

of what happens...

when you're not paying attention,

isn't that right, Wally?

But, Dad,

I didn't do anything.

Exactly. Weren't you supposed to be

looking after your brother today?

- Yeah--

- Well, where were you

when all this happened?

Inside the soda shop

havin' a shake with Eddie.

Oh! Fine! Fine!

We looked everywhere

for it, Dad!

We really expected

a lot more from you, Wally.

Boy, parents are weird, huh?

I mess up, and

they get even madder at you.

[ Groans ] Hey--

[ Groans ]

What did ya shove me for?

I'm sick of always

baby-sitting ya.

I'm sick of ya

following me around.

"Hey, Wally, can I come?

Can I play too? Can l, Wally?"

- Shut up!

- Make me, fart breath!

- That's it. I'm telling.

- No! You're not!

- [ Beaver Screams ]

- You know what bothers me?

When something like this happens, why

do they feel they have to cover it up?

Maybe they were afraid

you'd fly off the handle without

giving them a chance to explain.

You didn't disappoint them,

did you?

- [ Grunts ]

- [ Grunting ]

When I was growing up, I said

I'd never holler at my kids...

like my dad did,

and I did it again, didn't l?

Why is it all men are more concerned

about their relationships...

with their fathers than they are

their own children?

My father was like that too.

Hmph.

[ Beaver Shouts,

Faint ]

[ Grunting ]

- [ Growling ]

- [ Grunting ]

[ Beaver Grunts ]

I got it.

Whoa!

[ Shouting ]

[ Wally Grunts ]

Don't let go, Beav.

Don't let go.

- I still think you overreacted.

- Well, maybe you're right, dear.

You know, I ought

to go right up there...

and apologize for losing it.

That would be nice.

I just don't want them to

get off the hook so easily.

Is it too much to ask

for them to accept...

a little responsibility

for themselves?

For what that bike cost,

they can sweat it out a little longer.

[ Both Straining ]

Come on, Beav.

Thanks. Oops!

Oh, no!

Tsk.

[ Grunts ]

You know, June, maybe I should give

those boys a little more credit.

- Mm-hmm.

- [ Thudding ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting Continues ]

Whoo! That was close.

Just because you saved my life doesn't

mean I forgot you called me fart breath.

[ Grunts, Shouts ]

Boys!

[ Gulps ]

[ Barking ]

Good afternoon, Mrs. Cleaver. I took

the liberty of bringing you your mail.

Well, thank you, Eddie. But the boys

are grounded so you can't come in.

Do I detect

a new fragrance?

- Would that be patchouli oil?

- Thank you for noticing.

You know, Mrs. Cleaver,

and I say this with all due respect,

for a mom,

you're quite the babe.

[ Door Closes ]

Uh, behold a prime specimen

of "teenus screw-upius."

What do you want?

You know how it is

when you're driving on the freeway.

You see an accident.

You can't help but look at the wreckage.

Yeah, thanks for

stoppin' by, Eddie.

Now, what I need you to do

is call up my petite flower...

and find out how much she digs

me without sounding like I'm

the guy that put ya up to it.

Oh, yeah?

What's in it for me?

The proud glow you'll feel realizing

you've helped launch a successful union.

And who knows, maybe she has

some nice quiet friend for you.

Forget it, Eddie.

You're not gonna sucker me

into being the go-between.

[ Phone Ringing ]

Hello?

Um, hello? It's me!

[ Laughs ]

W-Wally Cleaver.

- Oh, hi.

- [ Purring ]

Yeah, um, I'm just callin'

out of the blue to,

you know, say hi.

Well, I'm glad you did.

I'm sort of...

having this boy-girl party on Saturday,

and I wanted to invite you.

- Really?

- I wanted to ask you at the soda shop,

but it was a little awkward

with that Eddie standing there.

Yeah, I can understand that.

Enough with the cutesy banter.

Start talkin' me up.

- Do you wanna do this?

- No. Fine.

You know, Eddie's not such a creep

once you get to know him.

Oh, my God. He's standing right

next to you, isn't he?

Yeah, that's--

that's quite true.

I guess I can't invite you

without inviting him too.

- That would be terrific.

- What? What-- [ Gasps ]

Listen, Wally,

now that you have

my number and all,

next time you're alone,

why don't you give me a call?

It was great talking

to you too, Karen.

Good-bye.

- Something on your mind, Beaver?

- Kinda.

On TV it showed this guy

who used to play football,

but can't anymore on account of

he got tackled so hard.

Come on, Beav. When I was your age,

playing peewee, I took my lumps.

Got knocked down

and I picked myself up.

That's football.

That's a lot like life really.

I just wanna make sure all

my body parts are workin' right.

What are you saying?

You wanna quit the team?

Do l? Thanks, Dad!

What a relief.

Well, you can't.

Why not?

Because first it's this,

next thing you quit school.

Then one day you quit your job,

your marriage and anything else

that gives you trouble in life.

- I can quit school?

- Beaver--

You're not listening to me.

If you really wanna make your dad proud,

then don't be a quitter.

Okay, Dad. I'll quit

tryin' to be a quitter.

Beaver.

You stick with it.

Keep playin' hard.

Who knows? One day you may be riding

a new bike around Mayfield.

[ Growls ]

[ Growling ]

[ Growls ]

[ Chattering ]

[ Man On P.A. System ]

Welcome to Centennial Field...

for the opening game

of Mighty Mite football.

Thank you. Oh, boy,

you want some popcorn, huh?

- How are sales, June?

- Good, dear! What would you like?

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Both Groaning ]

[ Announcer ] Mayfield will be

kicking off to Oak Park.

[ Coach ] Okay, everybody,

get ready for the kickoff.

Look alive!

[ Whistle Blows ]

Beav! Go!

[ Whistle Blows ]

[ Whistle Blows ]

Hey! Mayfield!

Don't take uh-uh!

[ Announcer ] With 38 seconds

left in the game,

Mayfield has a five-point lead

and the ball.

Okay, the rules say

I gotta play everyone.

Let's see.

Cleaver.

Yeah, Coach?

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