Legend of the Naked Ghost Page #3

creeped out in here.

It's not movie creepy,

real creepy.

I know.

I mean, it feels like,

I don't know, we're being

watched or something.

Candy, don't say stuff like that.

I'm already scared.

Not much like the classroom,

is it, guys?

No, not at all.

You follow me upstairs,

I'll show you to your room.

Upstairs?

Yeah. That's where

the bedrooms are.

And the bathrooms,

too, I hope.

You'll have your choice

of three lavish commodes.

Great 'cause I could

really use a shower.

Zane, why are you thinking about

taking a shower in a place like this?

Because I was cooped up

all day in that van.

- You had air conditioning.

- Not where I was sitting.

Candy, just let him

take a shower.

I'll keep you protected, okay?

Come on, pal. Let's go out

and grab the bags.

That's right, guys. Let's get settled

because I want everybody down here

at 7:
00 sharp

for the sance.

You didn't say anything

about a sance.

Well, how were you expecting to

contact the dead, Miss Crane?

- Facebook?

- There's a bunch of dead people on Facebook.

All right, Miss Hazel,

if you will.

Right this way, ladies.

7:
00 p.m. sharp.

Now, don't hog

all the hot water.

If there is any.

I've been standing here for 10 minutes

and the thing is still ice cold.

Don't sweat it, ladies.

I just went down to the cellar

and turned on the heater.

You went down there alone?

Yes, I did.

And I'm sorry to report,

no ghost sightings yet.

Know what? It can stay like

that till morning.

What? I thought you were girls were

all about all things paranormal.

Not me.

My boyfriend.

He actually did tell me

that there were no ghosts

and that this

was an easy pass.

So, here I am,

just enjoying the ride.

Well, at least you're honest.

What about you, Tabitha?

Well, I'm doing this

for my dad.

He was a magician in Vegas

for years until he retired.

As a little girl,

I remember him saying

that magic as more

than just an illusion.

That it was a gateway

to places unknown.

After he passed on

last spring,

I decided to do some

investigating on my own.

Just to see if it was true.

Oh. I never knew that, Tabby.

- Are they in there?

- I believe so.

Do you think

they'll make contact?

From what that couple

told me last night,

they've got

a really good chance.

Professor Rand

had amazing success

with supernatural

communication.

Okay, but what good

does that do either of us

if we're stuck out here

when he makes contact?

Do you think it was

just a coincidence

that couple came to my shop last night

to have their palm's read?

- I'm not sure.

- Well, I'm telling you, it wasn't.

It was a sign

from Gail Evelyn herself.

She knows who I really am

and she wants me to be here.

I'm sure of it.

Sure of what, ladies?

Can I help you?

Yes. I'm Sandy Smith.

This is my friend,

Blanch Thompson.

Your neighbors

on either side.

We heard some noise

over here this afternoon

and we were sure

some new folks had moved in.

Ah, the welcome wagon.

Yeah, that's it. Yeah.

But instead of ringing

the front doorbell

and introducing yourselves,

you thought it best

to sneak in the backyard with some

binoculars and check things out first.

Yeah, that's it.

Totally innocent.

I'm sure it is.

- Look, mister...

- Call me, Zane.

Zane, I know, you know,

we're here trespassing.

But I can assure you

there's a very good reason.

- Which is?

- Well, I met two of your very good friends last night

when they came into my shop

to have their fortunes told.

Hmm. I heard about that

on the drive over

this afternoon.

Sounds like everyone

had a hell of a time.

Well, when they told me

about your plan

to contact Gail Evelyn,

I just had to be here.

- Why's that?

- Personal reasons.

You're gonna have to do

a lot better than that,

- Madame Zolta, is it?

- Yes, that is my professional name.

And this is my colleague,

Selena Protruska.

She's another psychic who occasionally

fills in for me on weekends.

So, you're the moral support.

So, what do you say, Zane?

Could you accommodate

two extra party crashers

- at your little sance tonight?

- I'm not really sure.

Well, I'm sure

the two of us

could make it

worth your while.

You mean...

Would you like

your palm read?

Sure.

Selena, let's take care

of that.

You know, I think I can

predict my own future.

Hey, girl. Don't take too long.

We got the sance coming up.

Oh, just gonna be a minute.

Gotta look good

for the ghosts.

Tabitha?

Tabby?

Is that you?

Hmm.

Hmm. Looking for something?

Oh, hey, Cand, I could have swore

that I packed my favorite blue... whoa!

Hey. Sorry, Cand.

You can look if you want.

So you like my new lingerie?

Yeah. They're amazing.

I mean, it's amazing.

I just thought it would be something fun

to bring on the trip.

Fun for the whole family.

Well, if you like

what it looks like on me...

what about what it looks like

on the floor?

So, what do you think

of those two, Professor?

They seem innocent enough.

Well, to be honest with you,

I'm not thrilled

with either one of them.

Well, I can understand that,

but I think their unexpected

arrival here

may be for the good.

Okay.

It's just that this haunting

has been in my family

for so long, I'm hesitant

to let anyone new in.

I get your point.

But, you know, they might

offer a spiritual guidance

during the sance.

Yeah, that's what

I was kinda afraid of.

Well, I don't

want you to worry

because I have this.

What's that?

That is a

3,000-year-old amulet

meant to worship Osiris.

3,000 years old and

you keep it in your pocket

with your car keys

and your change?

It's pretty cool, though.

What do you use it for?

Well, some say you can

use it to contact the dead.

So, it's kinda like an ancient

cellphone to the dead.

Yeah, I guess

you could say that.

Well, jeez.

Where do you pick up a little

trinket like this, Doc?

I mean, I'm sure they don't give it

away with every camel ride you take.

As a matter of fact,

I bought it off an old fakir.

- An old f***er?

- Fakir. Fakir.

Oh, my God.

- What the hell was that?!

- An earthquake, I hope.

No quake ever sounded

like that.

It sounds like

it came from upstairs.

- Mike, Zane, come with me.

- To the van?

- No, upstairs.

- You think that's a good idea, Doc?

Mr. Crawford, you've been scoffing

at the spirit world all semester,

now's your chance to prove

me wrong once and for all.

Okay, okay.

What the hell is that?

The holy water. You never know.

It's good to have a back up.

Right.

All right, you ladies wait here.

And remember, stay together.

Do not worry.

I will keep

you all safe from evil.

Oh, great. Now I feel

totally secure.

Do not discount the powers

of the great Madame Zolta.

Oh, far be it from me.

- Who goes first?

- Well, Zane,

it sounds like you're

actually becoming a believer.

In some odd way, I think I've

probably done my job as a teacher.

Doc, I can tell you right now,

by dawn, I'll be an out and out convert.

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