Len and Company Page #3

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- Hey, Dad, I taped

the Man City-Liverpool game.

I was gonna put it on

if you want to watch it.

- F*** Liverpool.

We've got a raccoon invasion

to deal with here.

[cage clatters]

F***ing Liverpool.

- Yeah, right.

All right, I'll leave you guys

to it, then.

Yeah.

[cage clatters]

- Let me see that

before you get hurt.

- Yeah, catch a f***ing...

[cage clatters]

Catch a f***ing horse in it.

[dark pop music

playing on radio]

II:

- Oh, yeah.

I Champ Burger I

- Welcome to Champ Burger.

- Thank you.

- You had a combo number two

with a large Pepsi.

That comes to $9.17.

- Cool.

' [gasps]

' Zoe?

- Here you go.

Oh, hi.

- Hi.

- Holy sh*t.

- Hi.

- This is crazy.

It's you.

- Yeah, it is.

- I am totally

obsessed with you.

- Cool.

- What are you doing out here

in this dump for?

- Yeah, what-

what are you doing here?

- I'm going to see Len.

- Are you, uh-are you okay?

- No, not really.

[chuckles]

- Hey, there's some extra

napkins and sh*t in the bag.

- Cool, man.

Thank you so much.

[phone camera clicks]

- Percy, you see

how the king picks me out

for special greeting'?

- No, my lord.

- I saw H, my lord.

- Ah, and What is your name,

little fellow?

- My name is Baldrick, my lord.

- Ah, then I shall call you...

Baldrick.

- And I shall call you

"my lord,"

my lord.

- I like the out of your job,

young fellow m'lad.

- Hey, can I ask you something?

- Mm-hmm.

- Do you ever miss

being in a band?

- There's bits about it I miss.

It was a f***ed-up time.

People like to romanticize

that sort of thing, you know?

- Yeah.

Man, I just-

it just must have been like...

you know, just playing

whatever you wanted to play

and not having,

I don't know, just-

it must have been a great time

to be an artist.

- Have you lost your conkers?

- So you Won?

- Yeah, there were bits

about it that were fantastic.

[people cheering]

- Yeah, you know,

things are actually pretty-

going pretty okay

for my band right now.

- Right.

- Yeah, I mean, Zach-

like, he's such a stoner, but-

but he's, like, so talented.

You know, I-and I have to be

the one that-

to kind of, like, bring

everybody together.

It's...

Yeah.

I don't know, even-

like, we even-

we wrote some new songs

and have some pretty decent

recordings now.

And, uh, like...

I don't know, we've been

playing shows too in Brooklyn.

Like, nothing big, but we've

had a pretty good responses-

- Yeah, that's, that's great.

Good.

- Yeah.

- Great.

- I mean, it's going, yeah.

- Before they don

armor tomorrow.

- Yeah, I mean, we've-

we-we even planned out,

like, our goals for the year.

- Goals?

- Yeah.

Like, I mean, the same-

they're the same goals

as last year, but we just have

a different date on it.

- Huh.

- 'Cause, yeah.

What?

[people shouting]

- I want to show you something.

- What are you...

[people cheering]

Should I come-

should I follow you?

- Yes, you should.

- All right.

- There's going to have to be

a certain amount

of violence.

- Do you know what this is?

- It's your favorite guitar.

. Yep-

My first Telecaster.

[scoffs]

Hold it.

- It's light.

- Yeah.

- It's like-

- Feel the ash grain

through the finish, can't you?

- Yeah.

- Don't look at your hands.

[guitar strums]

Only girl guitarists

look at their hands.

. Okay"

[guitar strumming]

Oh, man.

- You feel all right?

- Sure, yeah.

- You feel cool, yeah?

- I feel all right.

- Feel the velocity?

- I feel something.

- Right.

Go on, smash it.

- What?

- Hold it high above your head

and bring it crashing down

to the ground.

- You're joking, right?

- No.

- It's gonna break.

- Yeah, it'll probably snap in

half, and all these little bits

will go flying round the room.

- This is so stupid.

- It's f***ing mental,

so do it.

- No.

- Don't think about it.

Don't think about

the consequences, Max.

Just f***ing do something.

- This is-

- F***ing break it.

- No.

No.

- [sighs]

- [sighs]

- Your mum...

She ever ask about me?

- What?

Who's that?

- F***ing hell.

- What?

- [sighs]

- Who is it?

- F***.

I don't know, do I?

Oh, f*** me sideways.

- What?

- Shh.

- [whispering]

Who is it?

- Shh, get away

from the f***ing window!

. Okay"

- F***.

- Who is it?

- Get down!

Don't-just don't

f***ing move a muscle.

- Who is it?

- Down.

Just f***ing ignore her.

She might go away.

- Ignore who?

- F***ing mother-

a box of f***ing frogs, man.

- Is that Zoe?

- Yes, it is f***ing Zoe.

- Why are you-

what are you doing?

- Go f*** yourself, Len.

loan hear you.

- Oh.

[knocking at door]

Holy Mary, mother of Christ.

- Come on, Len, let me in!

- Help me now

in my hour of need.

[knocking at door]

- I'm in the back, Len.

' Lem'

- Okay, let her in.

[knocking at door]

Let her in.

- Len, open the door.

[knocking at door]

- Hey, Max.

- Oh, hi.

Hi.

- Wow.

How are you?

- I'm doing okay.

- Good to see you.

Surprise.

I was just

in the neighborhood.

I thought I'd drop by

and find out

what the f***

was going with you.

- What're you doing here?

- I've been trying

to get a hold of you.

I called you, like,

a million times.

- I'm trying to be alone.

- Well, you can't.

- I can't?

- No.

- Why not?

- Because that's not fair.

- My God...

this is a f***ing ambush.

My sanctuary's been invaded

by needy little piglets.

I've got to lie down.

Piglets with their teeth

in my neck...

Sucking my blood.

- He's in a good mood.

- Yeah.

- Do you have a toothbrush

i could borrow?

[soft instrumental music]

II:

- We are in for a treat today.

Our speakers are Len Black,

William's employer,

and Mr. Frank Coulter,

Derek's dad.

Now, Mr. Black

is gonna share with us

his experience of working

in the music industry,

and Mr. Coulter

will talk to us

about what it feels like

to own your own business.

Mr. Black, would you

like to start us off?

- [clears throat]

Hello, children.

Right.

So, uh, my experience, right.

So, uh, yeah, well, my family-

there was me, me mum, me dad.

Grew up in a shitty

little town in the UK.

We were poor,

like everyone else

who lived near us,

which I hated.

My dad had a sh*t job

at a factory.

He was drunk most of the time,

so he had no interest

in having a relationship

with me or anything.

He was a miserable

old c*nt, really.

Probably still is.

My mum taught piano lessons

to most of the neighbors' kids,

so that's how I got

interested in music,

but then, uh, I left school

when I was about 16,

ran away from home-

about your age, actually-

so, uh,

well done for not doing that.

Yeah, next portion of my life

l spent drinking,

getting into trouble, fighting,

taking drugs, nicking cars,

that sort of thing, you know.

You know what I mean.

And then, um, eventually,

me and a couple of mates

started a band.

I had one T-shirt,

which I wore every day,

and we all lived

in this tiny little f***ing

size of a janitor's closet.

We were angry.

We were pissed off.

We were skint-

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