Les femmes sont folles

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Ladies and gentlemen,

You owe thanks to the present owner of the chateau

Mr Hector Robilleau,

(inventor of the Robilleau DeLuxe

for the artistic and historic

enjoyment of your visit.

You should also show your gratitude

by not forgetting the caretaker,

in the person of yours truly,

who will be taking you through history.

Through here ladies and gentlemen.

- Monsieur?

- Good morning.

- What's going on?

They phoned to say you left

your briefcase at the factory, sir.

Listen, old boy,

we aren't going back 10 k's...

it's already 1.45.

We're on holiday.

I won't be back there for 8 days.

Ask Miss Eliane

to bring it to me.

- Very well, sir.

- I've no intention of opening it,

but I've always got it with me...

makes me look important !

Tourists again !

My dear Gaston, I've bought an historic chateau...

the chateau's mine,

but its history belongs to everyone

and I like educating the masses.

Educated people don't

start a revolution.

- Oh, my statue !

- The masses had a hand in it !

In 1763, the Chteau des Fontenelles

was occupied by Jean-Jacques Rousseau,

the first man of letters

to see red.

You will notice that the great Rousseau

wears an ironic expression.

He seems to be saying to the tyrants -

"Tremble ! Your reign is over.

The revolution is nigh !"

Through here ladies and gentlemen.

Don't push in !

That takes the cake !

Is the doctor here yet?

- Yes. Ages ago.

- I thought so.

Ah, bonjour.

Morning, doctor.

You're not to play jazz

on Rousseau's harpsichord.

- All hail, Hector !

- Call me daddy.

I'm too old for that.

Hello, little one.

Hi, daddy.

- Hi, kids !

- HELLO, GASTON !

- Sorry we're so late.

- Don't mention it.

What's that?

A package for your wife.

I should've known.

'Women for the Taking',

'Something Special',

'Who Gets the Blonde ?'

'The Earth a Moon'.

- What a load of crap !

- Something to read.

Where's Marguerite?

I haven't seen her.

Sit down. She'll catch up...

I'm famished.

You sit there doctor.

I'll sit next to daddy.

Two o'clock.

Eating in public yet again.

Looks like it.

This way !

Through here ladies and gentlemen.

The young lady who just left

is Monsieur Robilleau's daughter.

This work by Nattier,

is Madame de Coss-Brissac.

This desk is the one where

the great writer Robert Patrick,

who was the previous

owner of the chateau,

wrote his famous novel

'The Earth as Moon',

and 'Who's the Beautiful Blonde?'

A rather mysterious mist

surrounds this recent author.

Nobody's seen sight of him.

We only know he lived

in this chateau

before vanishing completely.

Anyone wanting to smoke

is asked to please go outside.

Here Rousseau would have said to Voltaire...

don't take me for an idiot.

I know what I'm talking about.

Oh, here you are at last.

Good day, doctor.

Good day, dear friend.

Don't get up.

Might you be kind enough to say

where you've been?

In the small office.

There are 5 small offices.

Robert Patrick's.

There's just an hour for lunch.

So we won't call it lunch.

No accounting for women.

Through here ladies and gentlemen

Here's a most representative work

of the minor 18th century masters.

A picnic lunch arranged by

the Baroness de Warens

with whom Rousseau

got along very well indeed.

And here we have the Robilleau family

at lunch, too.

The gent at the head of the table

is Robilleau himself,

the man who invented

the 3-speed vacuum-cleaner.

The one jumping up and down is his son-in-law

and business associate.

Thanks to him the Robilleau DeLuxe

will get a reverse gear.

The one he's addressing,

is the doctor

who cared for Madame Robilleau,

now deceased and sadly missed.

Excuse me.

It's insane, this is a chateau...

not a zoo.

Before you know,

they'll be tossing us bread.

Their appreciation of my treasures

warms my heart.

When I think of little me

stretched on the sofa,

where Jean-Jacques Rousseau

himself lay.

It's like wearing a hat of Napoleon's.

Or the sword of Damocles.

Through here ladies and gentlemen.

At least Jean-Jacques Rousseau

is dead.

You won't risk falling in love with him,

like with Robert Patrick.

Through here ladies and gentlemen.

Would the last through

be good enough to close the door.

Rousseau signed 'The Social Contract'

with this pen.

- No!

- I can't buy it ?

Don't be crazy.

It's a museum piece.

Couldn't I make an offer?

No, I'm not for sale,

monsieur.

I didn't want you

I wanted the quill pen.

No. Nothing doing.

Through here ladies and gentlemen.

And here we have the vacuum cleaners

down the years.

Much trial and error

leading to the great discovery

of the Robilleau DeLuxe,

the vacuum cleaner everybody wants.

Fans might like to admire

the prototype designs.

Ladies and gents...

here the artist has painted,

the famous Hector Robilleau himself

at the moment

he seized upon his original idea

of a silent 3-speed vacuum cleaner,

the Robilleau DeLuxe.

Dull eyes...stupid expression.

Someone who sells vacuum-cleaners !

So here now,

pairing with the famed industrialist,

is the Marshal de Saxe.

Now would you all please come into

the Blue Lounge.

Now, this pen's got to have a price !

I can certainly see

that you're a connoisseur, sir.

I have to ask myself

"Would Rousseau approve?".

Let's say 6,000.

- Zank you !

- Entirely welcome.

Au revoir.

Au revoir.

You can admire a Louis XV clock

on the mantelpiece.

No. Thanks.

Dessert?

I've got printing plates to fix.

No holidays for me.

My dear Gaston,

I bet when Gutenberg said

he wanted to invent the printing press,

his father was also dismissive.

Now he'd change his tune.

Emile's not Gutenberg.

No, he's a Robilleau.

And we Robilleaus are

self-made men.

Go through here for the tour.

This chateau may well fall down.

- But...

- You're the owner?

- I have that honour.

- How can you say that, you bastard.

- Who is this maniac ?

- I'm Captain Cabriac.

- Don't know any Cabriac.

- How about my wife?

- Your wife?

- Suzette.

- Lovely name.

- I'm just back from the colonies.

- That explains it...the sun....

- You weren't expecting me?

- No.

And what do I find

after being away for 2 years?

This letter...

Where is it ?

The letter where my wife

confessed everything.

You can't deny it.

You sure you got

the right place?

"I've decided to make a new life.

"I love Robert Patrick.

'Bye, cuckold."

No! Me a cuckold ?

You think it's funny?

You've got a hide, the lot of you.

Here's my card.

I'm not Robert Patrick.

- You're not Robert Patrick?

- No.

- I'm Robilleau.

- What a shame.

- I would've killed you with pleasure.

- How nice !

Why did she leave me ?

She's such a sweetie, and such a good cook.

- I've got her right under my skin.

- Right under ?

I shouldn't have trusted a schoolteacher.

We really don't care.

But I'll find her,

and they'll pay

"Cuckold"!.

Do we what became of

Robert Patrick...

I like the monastery story.

It's the most exciting version.

Exciting? His sort would want to

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