Leprechaun 3 Page #2

and then I set fire

to the box!

The audience goes nuts,

thinking you're in there...

being burnt alive.

I'm gonna call it

"The Burning Beauty."

(screaming)

Oh, God!

Man:
What the hell

is going on here?

Fazio, is this the fabulous stunt

you wanted me to see?

What are you, nuts?

Only a moron would

try something like this.

You believe this guy?

It'll be great. I'll make sure

she's got protection.

Forget it.

End of discussion.

I'm not taking any chances

with my future headliner.

How you're doing, babe?

You look sensational.

Now, you...

get out there and mix with

the suckers. Do something like...

do some card tricks or something.

Keep them entertained.

Out of the question!

I work the main room!

- I'm a star.

- You're a schmuck.

Now get out there

and earn your pay, Fazio.

That goes for you, too.

Break is over.

Back to work.

So, you need anything,

you know who to come to, right?

Right.

Yeah, you keep playing

hard to get,

but mark my words,

you'll come around.

I guarantee.

I saw that.

Loretta:

Rolling, rolling, rolling!

Where she stops,

nobody knows.

And winner,

winner, winner!

We have a winner!

To the sharp-dressed man!

Thank you.

You'll need a dump truck

to take it all home, Mister.

A rack for you.

Yeah, this is for you.

What a gentleman! Uh-huh!

Everyone's a winner today.

Excuse me, do you know

where I can cash a check?

Are you old enough

to be in here?

Uh... oh! Yes!

You're old enough.

Right over there.

You have a good day.

Hey, Mitch,

how's it hanging?

Hi, fellas!

Listen, not now, okay?

I've got business.

Stay here!

What are you, a 44 regular?

You know, I've got a plaid that'll

make you look 20 lbs. Younger.

What do you want, Art?

What do I want?

I want brown hair.

I want health insurance

for all Americans.

I want the Mets to get

their sh*t together.

Let's not worry about what I want,

but about what I need.

- I need my money.

- Tomorrow. Tomorrow's good.

I'll stop by your store,

we'll take care of everything.

- Tell him.

- Okay? Excuse me.

Look sharp, be sharp.

No, tell him the other thing,

the threat thing.

Oh...

You pay Arthur the money

you owe him,

or I will kill you.

That's good.

What are you, tough guys?

I got hemorrhoids tougher than you.

Hey!

On the other hand, why don't

we meet a little later...

over by the cashier's cage?

How about 10:
00?

It's good for me if it's good for you.

your break?

- 9:
30.

- 9:
30 to 9:45? Can you make it?

- Sure.

- Okay, 10:
00 is good.

- You mind?

- Yeah.

You buy off the rack,

that's what happens.

I could've taken him.

No, no, he couldn't.

You, bigger.

Loretta:
Get 'em down,

before the wheel goes 'round.

We're gonna have somebody lucky

before the night is over.

You feelin' lucky?

You feelin' lucky, sugar?

What you gonna do

with all that, huh?

I believe I'll try this one.

Dangerous man, I like it.

And the wheel goes round and round,

no more bets, no more bets.

(creaking)

(belching)

Ah!

There was an old man of Madras

whose balls were made of fine brass,

so, in stormy weather,

they both clanged together,

and sparks flew

out of his ass.

(laughing)

I'm finding this to be a very funny

and poetic leprechaun.

I'm glad you liked it, lad.

Now you left the door open,

so I assumed you wanted to see me.

Yes, I'm wanting

to discuss things with you.

- For instance?

- I want to negotiate.

I am for giving you

this medallion,

which you are terribly,

terribly afraid of,

for half your gold.

Half me gold

for a worthless medallion?!

This is my final offer!

You are taking it or leaving it.

You got a deal, lad.

Now, put it away,

why don't you?

Perhaps I'll do

a little fishing.

I told you a terrible lie,

and now you're going to die.

We got a winner!

I can't...

I can't believe it!

How could this happen to me?

Place your bets, place your bets.

Tough luck, kid.

So, you gonna bet or what?

Get 'em down.

You want me to bet?

I had $23,000.

So? Looks like you got

a couple hundred.

You can get hot.

Get 'em down, get 'em down.

Big spender, big spender.

And the wheel goes round

and round and round, get 'em down.

There you go.

(mild applause)

(music plays)

(music stops)

(tape rewinding)

(music resumes)

(mild applause)

- Where the hell were you?

- I told you,

the trap door

keeps getting stuck.

That's what I get for working at

a dump like this, nothing works.

Get away from me!

Get away from me!

No more bets, no more bets!

Feelin' lucky,

Mr. Big Time Spender?

Here she's dropping...

Oh! Green, double zero!

The house makes out.

Sorry, folks!

What have I done?

I'm ruined, I'm finished.

What, are you kidding me?

You're due, you're gonna make it big.

- Place your bets!

- What?!

Trust me.

Bad streak of luck like that,

no way you're gonna lose.

Get 'em down

before the wheel goes around!

Oh, yeah, trust me.

But I don't have

any more money.

Nice watch there.

Could bring a nice chunk o'change.

My grandpa gave me this watch,

for graduation.

Make him proud.

Make a comeback. Win!

Pawn shop across the street,

tell 'em Loretta sent you.

Get 'em down, get 'em down!

- Ha!

- Ow!

Where's me shilling?

I want me shilling!

Help!

No! No! No!

Tell me where it is,

or by me sainted mother,

I'll strangle you!

This must be the place.

This is your last chance.

I'm warning you.

I want me shilling!

Oh, no!

What was I thinking?

With all this killing,

I've lost me shilling!

Hello!

Anybody here?

Hello?

Oh, my God!

Oh, man!

I thought I had problems.

Operator, listen,

I'm in a pawn shop

across the street from

the Lucky Shamrock Casino.

And I found a dead person.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Yeah.

All right,

I'll wait right here.

Computer:
A leprechaun

is very territorial.

He can never tolerate another

leprechaun crossing his boundaries.

One leprechaun

can be aggravating,

but two can be devastating.

With that in mind,

let's review what we've learned

about leprechauns.

Number one,

his power lies in his gold.

Without it, he's just another gnome

full of mischief.

Number two,

each of his gold shillings

will bring a wish come true

to anyone who possesses them.

A wish, huh?

I wish I was back at the casino

on a winning streak.

Aargh!

I've lost him!

He's got me shilling!

He's got me shilling!

What the heck

am I doing here?

There are no other bets,

no other bettors.

Just the house

and the golden boy!

He's riding seven red,

let's see how lucky he gets.

(cheers)

Oh, hell!

The seven red!

We got a winner!

You gonna let that ride,

golden boy?

And the luckiest man in Las Vegas

puts the whole load on 13 black.

nobody else is betting.

Ah! Lovely golden palaces

completely full of riches,

I'll rip them off and rob them blind,

those dirty sons of b*tches!

- Yeah!

- Oh, oh, oh! Black 13!

Another winner,

another winner!

This guy's got

a hell of a winning streak.

Winning streak.

I wished for a winning streak!

What the hell is going on here?

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