Lenny Page #7

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Toward the end, he wouldn't do any bits,

he wouldn't do any jokes.

All he wanted to do was read

from the transcripts of his trials.

My first trial was in front

of a judge, no jury.

The judge was distinguished-looking.

He looked like a movie judge.

Like Andy Hardy's father.

So I said "That's cool. He'll be fair. "

Your Honour, if I might interject,

even if there were minors present,

I don't think that I said anything

that would have done them any harm.

Young man, I think you'd better

let your attorney try this case.

Now, as far as I'm concerned,

I'm ready to find you guilty right now.

However, I will grant a continuance

as you have requested.

Thank you, sir.

Now it's my understanding

that he has a performance on, uh...

- Saturday.

- .. Saturday.

Yes, sir.

I want to caution you

right now, young man,

that if I get a report that you have

repeated any of this language,

any of these words,

you'll take the consequences.

- Is that clear?

- If I repeat what words? It's all right.

If I repeat what words

specifically, Your Honour?

You say anything obscene,

and I'll take that into consideration

when I dispose of the case.

Court adjourned.

Thank you very much.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

Lenny Bruce!

Thank you. Bless you. Bless you.

That's because you're good.

Wow. Look at that. We seem

to have some company here tonight.

Could you throw the spotlight

against the wine chest?

I'd like to welcome some friends.

I think they're here.

Ah, yes, there they are.

Good evening, fellas. Hi, guys.

It's Mount Rushmore.

Could we throw the spot on the

other wall there? I think I spot two.

I'm not sure. Ah, yes, there they are!

Hi, Mickey. How's the family? OK.

Wow. Have you ever seen

so much blue in all your life?

I seem to be under a little pressure

here tonight to cool my act.

I don't know how many of you know,

but I was arrested, busted,

right here on this stage

a few nights ago, for saying... No.

I'm not gonna say it.

Let's see. It's an 11-letter word,

it starts with a "C" and ends with a "G".

And it was used... it was used

in the context of defending

a certain homosexual practice.

Actually, though, I don't relate it

only to homosexuals...

I relate it to any contemporary

woman I know! Oh, yeah.

Would know or love or marry.

- You do, too, if you're honest, right?

- Right!

OK, I'd like to ask you all

a few questions now, OK?

And you're all under oath, all of you.

Even standing room only.

How many people in this club here

tonight have ever used that word...

blah-blah-blah?

Don't be shy, you can raise

your hands. Well, that's cool.

Now let's get really honest. You, sir,

have you ever had your blah blahed?

Hm? It's either yes or no.

There's no two ways about it!

OK, how many men in this room

have ever had their blah blahed?

Raise your hands.

Oh, come on, officers.

Now you're under oath.

All right, keep your hands raised.

How many men in this room

have ever blahed a blah? Phew, man.

Somebody's not telling the truth.

OK, ma'am, tell me,

have you ever blahed a blah?

The officers couldn't see it, but she

went like this, and he went like this.

This time the whole audience

gets schlepped away, right?

This is the dirtiest show

I've ever done in my life!

This is really filth!

Now if there is anyone who has not

found this obscene, you're full of blah,

and I hope you never get your

blah blahed again! That's my show.

Thank you and good night!

Andy Hardy's father found me guilty.

One year in jail, and $1,000 fine.

Phew. So you know what we did?

We made a motion for a trial de novo.

We wanted a jury trial, figuring that

12 average members of the community

could better determine what was

obscene, as opposed to one judge.

Here is a guy that never

got past the ninth grade.

At the age of 36, he turns around,

he decides to become a lawyer.

And, I mean,

he drove his friends nuts with it.

Collecting old law books, case numbers,

newspaper clippings, you name it.

And tape. He started taping everything!

He spent $63,000 for tape recordings,

tape equipment, engineers.

He even hired a guy

to record his own trials!

Officer Ryan, were you sexually

stimulated by Mr Bruce's performance?

Irrelevant and immaterial, Your Honour.

- Overruled.

- No, sir.

Officer Ryan, have you ever used

the word "cocksucker"?

Not to my knowledge.

You are quite familiar with the term

"cocksucker", are you not?

I've heard it used.

Matter of fact, the word "cocksucker"

is frequently heard

in a police station, is it not?

Irrelevant and not germane to the issue.

The objection is overruled.

You may answer, Officer.

Could I have

the question again, please?

"Matter of fact, the word 'cocksucker'

is frequently heard

in a police station, is it not?"

I have heard it used, yes.

Yes, you have heard

the word "cocksucker"

used in a police station,

which is a public place.

I think you're all getting off on that word.

You see, Lenny Bruce's satire

is related to the kind of social satire

found in the works

of Aristophanes, Jonathan Swift...

Your Honour, Aristophanes

is not testifying here.

I don't see how he really could.

Reverend Mooney, could you give

the jury a brief summary

of your background in the

field of higher education?

Yes. I have been a Professor of Theology

for almost 12 years now.

Could you speak a little louder, sir?

Yes.

I've taught at Boston University

for three years,

Northwestern University for two years,

then UCLA for three years more,

and I am now at Berkeley.

This poor schmuck can't hold a job.

Reverend Mooney, how would

you characterise Mr Bruce's work?

Well, I think that Lenny

has a message to convey.

Now it's my turn. Would you speak

a little louder, please, Reverend?

Yes. He has a message to convey.

And he is honest and sincere about it.

The message is, I believe,

to expose and hold up American society,

so they can really see themselves.

Your Honour, I cannot hear the witness.

- Reverend.

- I'm sorry.

He uses words as weapons,

to hit people over the head with.

To make them recognise

they are being hypocritical

in every phase of their lives.

Words are his tools, and he uses them

like a carpenter uses a hammer...

Order. Order. Order.

Spectators will be seated.

Order in the court. Mr Bruce!

What was the nature of this "chant"?

Well, it was supposed to be talk

between a man and a woman,

who were... involved in the...

in the act of copulation.

"To" is a preposition. "Come" is a verb.

"To" is a preposition. "Come"

is a verb. The verb intransitive.

"To come. " I've heard these

two words my whole adult life,

and as a kid when they

thought I was sleeping.

It's been like a big drum solo.

"Did you come? Did you come good?"

"Did you come good?

Did you come good?"

"Did you come good?

Did you come good?"

"Did you come good?

Did you come good?"

"Did you come good?"

"I come better with you, sweetheart,

than anyone in the whole damn world. "

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