Lejdis Page #2

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up my ass, Edgar!

Erwin.

Whatever... you...

pork chop clown!

Girls, this will be

a wonderful year!

Laydees!

The Laydees believed that

the wish made on New Year's

would come true very soon.

Korba was doing best.

Hunting down her prey.

She rested during work to have

strength for the next hunts.

Editing for a glossy magazine,

a job she deeply despised.

Goka was obsessively watching

her fertile days.

When they came, she flew

to Brussels, where her husband,

a member of Parliament,

was living.

She was trying not to

notice Artur's devotion to work,

and he disappeared in ever

more enigmatic subcommittees.

Monia wanted to enlarge

her breasts feeling

she wasn't worth loving.

She never knew how to be happy.

Her rich eccentric husband,

who thinks he is the last heir

to the Roman Empire,

bought her a sports club.

ucja looked for a man

who would be a father to her son.

Marek, a sexy education curator,

seemed the perfect candidate.

However, he had one flaw

of which ucja had no idea -

he loved all the women

in the world just too much...

There, finally!

Hi, honey.

Cut it out, Szymek is here.

Cheers, young lad!

I said "Cheers, young lad!"

I'm going to play football.

How about the film with Szyc?

- With Szyc? Come on.

- Then maybe...

I can't go today.

- You promised!

- I know I promised, honey.

- But unfortunately, again...

- Baej?

- Another attack.

- What this time?

- The washing machine.

- God!

Yeah, and about the thing...

Would you be so kind?

- You know...

- Don't mention it!

Shirts sixty degrees,

socks and sweaters thirty.

- Shirts 60, socks 30.

- Don't mix the colours.

- Yeah, I know, now I know.

- Thanks.

Mum...

Stop whining!

I'll leave in a second.

- It's not about the bathroom.

- What is it?

Sleep with who you want.

But must you mix our undies?

It's humiliating for me!

Szymek, it's not how

you think it is.

- Yeah, right...

- Marek is a good man.

- All heroes are dead mum.

- I'm serious, honey.

He's sacrificed for years.

- A hero!

- He is! I've seen it!

Baej is in a wheelchair, Marek

has to feed him, calm him down.

- Change his diapers.

- It's dreadful!

Baej has anxiety attacks.

He cries for days,

he yells at washing machines.

I saw it!

Honey, it was awful...

So maybe we could help

Marek with his laundry?

You have to be a bit human honey.

I'm sorry...

- A new one?

- Yeah.

- It's illegal?

- Legal, Wojtek's.

- Wojtek who?

- I told you! He moved in recently.

- You didn't say anything.

- I did, but you didn't listen!

- I play football with him.

- What? Exercise is good for you.

- I love you.

- I know, mum!

I know you know.

You're so scrupulous,

we had to delay the press again!

- There were errors!

- No!

Millions of women wait for the new issue

and you're talking about commas?

Screw the commas,

no one else in this country

knows where to put them!

What grand piano?!

Are you mad?!

I didn't order a piano!

I'm telling you I don't give

a f*** about pianos!

Later! I don't know how later!

You call and find out!

People are vultures!

They ring and say there's piano,

and to come sign the bill!

Completely mad!

- Did you buy a piano?

- Do I look like a moron?!

Tomek bought it, dumbass.

- I hope I didn't disturb you?

- No, never!

We're just chatting

a bit about work.

A VIP pass for a year,

all inclusive.

- I shouldn't.

- We have new treatments!

Asian peeling knocks off 10 years.

- I really shouldn't.

- It's an honour for my club.

And for my magazine which

I have the honour of running.

Can I take my friend

for two-three hours?

- You're most welcome.

- Wonderful.

- See you at the club. Bye!

- Goodbye!

Excuse me.

They slipped out...

Without the passes, the b*tch

would have fired me long ago.

You should be the editor!

The chairman is eating out

of Tomek's hand.

Writing is worse

than correcting this sh*t.

Korba, you're stupid.

And Marek?

- Maybe Asian peeling?

- I'm serious!

- So am I.

- We have to tell Lucy.

- And make her life miserable.

- Don't exaggerate.

- I'll buy her a present.

- Maybe give her the piano!

Oh, f***! I forgot

they're standing outside!

- Tomek's problem!

- Tomek's away!

He's on his survival camp.

Drinking dirty water,

f***ing around with swords

and no phone, moron!

Speaking of morons,

we have to talk to Marek.

Jesus, what will he tell you?

"It's not what you think!

I don't know what got into me!

I love Lucy"?

I love their excuses.

That's my little fetish.

But maybe? I know!

We'll make him sign

a prenuptial!

- Call Goka, we need a lawyer.

- Goka is in Brussels.

- Artur is fertilizing her.

- Again?

- Hello?

- Hi, hi!

I'm so glad you came!

Yeah, I came...

Hi, Istvan, how are you?

You want to talk to Artur?

No... Yes, yes! To Artur!

What time is it?

Artur is taking a bath.

Oh. He's taking a bath...

- And how are you, Gosia?

- Me? I'm fine!

I'm pregnant!

Artur didn't tell me anything!

I've been pregnant since

- Who called?

- Wrong number.

- Who?

- Wrong number.

- How are you feeling, honey?

- Fantastic.

Girl, we had an appointment!

Move, move!

Damn...

- Good morning!

- He won't answer.

- Is he a deaf mute?

- No, a Spanish juggler.

Where the f***

did you find him?

At a sale...

- Sweetie!

- Daddy.

- You remembered about me at last...

- Actually,

- I was at Korba's place...

- Good morning, Karolina.

Maybe you'd persuade her

to come to my place sometime.

- Dad! I do come.

- But she comes.

- Who is that?

- It's...

- A friend.

- A Latino? I hate Latinos.

- No. Spanish.

- The same scum...

- Dad! It's Korba's friend!

- Rather a one-time tour.

- So, we have to be going, right...

- So do I. To the housing office.

Goodbye.

I forgot your mother's affair

with a tenor from Argentina.

He was a baritone...

A f***ing baritone from the Pampas.

It's not like that, girls.

It's not what you think.

I don't know why, I love ucja.

- I swear I'll kick the sh*t out of him.

- Girls, show some empathy.

Exactly! Empathy.

It's some kind of Asian soup?

I know only about Asian peeling.

It's my brother...

Yeah... He's got tits the size

of melons and his name is Joanna.

It really is my brother.

- He's disabled.

- Does it run in your family?

Jesus Christ, Baej.

Korba, help!

A towel!

Now give me the syringe!

And the ampoule! There!

Girls, wait in the other room!

Let's go.

Now calm down, calm down!

Shut up.

It's been like this for 13 years,

and it's getting worse and worse.

The doctors say that

it's a matter of months.

I can't... I can't stand

this mood swing anymore.

I admit sometimes

I go insane and I get lost,

but I'm not a bad man.

Believe me, I'm not.

F***, he's screwed.

Empathy:
an Asian soup...

God, we're such b*tches!

I thought she'd have a heart attack!

A heart attack

with no heart?

I don't have a heart.

Milena no brain.

Proofread this immediately!

Aunt Korba has handled

worse situations.

It will be ready in a minute, hun!

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