Les gamins

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1

Let's hear it

for the bride and groom!

How much d'you want

to lick his armpits?

A little song that I'm very fond of

since it's called I Love You.

I love you

IL-O-V-E Y-O-U

You love me

Y-O-U L-O-V-E M-E

Let's give a big hand to Thomas

who just performed

a song he wrote himself.

Thank you.

Now let's hear it for the newlyweds,

Jeanne and Sbastien!

Cute little song.

Children love it.

Thank you.

How much d'you want

to wear that dress for a whole week?

Got a light?

The old lighter trick.

I know it. A classic.

Don't worry,

you're not my type at all.

So what is your type?

I don't know...

Blond, blue eyes, fairly muscular,

elegant,

with dimples when he smiles.

And rich, with property.

That's me to a T.

Exactly.

That's tough

because you're not my type.

I like tall, busty blondes.

I'm really not tempted.

No misunderstandings then.

I'll take your number

in case I really have

nothing to do one evening

or for a pal...

An ugly one.

One date with you, I'd get nauseous.

Nauseous?

Well... I sh*t on you!

I went a bit far there?

It's true!

Rich folks' kids are better looking?

You bet.

Rich guys marry beautiful women.

Beautiful wives mean beautiful kids.

- Bullshit!

- No, it's logical.

My parents aren't rich,

so I'm not beautiful?

You're no hottie, true.

Next time,

warn me I'm about to kiss a troll.

Franois Hollande's double

David Guetta's double

THE BRATS:

Explain all this.

Later.

I had a ton of work this weekend.

Was this that urgent?

I want to meet your parents.

Just like that?

Damn, that's for us.

Sh*t!

Here. They won't search you.

What is this? What's in it?

I'll explain.

You're scaring me!

Good evening.

Please get out of the car.

Of course.

And the lady...

Do I need to search her too?

Here we go.

So what's this for?

Lola,

I know what a burden I am.

I lie around the house,

I work nights...

But I'm going to grow up now.

I want to meet your parents.

I want to marry you.

Lola...

Will you marry me?

You goddam maniac!

Yes, I'll marry you!

You'd have ratted me out!

- Hi, honey!

- Hi, Mom.

You must be Thomas.

Mom...

You wear nail varnish now?

Is it ok if I call you Tom?

Sometimes...

Hi, Dad!

Hiya, sweetie.

That's her father.

Glued to the TV.

The joy of my life!

Good evening.

Hi, kid.

He sold his firm, see.

He's bored.

Most NGOs don't have skills

in drinking water and drainage.

We work closely

with specialized companies.

Even if we subcontract,

we follow each expense.

We're in Haiti,

Chad and Cte d'lvoire.

The footage is familiar

but don't...

I mean, people imagine...

Water for Africa,

plonk for me.

Right, it's not one of your wines

at 500 euros a bottle.

I think of others

when I use our money.

Our money?

I sold my company, now they profit!

Enough!

Well, this really proves...

Great...

Nothing.

Since everyone's so relaxed,

I'll tell you our news.

We're getting married.

What?

Is that true?

That's wonderful! I'm so happy!

We barely know you.

We have to catch up.

Tell us what you do.

Lola said you play in a band?

Yes, but with marriage

and new responsibilities,

I've decided to get serious.

I've applied to a debt recovery firm.

Nothing very exciting

but with regular hours.

I didn't know you'd applied!

I wanted to surprise you.

So cute!

Brown-noser...

It's upsetting.

He seems totally depressed.

Want to play porn stars?

Yeah.

What's my name?

Mitch.

Mitch Cum.

I'm doing my best,

I'm no porn expert!

It's not the weather report.

Want the finish?

- Good night.

- Good night, Mitch honey.

How's it going?

Hi.

He was in my year at Harvard.

What?

Just kidding...

Not your usual Harvard guy...

I'm splitting.

I'm sorry?

I'm sick of this house,

of her pissing me off...

I'm outta here.

How about getting some air?

We could do the shopping.

Ok. I'll drive.

Let me help you.

I did yours while I was doing mine.

It needed it!

Hello.

Say hello to Gilbert.

Hello, Gilbert.

Who was that?

The neighbor. I hate his guts.

Mr. Squeaky Clean.

I bet he's a pervert

who screws his dog.

Sh*t!

Can you see?

Perfectly!

I think old people

should retake their driving test.

Young people

should shut their mouth.

I passed it before you were born!

Precisely.

You can always walk.

It's ok, quit being a drag.

Goddam virgin.

Quinoa, tofu,

wakame puree...

I'm shopping for the Dalai Lama!

Try to relax, sir.

Cut the "sir", I'm not ancient!

Here we go,

just what Grandpa needs!

Sure, jerk!

Good morning.

What do you have to offer?

Try the Chteau Fabien 2007.

That's the Chteau Fabien?

I've heard a lot about it.

It's an elegant wine

with a fruity undercurrent.

Very elegant!

A very handsome youngster.

A pretty boy like you.

Irresistible.

What do you know? It's vinegar.

Right.

No good. Fabien?

- Fabien no good.

- No good at all.

Knock it back. Loosen up.

He needs something more relaxing.

Maybe a rejuvenating wine?

Very funny. Watch it, ok.

I don't really know what you mean.

That looks good.

It's not on offer today.

Don't be a b*tch.

One for the road!

Just one then.

I have to work.

Cheers!

It's good.

Sh*t... We're late.

Nico!

- Thanks, guys.

- Nico, pal...

We'll split the list.

That way...

You did a Suzanne.

What?

Suzanne never finishes a sentence.

She starts, you wait,

and then nothing...

You noticed that?

I thought no one but me had.

It gets me so mad!

And she always uses chopsticks!

"It's handier."

No way!

They're two bits of wood!

- This isn't China.

- It isn't China!

Listen to me.

My wife, ok?

My daughter,

that woman shopping over there,

the other one getting stuff...

they're all ball-busters.

They get you high

but it's hell being hooked.

It's true. Listen.

Don't get married.

Understand?

If you want a halfway decent life,

don't get married!

When I'm drunk,

I like to feel myself.

Is Dad always like that?

I don't know. I ignore him.

Look.

I've been saving up

for a well in Burkina Faso.

You know it's a landlocked country?

They've been trying to dig wells

for years now.

It's crazy.

Life expectancy there is 48 years.

It's crazy, it's crazy.

It's crazy!

Can you help me?

Little Gilbert's parents

are at the checkout.

Little Gilbert.

Here's my son!

I smell hashish.

"Hashish"?

Go back to the 60s, you old fart.

Let's smoke something first.

Got any weed, guys?

They're 8 years old!

Looking to smoke?

Need a contact?

It's 10 miles away.

One mile to go.

I need an ATM.

What was the guy's name?

Abdullah?

I don't believe it!

Iggy Pop's Lust for Life,

my all-time favorite album!

I've seen him live 8 times.

He got me into music!

As a wedding-singer?

It's a money-earner.

I wanted to be in music.

I made a demo.

Right, sure!

Now you're in debt recovery.

It's a beginning.

Look who's here!

Know what they do?

This.

- F*** war!

- F*** you back!

This is good.

That's the Iggy dance!

Hear that hi-hat!

So hi it's stratospheric!

Turn it down!

Hello.

Hi, I'll have a combo n 3

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