Les femmes sont folles Page #4

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It's set in the home

of a narrow-minded bourgeois type.

He made his fortune

in ball-point pens.

She is beautiful

but stupid.

- That sounds so true.

- It's from real life.

My hero comes home,

then the idiotic wife

goes to join him in the bedroom

stark naked under her fur coat.

- Oh my goodness !

- Oh yes !

My hero takes off her coat,

and the idiotic wife jumps out the window.

I'm here.

I'm looking for more.

Have you found a title for it?

- Shut up, doll !

- I beg your pardon !

- You asked me for the title.

- Fine.

There is also a young girl

who rides horses.

- You like horses ?

- No I like young girls.

- On those words full of future promise

I'm going to have a game of billiards.

- We'll have to start calling you Robilliards.

- What do you mean by that?

- Just a play on words.

Charming.

I need to see you, Gaston.

I'm going to bore you

with my questions.

Doesn't matter.

I only answer questions I like.

You see, I've been blown away

by Tamara Gordine's letters.

You think it's inspired.

I always wondered

how you were able to identify

with this abandoned woman.

Me too.

Sorry...it's quite simple.

Quite simple for you perhaps.

But setting down such pain...

These are the letters of a mistress,

a charming woman

from whom I parted.

- Why ?

- She snored even louder than me.

It was hell.

We understood.

So you broadcast this woman's pain

to the world?

I write with blood,

not with face-cream.

She could have committed suicide.

She did.

- That's monstrous !

- Gassed herself.

Be quiet !

Did I tell you

what I think of women?

They are the prey,

man is the hunter.

This is despicable, disgusting.

I think it's true.

I find it hard to believe.

That's because you still

haven't been freed

from your petit-bourgeois

prejudices

This all feels so

back-of-the-shop !

Hi.

Where were you ?

- I was out with Charlemagne.

- Who ?

My horse.

Hi, Pop !

Hi sweetie.

What's up with you all ?

Our writer friend thought it was amusing

that a woman killed herself on his account .

- Gassed herself.

- That's frightful.

But thank God

I was able to save her in time.

Not at all.

You said she was dead.

- I never said that.

- You did, you did !

No...Im the one

that knows about it.

Was it your mistress

or mine ?

It's true.

And since he was able to save her...

I'm not a monster.

According to you

women are just prey.

You didn't get it, did you?

It was a quotation.

This is hardly a time for singing.

Especially that tune.

It calms me down.

I'd rather tell you the truth.

I wanted to try something...

I set out to shock you, deliberately.

- "deliberately"?

- Yes.

To help with my new novel

I wanted to see a woman's reactions

to what a sadist might do.

You had me frightened...

since I admire you so much.

It was quite an experience.

- You're quite a character.

You had me fooled.

- Doesn't work with me.

- What do you mean?

- I mean to say...

- It's OK.

I'm going to scribble a few notes.

You've written a bit

of my next novel.

See you.

I'll introduce you

to Charlemagne.

Do you like chestnuts?

- I have a feeling I'm going to.

- Come on then.

Once again, sorry about

the little experiment.

- He's such a charmer !

- He's a crook.

Charlemagne is a

funny sort of horse.

He has his moods.

- He's in a good school.

- What's that mean ?

If you told him about me

I don't think he'll like me.

I think you're better

than your books.

Find something better

to compare me with.

Good morning, Charlemagne.

Look at me why don't you.

Oh, he's nice.

I think he likes me.

- Because he can't read !

- How about you ?

- Me?...I know.

- That's not what I'm asking.

Aside from your novels,

there are two things I dislike:

your cynicism

and your moustache.

You're in luck,

because everything's fake.

It's better leave it as a surprise.

Quite a surprise.

How many did you get ?

Ten on his own

and two with my sister.

- When d'you get them back ?

- Four days.

I'm going to run off a thousand.

Get going.

- So you got the photos ?

- This is them, old boy.

- Wanna see a sample?

- Show me.

How many you got ?

They should go for 100 francs.

Yes, at least.

It'll be better than Rousseau's pen.

You bet.

- As usual, fifty-fifty?

- Sure.

Here come our first customers.

- Go on, do your thing.

- Trust me.

I should say...

Sorry, excuse me...'phone.

My respects, General.

That's too kind.

That's very nice of you.

Thanks, General.

- You've lost your moustache!

- I couldn't smoke a cigar.

I organised it with moustache.

Is this to seduce my wife ?

It's true your wife's

awfully cute.

- You've got good taste.

- I don't need advice from you.

You gave me a job being a boor

to a pretty woman like that.

That makes it a character part.

It has to be nuanced, delicate.

Just leave it to me.

In all the time you've been here,

you haven't disgusted anyone,

and even Genevive,

who hates Robert Patrick's novels,

seems to like you.

- Really ?

- Listen, I'm not stupid.

- I wish it was true.

You got it in.

That's it...I got the General.

- "The General"?

- For the reunion this evening.

It's a surprise.

Marguerite, we've got the General.

We wanted it to be a surprise

for Mr Patrick.

Your mail.

You've shaved your moustache !

A day full of surprises :

a moustache, a general.

It suits you better

doesn't it Gaston?

If you have a moustache, you keep it.

It's a matter of honesty.

- You really are crazy.

- Don't make me grow one.

What do you want ?

I've just come to ask...

Oh, You don't have your

moustache any more, sir !

It looks better like that.

Go on, get out of here.

- What's up with Gaston?

- I think he likes moustaches too much,

it's gone to...

- You nearly got that.

- Yes I know.

Your turn Patrick.

No thanks.

You're too good for me.

Where are you going ?

I'll maybe get my reward.

The Chinese vase you see

is actually Kurdish.

It's Robert Patrick!

I see you like

'The Earth as Moon'.

It's my best novel.

He's amoral, cynical,

but rather nice.

An autograph.

So lively, dynamic...

I haven't got a photo.

I have one or two left...wait on.

Something for everybody.

Through here ladies and gentlemen.

They really are mad.

They almost suffocated me.

Here we are in trouble.

That idiot Justin

who's selling your photos.

mile took them.

He's the PR genius.

- He'll go a long way.

- He'll go to the devil.

My dear sir,

if you please.

Marguerite's through there.

I'll leave you in Dr Dufresnoy's

capable hands.

Have them play

a military march.

Where's our author ?

Everything'll be ruined.

He'll become friendly.

He's a lovely man.

You could say he's two men in one.

Where's Genevive ?

She's gone to get

the cards for bridge.

I'll go see her.

Look after the General.

Not like that...

that's not the right way.

I'll try it with this.

You were strange during dinner.

You noticed ?

You have pretty hands.

I don't think

you're very sincere.

I don't think so either.

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