Len and Company Page #5

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that no one takes me seriously

and f***ing everyone

thinks I'm a joke, right?

- Yeah, and that's 'cause

you get loaded all the time

and take your clothes off,

innit?

- F*** you.

Whatever, man.

You know, l wouldn't tell him

about your f***ing

demo either, Max.

Bullshit.

I mean, are you kidding me?

I've always assumed

that underneath

all the selfish Len sh*t,

there's actually

a decent human being in there

pulling at the little strings.

There just isn't.

There's not.

You're just full of sh*t

from head to toe.

Nothing but sh*t.

- What demo?

- Oh, just the one your son

pretty much quit school to make.

- God.

- You quit school?

- I'm just taking time off.

I was gonna tell you.

But Mom knows.

- Oh, come on.

All he wants

is for you to listen to his demo

for, like, 5 seconds

and actually give

your honest opinion on it,

and he's too scared to ask you,

'cause he knows you're just

gonna be an a**hole about it.

F***ing a**hole-

- Okay, I did not-

I didn't say a**hole.

That's not-

- Why are you

apologizing to him?

He's the one

that owes you an apology.

This is bullshit.

You should be-

- Put a f***ing sock

in it, Zoe.

Jesus Christ, girl.

F***ing hell.

F***ing pain in the ass.

- Yeah, of course I am.

You want to make a cheers?

- Oh, God.

- Cheers to deadbeat dads.

And you are an a**hole.

He might not tell you, but I am.

F***in' sweet dreams, Len.

Whoo.

F***ing dick.

You suck.

- She can f***ing cook,

I'll give her that.

[birds calling]

[light instrumental music]

II:

[inquisitive music]

II:

- William,

are you following me?

I can see you.

You're hiding behind

that little sh*t of a tree.

You've got a green jacket.

I can smell your Pop-Tart.

- I just came by to see

if you needed anything.

I don't have class till later.

What are you doing?

- Burying some cables.

- Why?

- So I don't record anything.

Care to assist me?

- Sure.

II:

We only have the one shovel, but

we could take turns digging.

- Good idea.

- Yeah.

I'll go first,

since, uh, you carried that,

and you're probably tired.

- Smart.

II:

People are hungry animals,

William.

They want things.

And they'll chew through you

to get them.

. HEY-

I behaved like a ginormous

a**hole last night.

- It's no big deal.

- I really like it.

- Really?

- Yeah.

It's awesome.

Now you should totally

let the a**hole

listen to it.

[both chuckling]

- Yeah, yeah.

- Oh, come on.

Be a little braver.

- He would not get it at all.

- Come on, Max.

He might.

- Hm.

- Don't be scared of him.

You're the artist.

He's just a f***ing producer.

[both laughing]

[inquisitive music]

II:

[knocking at door]

. HEY-

. HEY-

- Where'd you get that?

- Oh, I've had it.

- Full of dead bastards,

I'd imagine.

- You're in it.

- Just bastards, then.

What're you working on?

- Just some writing.

- What sort?

- Kind of private.

- What, as in "Dear Diary,

Max here.

I'm sick as a parrot."

- No.

- Not really-

- Let's have a look.

- Hey, wait.

Hey.

- Oh, ho-ho.

Let's have a look.

Right.

"Notes for demo conversation."

- Give it back.

- "Number one, targeting

and approaching labels.

Number two, Facebook,

Twitter, dedicated url."

What the f*** is "url"?

- It's URL.

It's our f***ing website.

- Right, very savvy.

"Number 3, word of mouth-"

- Look, did you come

in here for a reason?

Or are you just

bored and looking

for somebody to f*** with?

- I'm...

I'm a very successful

producer, Max.

I know that.

- Yeah, yeah.

You're the amazing Len Black.

Everybody agrees.

- I'm not talking about me.

I'm trying to talk about you.

- Clearly.

- You know you've led

a very privileged life.

It's not your fault,

but you have.

Good schools,

teachers telling you

you can be what you want to be:

a doctor,

an astronaut, an artist.

You know, and you're

a good kid.

You are.

You always have been.

Your whole...

temperament,

your composition is balanced.

It's-it's careful.

You're like a diet drink.

The danger's been taken out

of your formula, Max.

You're like a...

Diet Dr Pepper.

- Mmm, that's

Diet Dr Pepper-

- That's what you're like, Max.

- What?

- But real rock, real...

rock and roll music

isn't a diet drink, mate.

It's a cocktail of...

blood and bourbon and napalm.

It's heat and emotion

and intensity.

It's-it's channeling

the beast from within.

It's not sitting around

with your mates,

making some form of f***ing

ironic commentary, Max.

It's religious.

It's more than religion.

[stammering]

It's-it's biological.

So there's no point in you

shoehorning yourself

into something

if in the long run,

that's all it is.

Not in your nature.

Or-or...

contrived might be

a better way of putting it.

- Contrived?

- Unnatural.

- Is-is that it?

Is that your whole-

- Apparently, you

wanted my opinion.

- Well, did you listen

to my demo?

- No.

- Yeah, so, that's really not

your opinion, then, at all.

That's just you ranting.

- I'm trying

to be helpful, Max.

- Diet Dr Pepper?

- Jesus Christ,

that's a metaphor.

- I just-l wanted you

to do one thing,

and that's listen

to my 20-minute demo

and give me your opinion on it,

but you couldn't do that.

You call me spoiled,

and you compare me

to some drink.

Do you want to know

something funny, though?

It's that my-my friends

always ask me,

like, "ls your dad really

that much of an a**hole?"

And I always tell them, like,

"No, it's just exaggeration,

but he's pretty harmless."

Well, guess what.

I've got a new answer now.

That he really is

that much of an a**hole.

[guitar strings clang]

[thud]

Man singing

f.

[acoustic guitar music]

II:

- Hey, Max.

. HEY-

What are you doing?

- It's a monarch butterfly

way station.

They're going extinct

from lack of milkweed,

so we planted a patch.

Hopefully, they'll come through

in May or June.

- Len's saving butterflies?

- I guess.

- Awesome.

II:

II:

[bright guitar strumming]

II:

- Sounds great.

You should keep playing.

- I can't remember

the rest of it.

- You do realize

you've got, like,

50 pounds of mud on you, fight'?

- Yeah, my associate,

William, and I decided

to bury some enemies

in the wood.

- Uh-oh.

Is that a warning of some kind?

- Yeah, sort of.

- [laughing]

Oh, should Max and I

be nervous?

- The piglets.

- [laughing]

You know what,

you're lucky that we're here.

[snorting]

- Why are you here, Zoe?

- L-l just-

I wanted to know

what was going on.

- You can't depend on me, Zoe.

I'm not your dad.

I'm not your mentor

or your shrink or your...

boyfriend, whatever.

I can't take care of you.

I don't want to.

It's not my job.

Look at me.

I'm ill-equipped.

I'm sorry the way

things have turned out.

I'm sorry for making you

what you are,

if that's what's

making you unhappy.

I am, but I can't help you, Zoe.

I'm not that person.

Do you understand that?

- I was not asking you to be.

But thanks for not showering me

in sunshine and snuggles,

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