Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde Page #8

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of Communism, I like to say.

What on earth

are you talking about?

Isn't it

the first rule of facials...

that there's a 24-hour window

between a facial...

and any major occasion

such as a date or a dance...

or maybe an interview

with Mrs. Maury Povich?

I don't think that's a rule...

the most well-groomed woman

in Washington would forget.

This is ridiculous.

Could we clear this room?

You lied to me

about your lunch hour.

Why? Because you were having

lunch with Hannenfeld?

You've been lobbying

against us all this time.

For God's sakes, enough.

Thank you. Out, out, out.

Thank you.

I'll be with you in a moment.

Yes. I lied to you.

I killed Bruiser's Bill.

But you're an animal lover.

What about Dolly Madison,

your beagle?

Not mine. I borrowed it.

And it reeked.

Looked good on the sofa.

We've been through

all of this before.

I traded your bill

for the homeowners bill...

that Grace had committed me to.

That's a lie.

Grace never wanted that.

You blocked this bill

and I want to know why.

- Why?

- Yes, why?

Why does anything happen

in Washington? Survival.

You have no idea what it takes

to get here and stay here.

The money it takes.

It just so happens that

my chief financial contributor

purchased half share

in a major cosmetics company...

and they want to continue

testing on animals...

so much so

that they're willing...

to bankroll my opponent

in next year's elections...

if I did not kill your bill.

I trusted you.

I looked up to you.

I can't do anyone any good

if I'm no longer here.

But you're not doing

anybody any good.

Nobody in your district,

not even yourself.

And I'm sorry,

but I can't let that happen.

You can't prove

why I changed my vote...

or how I blocked your bill.

It's your word against mine...

and I've spent 20 years

building up my credibility...

in this town and back home.

I'm not going to the press.

I don't believe in blackmail.

But I do believe

in the people...

and I'm going to take

Bruiser's Bill to them.

The people believe

what we tell them to believe.

It'll never work, Elle.

You can't get

the people to care.

Watch me.

Ladies...

it's time.

You mean...

Are you sure?

As sure as I am that nobody

looks good in paisley.

Are you with me?

I think so. Serena?

Yeah. Yes.

We're with you, Elle.

Go for it.

Oh, my God!

Delta Nu president,

Chapter 2-6...

I.D. Number 097435.

Third from the top.

fifth from the top...

calling to activate

phone tree number 255.

Call to activate

phone tree 255!

This is not a fire drill.

I repeat, this is not a drill!

Sisters mobilized.

E.T.A. 0800 hours.

- Hi, Heather, it's Buffy.

- Hi, Kiki, it's Tiffani.

- Hi, Amber, it's Becky.

- Hi, Audrey, it's Melanie.

- Hi, Jos, it's Breena.

- Hi, Courtney, it's Veronica.

- Hi, Christy, it's Nat.

- Hi, Binky, it's Nicki.

- Hi, Jill, it's Jojo.

- Hi, Allison, it's Cookie.

You will never believe

what happened.

Elle just called

and she needs our help...

Suzy, we're taking it

to Defcon One.

There's a crisis right now.

Where the president is.

Exactly.

There's an emergency

in Washington.

Road trip?

OK, see you in Washington.

Save Bruiser's mom!

Save Bruiser's mom!

Help me out, tell a friend.

Save Bruiser's mom!

I like your necklace.

Gay Dogs of America

support Bruiser's Bill!

We're gonna tee it

around 12:
00--

Miss, save me a good one.

Full-color big picture

of Bruiser.

Emmett!

What are you doing here?

Wedding research.

What?

Elle, your work is here now

and it's important.

So I'm bringing

the wedding to you.

First step,

get groom to Washington.

But what about Fenway Park?

Look, I don't care

where I marry you...

just as long as I do.

I do. I do. Feels good.

So what's Step Two?

That's Step Two.

Save Bruiser's mom!

Save Bruiser's mom!

Save Bruiser's mom!

Save Bruiser's mom!

Colorado. Photo ops after.

Grace, are you all right?

Save Bruiser's mom!

Save Bruiser's mom!

Save Bruiser's mom!

Rutherford. Check.

Porter. Check.

Hutchins. Check.

Uh-oh. That's it.

It's not enough.

Tomorrow's a wash.

It's National Education Day.

Got a meeting of both Houses,

ceremonial speeches--

there's no time for politicking.

Sorry, Elle, we tried.

We have to keep trying.

Hello?

You want those

last fifteen signatures?

Grace?

It'll take

something extraordinary.

You'll have to pull something...

no regular citizen

would ever dream of.

Fine, but how am I

going to do that?

You're going to address

the entire Congress...

and I know just the person

to make it happen.

Who? Is that even possible?

Look, Elle,

you may be above blackmail...

but I'm not.

Grace, why are you helping me?

Because once upon a time

I loved politics...

and I want to do some good.

What has that got to do with me?

Look, those silly girls

that I told you about...

with the blisters on their feet?

I was one of them.

We have celebrated today

elementary education...

secondary

and higher education...

and now...

Don't even think about it.

And now...

This is

a little unconventional.

With the Speaker's...

and the president

of the Senate's permission...

please indulge me

as I share the floor...

with my constituent...

who in the spirit

of education...

would like to educate us all

on a vital issue...

facing us today.

Ladies and gentlemen

of both Houses...

I give you Ms. Elle Woods.

It's all yours.

Thank you, Congresswoman.

Hello, everyone,

my name is Elle Woods...

and I'm here

to speak to you today...

about a piece of legislation

called Bruiser's Bill.

But you know...

today is supposed to be

about education.

So instead, I want to tell you

about the education...

you all have given me

over the past three months.

What about Bruiser's Bill?

We still need 15 signatures.

She's blowing it.

I came to Washington

to help my dog Bruiser...

and somewhere

along the way...

I learned

a really unexpected lesson.

I know what you're thinking--

Who is this girl?

And what could this simple,

small-town girl from Bel Air...

have to say to all of us?

I'll tell you.

It's about something

that's bigger than me...

or any single act

of legislation.

This is about a matter

that should be at...

the highest importance

to every American--

My hair.

There's this salon

in Beverly Hills.

It's really fancy and beautiful.

It's impossible

to get an appointment.

Unless you're Julia Roberts

or from "Friends"...

you can just forget it.

But one day, they called me.

They had an opening.

So I was going to finally

get the chance...

to sit in one of

those sacred beauty chairs.

I was so excited.

Then the colorist...

gave me Brassy Brigitte

instead of Harlow Honey.

The shampoo girl washed my hair

with spiral perm solution...

instead of color-intensive

moisturizing shampoo.

Finally, the stylist...

gave me a bob... with bangs.

Suffice to say,

it was just wrong.

All wrong. For me, you know?

First I was angry.

And then I realized my anger

was completely misdirected.

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