Les femmes sont folles Page #2

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to go on a voyage

with his woman.

That'd be safest.

That woman followed him for love.

Leaving behind

an unhappy wretch.

All women are there for the taking,

if you can't take care of them.

And where are the morals in that?

Life is a jungle.

Man is the hunter, woman the game.

The game goes to the most skilful hunter.

Figure for yourself.

Oh, Marguerite... Marguerite!.

There you are. You work for 30 years

and you find your daughter's

turned into a savage...

-Marguerite.

Listen, Marguerite.

Marguerite!. Marguerite!.

Are you going to let me in?

Open the door.

Let me in darling.

Listen, Marguerite.

Listen to me,

I mightn't have always

been very pleasant.

But you're my life, my darling.

Believe me, happiness

is a state of calm, safety,

maybe even boredom.

That's quite possible.

But it's happiness all the same.

Don't throw it away,

don't look down on it.

It's too hard to come by,

too easily broken.

Through here,

ladies and gentlemen.

Through here, ladies and gentlemen.

The tour is finished.

Don't forget the Robilleau DeLuxe

is the finest vacuum cleaner

and generosity

the finest of the virtues.

Thank you madame, monsieur.

Don't forget your guide !

I'll never be a 'man of prey', darling,

I'm just a man.

You say life's a jungle?

I'd like to make it a garden,

full of birds and sweet smells,

a garden for you my darling.

- What are you doing here?

- Writing an epitaph.

Where are you going?

I respect your independence.

You can respect mine.

Marguerite, do you love me?

Yes...I love you...you love me...

we love each other...

'Bye.

'Bye.

I must be off.

Patients to see.

You should be seeing my wife.

Robert Patrick has sent her potty,

not for the first time.

The 3 o'clock batch.

This isn't a chateau, it's Luna Park.

Luckily my car's out there.

Are you the guide?

No, I'm Jean-Jacques Rousseau.

Oh, I'm so glad to see you,

Mr Rousseau.

What's going on?

Just a tick, ladies and gents.

A little discipline, please.

The 1 o'clock coach to the right,

the 3 o'clock coach to the left.

A little discipline, please.

The 1 o'clock coach to the right,

the 3 o'clock coach to the left.

Good afternoon.

A letter for you.

It's for your lady.

- I'd very much like to open it.

- I can see that.

Would you open it?

I'm not married.

But if i was, I wouldn't open it

because I wouldn't be jealous.

And I wouldn't be jealous,

because my wife 'd be ugly. Very ugly.

That's why I'm not married.

You certainly give unique advice.

Bugger it !...I'll open it.

Oh, this for instance.

This is shameful.

You shouldn't have opened it

Listen...

"Green Monkey Publishing. Madame,

We regret we are unable

"to send you a photograph

of the author Robert Patrick.

"This writer refuses any interview

"and only wants to be

known by his work.

"Few people can claim

to know his face.

"We remain, etc. etc.,

"Yours faithfully..."

What an idiotic publicity stunt.

If it was only some crooner...

but an author,

don't you see?

It's getting serious.

D'you think she's in love?

It's what's known as a psychopathic fixation.

It can be cured.

But how ?

Cold showers, ear-massages,

electroshock.

Well, that's just great !

Oh no. It's not true!

Gaston.

- Great to see you.

- For me too.

It really does me good to see you.

I feel better already.

But you haven't changed.

Thanks - you neither...

maybe a tad plumper.

Nothing of any importance !

It's like finding two old friends

instead of one!

Ah, good old 'Uncle', eh?

- You don't remember?

- Oh yes.

Good old Uncle !

And that jalopy with the horn !

Through here ladies and gentlemen.

Through here ladies and gentlemen.

- You get a good crowd.

- Don't start me on that.

We can have some quiet

through here.

It's the only room

where I can get a bit of quiet.

Sit down there.

- You've got it nice in here.

- It's not bad.

Why haven't you written?

I would've loved to follow your adventures.

- "My adventures", old chap...

- You've been fooling around in South America?

I nearly stayed there.

When I say stay,

I mean in the sense of a corpse staying.

Our tour got mixed up

with a revolution.

Actually it went off first.

They had just shot

the theatre manager.

I thought they might at least clap.

No way.

The smashed up everything without clapping.

What a public !

I like Clermont-Ferrand better.

At least,

there's no one in the audience.

Finally, I landed in Hollywood.

I drowned in 'After Me, The Deluge'.

I look a bit green :

it's in Technicolor.

Good to be back in France, eh?

All I have left

are the clothes on my back.

Not so bad !

- And my talent, of course.

- In short, you're flat broke.

Good old Gaston, still the same !

Yes I am. And I intend getting into debt

without delay.

- Why?

- No thanks.

- 'Cos I've come to put the bite on you.

- I won't let you down.

- I'll find you a job at the factory.

- Thanks old chap, you haven't changed.

You've done well for yourself.

You really did marry

the vacuum-cleaners !

Do you really have any competition

in the sweeping business ?

But you seem a bit strange.

Happiness hasn't caught up with you?

- "Happiness"?

- Doesn't all this make you happy?

- I love Marguerite.

- Aha!...and your wife's jealous.

"Jealous" of who?

De Marguerite.

- It's Marguerite who's my wife.

- Then everything's for the best.

No. Marguerite loves someone else.

- So she's deceiving you.

- No !...well, sort of.

- How's that work...one day out of two ?

- Please don't make fun of it !

- She loves Robert Patrick.

- Don't know him.

- Nor do I, nor does she.

- He's a myth?

I knew a woman who

was in love with a myth...a cute little car.

He's not a myth,

he's a big-name novelist.

She wrote to his publisher

to get his photo.

- No?

- Yes.

It just struck me.

Maybe you can save me.

- Me?

- Yes, do you have a photo of yourself?

Did you ever hear of an entertainer without a photo?

I've got a truck-load.

- That's all I've got.

- Show me.

I'll lay some out.

Like I did with the savages.

In the mountains.

How would you like me?

Russian peasant, as Hamlet,

Perlican, Cyrano,

the unnatural father?

"Unnatural father"...not bad.

Silly stuff.

I'm going to give you the chance

to play the role of your life.

Finally !

- Can I count on you ?

- Listen, old boy.

After what you've offered me,

I couldn't refuse...

Hang on a sec...

You're going to play Robert Patrick.

In the artistic scheme of things,

that's not very appealing.

What if I throw in

say...300,000 francs?

I didn't say "at any price"!

Here's the program.

I stick your photo in an envelope

with a fake letter

from the publishers.

I send the letter to my wife.

And this evening,

you come to the chateau,

on the pretext that you've come

to look for some lost inspiration.

- Then ?

- What do you mean "then"?

To turn my wife right off you,

making Robert Patrick

a horrible,

crude, pretentious, drunkard.

Impossible to like.

That's a very clever idea.

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