Leaving the Small Town Page #4

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son but

it is the will of God. There are

good days and bad days.

When I came back from India

I was totaly exhausted.

While I was shivering on the

ship's deck I was thinking.

If I ever reached my country,

I would never be

unhappy again as long as

I had a shelter and food.

We got home,

but the place was in ruins.

The war had affected

these places too.

My fiancee had given me up

and married someone else.

She even had a child.

That's right.

Now I'm a farmer.

So what? It's all right.

But I don't want to die,

you know.

I hope God let's me live

another 20 years at least.

- You have to live and eat

healthily like the Americans.

- To cut a long story, I've had

good times and bad times.

You should alwayd have hope.

- You will outlive us all, father.

You can see the

state I am in.

My mouth shakes and

my left eye twiches.

But the worst

of all is trying to sleep.

Just as I start to fall

asleep, suddenly

I get a pain in my right side.

Then the pain moves

up to my head

and I have terrible

headaches.

- Age brings its

aches and pains.

But I still want to

carry on living.

At least 20 more years.

Can you hear music?

- Father is right. When my mother

died I thought I couldn't bear it.

But now I can

hardly remember her face.

But when I was pregnant I felt

something I had never before.

I don't exactly know. May be

a wish for goodness?

As if I had realised

what life was about.

- Soon no one will even

visit our graves.

Change your pillow, father.

Use a thick wooden rolling

pin like the Japanese do.

Right under your neck.

Most headaches are coused by the

nerves at the back of the neck.

- Last year when the fire

broke out I ran home.

I was so relieved to see

it wasn't at our house.

Ali and Asiye were

watching the fire with the...

looks of horror, panic and

pleading on their faces.

It scared me to

see them like that.

I thought these kids will see so

much throughout their lives.

All the people were

running around shouting.

And that imploring look on

the children's faces.

I couldn't get it

out of my mind.

Mother! At which

direction lies India?

- Don't know.

This way I think.

- You mean, towards Yenice?

- I guess so.

That's east, isn't it?

- Then it is over the mountains.

Yeah. I think so.

If she had had the title

deeds made out in her name

while her husband was alive she

wouldn't be penniless now.

She asked if I had any

laundry to be done.

- Who?

- Your wife.

I said there are only those

that I am wearing.

She didn't offer

to wash those.

So I didn't take them off.

I dumped them in a bag.

Maybe I should have a few

deeds made out in my name.

Asiye, are you

asleep my lamb?

I was going to ask you

to massage my shoulders.

You carry on sleeping.

My head is aching again.

It is keeping me awake.

Nuri! Come and

massage it for me.

Massage my shoulders

a bit.

This damned pain. Why is it

tormenting me like this.

My neck feels like

a block of wood.

I'd like to chop it off.

Wait. Let me tie this.

Do you want me to press it?

- Look.

This pain is like

a weather forecast.

Let me sit down and

rest for a moment.

Are the children in bed?

- They are.

They didn't finish

eating the melon.

I didn't take it in. They can

eat it when they wake up.

God preserve us.

For my Mother and Father...

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