Lejdis

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"Friendship is one soul

in two bodies"

said a Greek philosopher ages ago,

certainly gay.

Had the wise man known women,

he would have also known that

two bodies are not enough.

The story of Laydees,

girls from one block,

having New Year's parties

in the summer for 25 years,

proves clearly that friendship

is a single soul dwelling

in four bodies.

Who are these people?

What time is it?

- 9 p.m.

- Shall we rehearse?

- Lucy, please!

- We do it every year.

You force us to do dumb rehearsals.

Life's spontaneous!

Stop being a brat,

it's tradition.

Yeah! Gosia, you start,

you're the oldest.

B*tch.

This year like each year actually

I'd like a lovely little baby.

- But a boy or a girl?

- God, I'm going to puke...

Triplets, 1 of each sex.

- I want to get married this year!

- What?

- Get married.

- I'm going to puke.

Didn't you learn?

I was young, pregnant

and in an ugly dress.

I'll invest in new breasts!

F***, it even rhymes.

You're crazy.

You have tits!

You have tits,

I have itsy-bitsy zits.

In a year girls,

I'll stand here with

a pair of totally huge knockers!

- Sounds convincing.

- And you?

And me nothing.

I feel good just as it is.

She's lying.

She's dreaming of love...

- You crazy?

- I can see it in her eyes.

I'll avoid this love sh*t too.

Shags are ok, love is not. Love's

slavery, tears and gnashed c*nts!

- From the Bible?

- It is, from the Apocrypha.

Caesar, that New Year's

is a crazy idea.

- We thought the invite was a joke.

- I'm not in this, legate

Darius!

My wife and friends've celebrated

New Year's in August for 25 years.

- Great!

- I'd say.

Where have you been?

Caught by a UFO?

- Yeah, in the loo.

- I hate it when you disappear.

Next time I'll take you with me,

and then...

- Stop it!

- Stop what?

- You look like a million bucks!

- People are looking.

Let them look!

Let them look and envy me.

Let's dance, I'll do such

a Fred Astaire that feathers'll fly.

Artur? You should be here now

at the New Year's party!

Honey, we've talked about this,

it's not a New Year's party!

Besides, it's the Miracle

on the Vistula,

the anniversary banquet.

It's extremely important!

Honey, how extremely?

Why am I not there?

You chose the Laydees.

Honey, I chose you a long time ago.

I'll be back in about 10... no,

in 12 days! So, please,

be in shape, you hear me?

I don't know,

exercise or something!

Drink milk! Eat, you know...

proteins! In eggs!

- They're supposed to be best!

- I promise to be in top form.

- Love you, bye.

- Love you too.

Did you see how Marek

wore me out?

A demon.

How long till midnight?

An oar.

You're an oar yourself.

One oar... two oar...

oar after oar... and bang!

Twenty-five years.

- Whoa, a quarter of a century.

- A quarter today, a half tomorrow...

And life will pass like

a flash in the c*nt.

And it's boring, too, isn't it?

- Boring, isn't it?

- Yeah...

In general,

it's developing like this.

- It develops...

- Don't correct her.

- You're too small.

- Right, and too dumb.

She's not small.

She's already kissed!

Yuck!

If that's true,

then you're disgusting.

We've got no choice, apart from them,

none of the girls live here.

- And why do you need us?

- For the New Year's Eve.

- For what?

- An adult's party.

Stop being a know-all.

It's a party for adults,

when they feel bored.

At midnight you make a wish,

it comes true next year.

New Year's Eve is a grand moment.

And that's why

you have to behave like true ladies.

Luka, show them!

L-a-y-d-e-e-s...

That's in English.

These are ladies, precisely.

Which is us.

From today on, for ever.

LAYDEES:

- Give it to me, you drunkard!

- You're worse than Artur.

For the better...

Oh, he's calling!

How are you honey?

Gosia, hello? It's Istvan!

- Istvan.

- Who?

I am awfully sorry...

What's up?

I was hoping you'd come

but Artur told me everything.

- It's stupid with this funeral...

- With what?

Well, Artur said you had to stay

in Warsaw because of the funeral...

Aaa, my close friend died...

Well, not my close friend but her

husband, but you know how it is.

One for all, and all for one,

or something...

Goka, it's very loud

and cheerful there...

It's because, he wanted it

to be a kind of Indian ritual.

Loud, cheerful, everyone's

feeling awfully sad, though.

And Gosia,

will you come to Brussels?

Lucy, I must go to the loo...

I feel sick!

...Gosia? Hello?

You woke up Juleczka

and Darek's wife's taking him home?

Why take a kid to New Year's?

Was "take your infant and

your breast milk" on the invite?

Or "we'll provide you with

service on leather sofas"?

It's not a real New Year's!

Korba!

Look who's talking! A man who runs

in a toga and says he's a Roman!

Stop smoking!

You stink of fags.

You know what, sugar pots, I'll go

and have a dance on the table, ok?

You got it all mixed up!

Have your Romans,

leave my New Year's alone!

It's the New Year's to me!

- I worked 6 years in London!

- By the sink?

As a graphic designer!

Just back and I'm looking around,

'cause I don't want to take

just anything.

I guarantee you, sweetie pie,

that this is not just anything!

So stop blabbing

and start dancing!

F***ing Romans! How close

is the fall of your empire!

F***, I think you've mistaken

the ladies, Mareczek!

Monia, listen,

it's not like that!

We want to get married.

- Shut up!

- I'll help you:

You walked, and fell right

between her legs!

Monia, please don't say anything!

Monia!

But you're feeling alright now,

right?

Get undressed,

Edgar...

I won't do anything to you.

- Erwin. My name is Erwin.

- Whatever, man.

You can even be

Lech Jarosaw

to me now...

Lech Jarosaw...

- Bang.

- I can see!

Korba, get dressed and say goodbye!

Now Korba!

He'll cool down.

- You have to recycle waste.

- You must bring it round first.

- Bring it round and kill it.

- Great plan.

Well, wake up, b*tch!

Marek?

- Ok, now you've gone too far!

- You know already?

You confessed, right?

And just before midnight!

That bastard, eh?

- I almost died.

- You can take it?

Easy, Korba! I'm shaking.

The most wonderful day

of my entire life!

What?!

- The one, wild and divine!

- I can't keep the f*** up anymore.

Marek has just proposed!

- Goka! You'll be bridesmaids!

- I'll be a maid, too?

- Happy?

- It's great.

Have a kid at once!

Jesus!

F***!

You vanished

like Cinderella.

The fairies helped me find you

sooner than in the fairytale.

Fairytale? Oh, I know what tale

you're talking about!

The one in which you first

touch me with your magic wand,

your laser sword and then I,

of course, weep with pleasure,

then I spend the rest

of my life praying for you

not to get your

midlife crisis too soon,

and you come home wearing

a Hawaiian shirt,

and our friends' daughter saying:

honey, meet my new wife,

but oh, don't worry,

I won't throw you out

on the street.

You can still live with us

if you do all the chores.

You can shove this tale

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