Leaving Metropolis Page #2

yourself short.

I'd like to see

your art sometime.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

David put the special

board in the window.

That's a good idea.

You want a beer, buddy?

Buddy?

What?

Your husband just

called me buddy.

So?

You guys know

I'm gay, right?

I didn't mean for it

to be a big thing.

I assumed you knew.

I mean, I'm a waiter.

You saying all waiters

are fags?

No.

Just lots of them.

Lots of fags are

hairdressers too.

And guys who

arrange flowers.

And guys who design dresses

and people who make furniture

and painters and writers

and composers and...

well, anything in the world

that's pretty, we made it.

Like mauve kale.

We didn't make mauve kale.

We just accessorized it.

This is a problem.

No!

Really!

(David)

Are you sure?

- Yeah.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

See you tomorrow, then.

Night.

Tomorrow.

[Door closes]

Pretty nice for a fag.

Yeah.

Say you knew someone

quite well,

only say you'd never

seen this person.

You got to know each other

with letters, the telephone,

whatever, and now this person

wanted to meet you,

and you really wanted to meet

them, but, say you'd told maybe

one or two tiny untruths,

and now you're afraid to meet

this person that you know

but have never seen

because you're not everything

you said you were.

What would you do?

Is this one of those

Internet things?

Well, yes.

You meet guys on the Net?

Oh, yeah.

The computer's

replaced my vibrator.

I don't know what

came over me.

He gave me his number, and

as soon as I heard his voice,

I lied my fool head off.

He sounded just like

my favorite uncle Phil.

Uncle Phil damage.

What did you tell him?

That I was 30.

No.

Good luck.

In the right light.

If I've had

lots of sleep.

And they've had

lots of heroin.

Shannon, please!

What are you

going to do?

Stun him, stick him

in the freezer

until I've had

cosmetic surgery.

(David)

Tell him the truth.

Oh, I hate my mother.

Why weren't we warned?

Too busy ironing.

So how's

the tip money?

Fine.

Just let me come

and check it out.

I'll pretend not

to know you.

I'll write something

nice about it in the column.

No.

(Kryla)

Why not?!

Because it's my secret.

But you and I have

never had secrets.

We do now.

(man)

# Don't jump flat. #

# Don't jump flat. # #

(Matt)

My father left when

I was 11 years old.

I was the youngest, so I don't

remember him very well.

(David)

My old man made Fred Flintstone

look like Oscar Wilde.

(Matt)

Vi's gonna be

at her mom's late.

I thought we could

get a case of beer

and go over to your

place after we close up.

(David)

You aren't going?

Vi's mom and I don't

get along so well.

So if you're free.

I'm kind of tired.

I want to see

your artwork.

Some other night.

Sure.

I do have time

for a joint.

Excellent.

Merci.

Wanna go to

my place instead?

I have video games.

Some other night.

You don't like straight

people, do you?

Some of my best friends

are straight.

No.

Sorry.

Yes, I'm aware they're

installing

the paintings this month.

Sorry.

No, not for an installation

when I have another showing.

I don't know when

that will be.

No.

Soon.

Yes.

Bye.

You didn't tell me

you're sketching again.

I'm sketching again.

So the waiter thing

was exactly what you needed.

I guess.

Why are you

all dolled up?

It's psychological

evaluation time.

The good doctor ran out

of bereavement leave.

Good luck.

We could celebrate,

if you're not working tonight.

I should be off early.

It's been dead.

(Kryla)

I'm meeting him

again, tomorrow.

(Shannon)

Mr. Internet?

Yes.

He's so charming.

(Shannon)

F*** him?

Not on the first

date, darling.

Fabulous.

- Good luck.

- Gotta run.

Vaginal appointment.

Oh, see if you can

get me a new one.

The old one's

drying out.

- Mean ya.

- Love it.

Misuse does

that to vaginas.

(David)

You're certain this guy's

not a sex killer?

Relatively certain.

Incidentally, Paula

at the O.B.O. Called me about

the Legislature

installation.

I've got nothing

to talk to Paula about.

Talk about being a waiter.

(David)

Yeah, right.

Working tonight?

Yes.

Really?

[Hammer pounding meat]

We can't afford

a second waiter.

I can't handle the place

by myself at dinner.

Honey, we don't have

the money.

But he's so damn good.

And I like him.

So do you.

I know.

But, Matt, we don't

have the business.

You'll have to handle

the rush on your own.

You want me to do it?

No.

I'll take care of it.

I see you've got shepherd's pie

on the menu tonight.

You bet.

Hi, Matt.

We've got to talk.

Sure.

What's this?

I thought they might

brighten the tables up.

That's great.

Thanks.

Oan I get coffee

and dessert?

Sure.

(Kryla)

Thank you...

so much.

(Matt)

I'll take it.

Right.

[Background radio music]

Have you got a match?

No.

Oh, silly me.

I do have matches.

(Matt)

If it's stale,

I'll make fresh.

What do you have

for dessert?

Oarrot cake, cherry cheesecake,

vanilla ice cream.

I'll try

the carrot cake.

Dessert.

You want me to wait?

No.

Good night, David.

Good night, Vi.

You look familiar.

Oh, I have a

newspaper column.

(Matt)

The Sun, right?

The Trib, wrong.

(Matt)

Right.

(Kryla)

This cake is very good.

The wife bakes it herself.

How rural.

I'm so glad

I dropped by.

(Matt)

How'd you hear about us?

Actually, an artist friend

recommended you.

More coffee.

It's very hot.

I really should

be going.

You hardly touched

your cake.

It was wonderful,

really.

I have a slight

eating disorder.

Lovely restaurant.

What is your name?

I'd like to mention you

in the column.

Matt Elmworth.

And it's the Main

Street Diner, right?

(Matt)

Yes.

Here we are

on Main Street.

Ounning.

Thank you so much.

Good night.

I have to lay you off until

things pick up, David.

What?

Business isn't

so good.

I'll work for tips.

Maybe later on.

Business is gonna

pick up.

That woman who

just came in.

She's gonna

write about you.

One blurb.

It won't be one blurb.

She'll mention you a lot

over the next few weeks.

I know she will.

(Matt)

How?

I have a feeling

for these things.

Don't fire me.

You didn't fire him?

(Matt)

He brought us napkins.

Cloth ones.

How do you fire a guy

that brings you napkins?

Matt.

That woman that was there when

you left writes for The Sun.

She's gonna mention us

in her column.

Get out.

Don't want to turn around

and have to hire another waiter.

Guess we might as well see

if the write-ups

make any difference.

Right.

Something wrong?

No.

We spend an awful

lot of time together.

We're married.

That's how it works.

[Weatherman speaking softly

over TV]

[Techno music playing]

(David)

I want you to rave about it.

I want you to drop

the name in your column

at least twice

this week.

Why would I possibly

do that?

Because they're going

to go under

if they don't get

some asses in those chairs.

This is unethical.

Please.

[Panting]

You told him you'd

write something.

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