Legend of the Naked Ghost Page #2

by her.

Which said?

Right. This is just a copy,

you understand?

What's it say?

"My dearest Peter,

I will never let anyone

"break the sanctity

of our honeymoon home.

"I await your return.

"Love forever, Gail."

- Oh. That's so sad.

- Makes me want to cry.

According to the relatives, the only

crying was for help once night fell

and the evil spirit of

Gail Evelyn manifested.

Wait, wait.

You mean this house

is haunted for real?

By a missing-in-action

movie star no less.

The house has been on

the market for more than 60 years

and no one's been able

to spend more than

one or two nights here

without running in terror.

And this is where we're spending

the weekend, you say?

I expect everyone to be

in the quad parking lot

at 2:
00 p.m. sharp.

Bring food and your own

pillow if you want

and anything else you think

you might need to survive.

You mean like a crucifix

and holy water?

Couldn't hurt.

Always better to be safe

than sorry.

- We've got them this time...

- Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!

They have spotted us.

Fire all cannons.

What are you doing

in there?

The animation station

did their own version

of "Pirates of Penzance."

Yeah, that sounds good.

You should be packing.

As a matter of fact,

it is good.

I'll pack later.

Hey. I was really into that.

Aren't you the least bit

apprehensive

about spending the night

tomorrow in a haunted house?

- To put it bluntly, no.

- And why not?

Candy, you and I have been

in Professor Rand's

supernatural class

all semester.

- True?

- Yeah. True.

Well, in all that time,

can you name one moment,

any moment,

where even the remotest

supernatural event occurred?

Well, there was that one

palm reader.

He knew I put in an application

to "Sexting with the Stars."

Forgive me, honey, but every one

on your Flutter account did also.

That wasn't exactly

a national secret by any means.

So, you're saying

you don't believe?

I'm saying I'm from Jersey.

Now that's the Show Me state.

Let me see with my own eyes

and you got me.

Hmm.

Show me, huh?

That's it.

If I can eyeball it,

touch it, feel it,

you've won me over.

All right, Mr. Skeptic.

So, you ready to touch it?

Feel it?

And I thought

the pirate cartoon was good.

Aah.

I see

you have reservations.

As a matter of fact, we do.

Tomorrow night

at a haunted house.

Not those type of reservations,

silly, silly boy.

Your woman here

has second thoughts

about traveling to

a place that is inhabited

by such a troubled

and restless spirit.

You mean Gail Evelyn?

Yes.

Her burdened soul

is trapped there in that

dank dwelling you speak of.

Awaiting a release

that may never come.

How can you tell all that?

I was born with a gift.

I'd say a couple.

- Mmm.

- So why is she here?

After death, most spirits

rise up to a greater reward.

However, there are those

unfortunate souls

that are forever bound

to this Earth

by, let's say,

unfinished business.

Really? Like, waiting

for a lost love.

Exactly.

Her lover may have moved on

to a greater plane,

but her vow to wait for him

may anchor her

to this mortal coil

for all eternity.

Oh, my gosh.

Maybe we could

actually help her?

- How?

- I don't know.

But if she appears to us,

maybe we can explain?

I don't know about you, doll,

but if she appears to me,

don't go grabbing for the trousers

flying out the front door.

- Why?

- 'Cause I'll be in 'em.

Mike, stop it.

Be serious.

I am being serious.

Any horny ghost shows up,

I'm gone.

Yeah, you say that now.

Wait.

Listen very carefully.

If you do perhaps

make contact with her,

you must first be anointed with

the love wrath for your protection.

The "love wrath"?

What the hell is that?

It is a counter spirit

that will protect you

from all forms of harm.

Great.

And how much is that

gonna cost me?

- Mike!

- What? I'm just asking.

For such beautiful people

as yourselves,

it will be free of charge.

Now, that's the type of price

that I'm talking about.

How do we get started?

Simple. Just kiss

your friend over here.

- Just kiss her?

- Yes.

You know, I think I'm

starting to change my opinion

about mind readers, madame.

So... is that it?

Now you must pass

the love forward.

- You mean kiss him back?

- No, dear.

The love must

pass through me first.

- Really?

- Really.

You do realize we're only

going away for a night,

not an entire month.

Hey, you always want

to be well-prepared.

You'll be thanking me later.

Trust me, babe.

Okay, Mr. Scoutmaster.

It's already five after.

Why are we hanging around?

Yeah, everything seems

ready to go.

We're waiting for

a surprise guest.

- Who's that?

- Let's just say she'll play

a key role in

our paranormal adventure.

"She"? Who's she?

Professor! Professor!

- Will you look at that.

- Get a load of that chassis.

Yeah, and the girls

not bad either.

- She looks familiar, too.

- Hey, she better not look too familiar, buster.

She should look familiar to everyone. She's

the great granddaughter of Dawn Cummings.

Oh, man. That's that chick

from the film yesterday.

She's the one

that was filming.

And she's a dead ringer

for her, too.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like

you to meet Samantha Hazel.

Samantha is our special guest

for the weekend.

Samantha, this is...

Tabitha, Mike,

Zane, and Candy.

I feel like I know

you guys already,

thanks to the Professor here.

It's nice to meet you guys.

- Likewise.

- I'll say.

Samantha is the great

granddaughter

of the once famous

movie actress, Dawn Cummings.

Dawn was Gail Evelyn's

best friend.

Pardon me for saying,

but you're a dead ringer

- for that girl in the film.

- Thank you.

She was beautiful, I know.

After Gail disappeared,

in her will,

she left all her possessions

and the house to Dawn Cummings.

My family's owned the house

ever since

and the curse that goes along

with it, unfortunately.

I've been emailing Samantha back

and forth for quite some time.

Now, she's been very helpful

in my studies.

The legend surrounding

the spirit of Gail Evelyn

was something my family

never wanted to talk about.

- So why now?

- I've been writing letters

to Gail's mother

for quite some time,

but she never wanted

to have anything to do

with my paranormal studies.

Fortunately,

Samantha has come of age

and has a different

frame of mind.

But how do we

fit into all of this?

Simple. We're gonna see

if we can't reach across

into the spirit world

and find Gail Evelyn.

Yeah, simple.

Well, if we can somehow

release Gail's soul,

the house can go clean,

and she can rest in peace.

Jeez, the plot thickens, huh?

Can you show some respect

sometimes, would you?

Sorry. No offense meant.

Well, enough of this standing

around yapping.

Let's get this

show on the road.

Excellent idea, Mike.

- Wow.

- This is quite a place.

Even more majestic

than I expected.

- Spectacular.

- I'll say.

If I was a ghost, this is

where I'd come a haunting.

Damn. It really is

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