Les femmes sont folles Page #3

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It's not quite in my line,

because I usually play...

It'll be fun... I'll try my best.

- How do you want him to look ?

- You're the expert.

How about a monocle, for example?

- No, too distinguished.

- No trouble.

Glasses better?

Too bourgeois.

- Like this?

- Professor.

The mouth a bit twisted ?

A bit of a squint ?

- Don't make him attractive.

- That's what makes it hard for me.

- What if I give him a beard?

- Oh no.

- But it ruins my looks.

- It's too risky.

- Why? Because of germs?

- It can fall off.

- Oh! I've got an idea.

- What ?

You look like a seal.

It's morally necessary

to sabotage this guy, right?

I'll do it cleanly.

- Just give him a moustache.

- You think so?...wait...

We'll make him a military author.

There's an advance of

- 100,000 and I'll be an assassin.

- Calm down you dope.

Wow, get a load of that !

- That's my wife.

Out of sight.

- Your shot, mile.

Try to play properly.

Yes, Hector.

You seem to be

in very good spirits, Gaston.

The prospect of a few days off

really appeals to me.

- You want something?

- No.

Mariette, did you

give Mrs Baudouin her letter?

Yes sir, she was very pleased.

No need to comment, Mariette.

Some good news ?

Lucie sent me a photo

of her little dog.

- Wasn't that nice of her ?

- Yes, very nice indeed.

Mariette, fetch me my scarf,

I'm cold.

Yes, madame.

Aren't you feeling well, darling?

It's cold in this house.

I'm going to bed.

- A small brandy to warm you up?

- No.

Mr

Robert Patrick.

I offer my respects, ladies. Gentlemen.

I've heard a lot about you.

Robilleau, of Robilleau DeLuxe.

- The vacuum-cleaner?

- Yes.

Hello...congratulations.

- So how's business?

- Not bad thanks...yours?

So-so... Maybe you're wondering

about my visit?

Just a pilgrimage.

I happened to be passing.

- I'm the man who passes.

- Ah.

I'm just in from China.

The women there are communists.

They wanted to share me.

It's exhausting.

Then I remembered this old chateau

that'd been mine.

It's still yours.

You would honour me

by regarding it as such.

You're the White Knight

of the vacuum-cleaner.

Lets not exaggerate...

I accept in all humility.

This is all yours?

Yes, my little family.

Together with my eldest daughter

Marguerite Baudouin.

- Sir.

- You're quite charming dear lady.

You have the face of the virgin

in Memling's tryptich...doesn't she?

With the expression of one of

Fra Angelico's angels.

As for the base of the throat,

wait...

Someone's got a cold ?

Must be the husband.

May I present my son-in-law.

I'd guessed as much.

He looks the part...exactly.

- Delighted !

- Enraptured !

I don't like what you write

or how you write it.

I know what you mean.

My work is aimed at a rather...

enlightened readership.

Well I never !...

let me introduce my youngest,

Genevive.

- Pleased to meet you.

- Delighted.

- I don't remind you of a painting ?

- No, you're too young.

This is my son, mile.

Pleased to meet you.

There's Mariette.

Cut it out, papa.

- What is it ?

- I've got Mrs Baudouin's scarf.

Take it back, Mariette,

I'm dying of heat.

- You wanted it.

- You never understand.

I'm not here to understand.

This little one is absolutely charming.

- Because she's simple?

- No...because she knows it herself.

Now I think I might get myself

a little sloshed.

- Perfecto !

- You like cognac ?

Yes, but especially the morning,

on an empty stomach.

- Tell me dear sir,

I'd just like to say...

- Excuse me.

A little while ago, we had a visit

that concerns you.

- Cabriac.

- "Cabriac"? Of course, old Cabriac!

How's old Cabriac going?

- He knows everything.

- "Knows everything"?

That doesn't surprise me.

Cabriac's quite a worker.

- He'll go far.

- Not as far as his wife.

- Oh, let's hope so.

- Oh yes, let's hope so.

Very funny. Let's hope

not as far as his wife.

So, Mrs Cabriac's pretty hot stuff, eh?

- Papa, that's a bit tasteless.

- Just between men.

The captain's made enough noise about it

for it not to be a secret.

- You got away ?

- From the captain ?

- No. His wife.

- "His wife"? oh...yes, of course.

Captains wives...

- I'd come for a fight.

- Why ?

To soften her up.

I couldn't stand a man

who hit me

She knows nothing about life.

- Just a child.

- Of course.

- It's obvious.

She's a virgin.

- She isn't a virgin?

- Come come!...Yes.

I'm keeping you up perhaps

and you must be tired.

Very tired.

Yes, now that you mention it...

Do you have a new project

in the pipeline?

To sleep...as long as possible.

So we'll follow you.

You know the way.

Oh yes...of course I know it.

But...

I'm going to act

as if I didn't know.

I like to play games.

Aspiration followed by inspiration.

- It's a saying.

- It's charming.

Oh...now I understand !

We all get there eventually.

Tell me how you go about

getting so much life into you !

I take special lessons.

- Going OK?

- It's too soft.

You're only a bit boorish.

You've got to be despicable.

Tomorrow I'll come down in my underpants.

But I have lovely legs.

You dopey guy.

What's all that ?

- These are your complete works.

- I say old boy....

- Yes, you have to read them.

- Marguerite knows them off by heart.

- It's interesting stuff, at least?

- It's completely idiotic.

- Hi, darling.

- Good evening.

- You reading Robert Patrick ?

- Yes.

- Morning, Claude.

- G'day.

- You look a bit off...are you?

- Not at all.

I've read my works. 48 mistresses

in one night. Can you imagine ?

- How's the charming Genevive going ?

- On horseback.

What do you mean ?

- She rides every morning.

- Ah, nice.

- Good idea...me too.

- Since when ?

- Since tomorrow morning.

You mustn't leave the chateau.

Don't take any risks.

And the task at hand...

get into it right away.

- If it's going wrong, I'll be on to it.

- How will you do that?

Let me see now...

I'll sing !

That won't seem suspicious.

- You never heard yourself sing.

- Careful, they're coming.

Don't worry...

as long as you're paying.

- Good morning, how are you?

- Not bad, thanks.

Inspiration alive and well ?

You tell me.

Meantime you're standing on my serviette.

Sorry.

Coffee, sir ?

Papa, would you get me a chair?

OK.

- There's nothing you need, I hope?

- A portable radio at the foot of my bed.

No trouble.

Papa will give you his.

Oh...all right...

anything you want.

And paint my bedroom walls.

- That gives me inspiration.

- Oh...good.

What colour inspires you

the most?

It's not a question of colour,

dear lady,

it's the smell of the paint !

- Perfect, perfect.

You like that jam?

Yes, it really hits the spot.

Bonjour, Hector.

Bonjour, papa.

Has our resident author,

slept well ?

"Slept"?

Snored, dear lady.

- So you snore?

- Always.

To the extent of putting

cotton wool in my ears

so I don't wake myself up.

- You're a real live wire.

- Aren't I just ?

- Have you got back some inspiration?

- Oh yes.

Since I've been here

I've had an idea for a new novel.

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