Leave It to Beaver Page #7

[ Grunting ]

You made it, Beaver!

You made it!

Hey, Larry!

I can't see inside!

Whoa!

[ Grunts ]

Hey, guess I win the bet!

I didn't hear a splash.

- Do I get my bike back now?

- Deal's a deal.

Come on down and get it.

- I can't get out!

- Are you welching on your deal?

- Kids today!

They just got no moral code.

- Yeah.

Hey, Larry, I'm gonna

be stuck in here forever.

Okay, okay, don't panic.

I'll get the police.

No, the cops will tell my

parents, and then they'll find

out I quit the football team!

If that's what you're worried about,

you deserve to be seeing a shrink.

[ Feet Scraping Side ]

[ Whistling ]

Wally! What are you doing?

We're gonna be having dinner soon.

Don't worry, Mom.

I'll be done by then.

Hello, dear.

How was your day at the salt mines?

June, where's the Beaver?

Um, he's at his game.

No, he's not. They haven't

seen him in two weeks.

I think this is one of those

conversations I should go upstairs for.

Wally, your father and I need

to know what's goin' on right now.

Okay, but if you

don't mind me saying so,

I don't think that going and thrashing

on the Beaver is gonna help any.

I was not planning

to thrash on anyone, Wally.

I'd just like to know what's

going on under my own roof.

All right.

[ Sighs ]

Well, we all

like the Beaver,

except we all know

he's not the smartest guy...

or the best-lookin' and that he's got

a tendency to lose things.

Your point being?

The guy's got enough

trouble in his life...

without always havin' to

worry about lettin' ya down.

- [ Doorbell Rings ]

- I'll get it.

Hi, Mrs. Cleaver.

I sure hope you're

in a good mood.

[ Giggles Nervously ]

[ Siren Wailing ]

Stand back!

Step aside here!

[ Dispatcher On Police

Radio, indistinct ]

Hey, Wally, looks like we just crowned

a new village idiot.

[ Helicopter Whirring ]

Ah, Mr. Cleaver,

I hope you're as moved...

by this fine show of civic support

for your second born as I am.

- Be right back.

- Okay.

I might add, Mrs. Cleaver,

even in the most dire circumstances...

you look as though you've

just walked off the runway.

- Eddie.

- Yes, Mrs. Cleaver.

Cut the crap.

Things are really percolating

here in downtown Mayfield...

as a little boy,

caught in a giant coffee cup,

has refused attempts

by rescue personnel to extricate him.

Now it appears that that job has landed

on the shoulders of his father.

- Th-That's Dad!

- Beaver?

Oh!

- [ Helicopter Whirring ]

- Hello, Beaver.

- You all right?

- Yes, sir.

If it's okay, I'd rather you yell at me

up here than in front of the whole town.

I have no intention

of yelling at you.

You say that now, but you just might

forget once you hear everything.

I know all about

the football team, Beaver.

Thanks a lot, Wally.

The problem isn't who I heard it from.

It's that I didn't hear it from you.

- I wanted to tell ya, Dad!

- Then why didn't ya, Beav?

'Cause I couldn't

decide which was worser:

screwin' up by playin'

or screwin' up by quittin'.

Either way, I didn't want to

go disappointin' ya again.

Why would you say

something like that?

'Cause it's true.

Ever since my bike got stole,

you've been

givin' me the look.

What look is that?

It's a look like you don't like what

I'm doin', but you don't wanna tell me.

Beaver, I don't

give you any--

Oh, I do that, huh?

My dad used to do that.

Used to make me feel like nothin'

I ever did was good enough for him.

If you didn't like it when

your dad gave you the look,

then why'd you

give it to me?

Well, Beaver, l--

I guess I just forgot

what it felt like...

to be a little boy.

Maybe one day

when you're in my shoes,

you won't make some of

the same mistakes with your son.

Yeah, but if I grow up

and have as dumb a kid as me,

it'd be hard

not to want to belt him.

[ Laughs ]

Oh, Beav.

You know what unconditional

love is, Beaver?

Uh-uh.

It means that

when you're a parent,

you love your children

exactly the same,

no matter if they get straight A's

or stuck in a giant coffee cup.

- You understand?

- Well, sure, I get it, Dad,

'cause that's the way

I feel about you.

Oh, Beaver.

Thank you, son.

That's the nicest thing

anyone has ever said to me.

Let's get out of this steam bath.

What do you say? Come on.

Hey, Dad, now that we talked

about all this junk,

do you think it'd be all right

if I sorta went back to the team?

You don't have to play football, Beaver,

or do anything you don't want to,

except take a bath.

It's just next week the game's against

Benton, and we're gonna get killed,

so all the parents will probably

buy us pizza to make us feel better.

[ Laughs ]

Come on. Up you go.

I got ya.

[ Grunts ]

[ Crowd Cheering ]

Yay!

- [ Whistle Blows ]

- Go, Mayfield!

Don't forget to visit the Mayfield

Harvest Festival after the game.

Here we are. Look at this beautiful

chocolate pie.

Look at that. You were

last year's winner, weren't you?

- Come on, Stacy!

- [ Girl ] Coming, Judy.

Here we go.

- Here you go.

- Hey, this is good.

- Hey, Kyle, could you get me a soda?

- Oh, sure.

I'm a little short.

You got a buck?

Be right back, babe.

- Hey, couple of sodas.

- [ Man ] Sure thing.

Thanks, bud.

[ Announcer ] Time-out, Mayfield, with

ten seconds left in the game.

- Hey, Karen! Here's your soda.

- Thanks.

Hey, man,

let's get some popcorn.

Yeah, but you

better stay here.

You might see something

that'll kill your appetite.

- You wanna go to the festival?

- Sure.

- Cool.

- Yeah.

Mayfield is down to its final play,

trailing Benton 24 to 20.

[ Giggles ]

Hi, everybody.

If you're worried about us

jumping all over you for losin'

that game for us, forget it.

Yeah. The coach said makin' fun

of a guy is un sportsmanlike.

- Thanks, guys.

- Huddle up!

[ Together ]

We are alive! Go!

So, uh, what's the play?

Oh! Pass protection,

86 on go.

- Ready!

- Break!

[ Whistle Blows ]

- Come on!

- Go, Beaver!

Down! Set!

- Go!

- [ Grunting ]

- There goes Beaver!

- Go, Beaver!

[ Grunts ]

- [ Crowd Cheering ]

- Go, Cleaver! Run!

- Run, Beaver!

- Run!

- Cleaver, run!

- Come on, Beaver!

- Run!

- Oh, no! Wrong way!

- Cleaver's running the wrong way...

- Stop him!

toward the Benton goal line!

- Beaver!

- [ Grunting ]

Cleav--

My bike! Stop!

- Come on!

- Come back here!

Go!

- Go!

- Go, Beaver!

[ Coach ]

Go, Cleaver! Go!

- [ Whistle Blows ]

- Touchdown!

[ Announcer ] Unbelievable!

Cleaver scores! Mayfield wins!

[ Panting ]

- You want some fudge?

- Sure.

- How about a brownie?

- Okay.

- Hey, bro.

- Give me back my bike!

[ Kyle Laughing ]

Go, brother! Go!

- What a loser family.

- Oh, yeah?

Aah!

- Aah!

- Nobody messes with my brother!

I'll be right back.

Here. You need

a little bit of topping.

[ Murmuring ]

[ Gasps ]

One hot dog with mustard.

Here you go, sir.

- Hey! Hey!

- Careful!

Whoa!

[ Grunts ]

- Not again!

- Ooh!

[ Gasps ]

- Ha, ha, ha.

- [ Groans ]

Yes!

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