Les Tuche & la caméra

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Welcome to Bouzolles in the Department of Limarais,...

one of those villages known only to its inhabitants.

Even maps of France ignore it.

This is Papi Jacquou, my great-great-grandfather.

Only commoners don't work, he had convinced the village...

to maintain him, instead of working.

Without realizing it, he had invented unemployment.

Hey, Tuche!

Today, nothing has changed.

Who gets up early in the morning. And prevents people from sleeping?

The bosses.

They exploit the planet and so what if they fart?

That's my dad, Jeff Tuche. Like Papi Jacquou,...

he tried to persuade the village to maintain him,...

but to his surprise,...

the people refused.

Oh, oh, the bosses!

Then my father's soul met its death,...

when went to work at Billasse as ball bearing inspector.

18 years as ball bearing inspector.

And one morning...

I've been fired!

Long live Europe, long live the Bulgarians!

Jeff, I just heard. We'll go to management.

Certainly not, wretch! I'm unemployed, Monnier!

I'm unemployed!

That was it, Papi Jacquou...

could finally rest in peace.

The honor of the Tuches was safe.

Unemployed, my father was able to pursue his passion, football.

Come on, go ahead.

These are the youngest of the Bouzolles football club.

My father trains them. They lost a fifth game in a row.

You've fought well.

You should be able to sleep well.

Everyone goes home.

Tuche!

Your trash, pig!

~ I'm calling the police.

~ Go on home,...

you're scaring the birds.

We've had enough of your sh*t.

~ Layabout!

~ Jealous!

Rather redo the front of your wife!

Repeat that!

I don't have the time.

Good night, Monnier.

That's my mom,...

Cathy Tuche.

She loves us with all her heart.

My mother always managed things so that we had enough to eat.

Scalloped or fried, or both on weekends.

For Mom, the thing is Monaco.

Especially Stphanie. She loves her.

Like a sister. So when she's sad,...

she broods about Stphanie.

Stphanie...

Stphanie?

Stphanie?

~ Cathy! Come eat!

~ OK, OK, I'm coming!

~ The music, turn it down!

~ All right!

I can your tell more about the village.

My sister Stphanie.

My mother wanted to name her Grace Kelly, but the mayor refused.

She was elected Miss Bouzolles and wants to be a star.

Here's Wilfried, my brother. He was almost named Albert.

He spent half his life in this chair...

the other half on the sofa.

He's unemployed, just like Dad.

You're educating yourself?

~ Yeah.

~ Beautiful body.

Okay, my Quack-Quack?

Quack-Quack, that's me.

My parents called me Donald,...

because the midwife said she saw me:...

What are you going to name this duckling?

At that, my Dad said "Right, then: Donald!"

My grandmother, Granny Suze.

She drinks Suze from morning to night.

Vazniek.

She lost her mind when her dog Teuber died.

It gave her a shock. Since then, she says "vazniek ",...

and she had Teubi stuffed.

When you come to Bouzolles, ask about the Tuches. You'll be told:...

When Jeff Tuche got fired, he changed.

Unemployed, he got a big head.

They have poached trout and sold them off at my place!

It affected the whole family.

He came at night to decorate the Christmas tree with his socks!

A multinational! Gain: 60 Euros!

He offered 20 euros one day to bless his soul,...

and his children aren't baptized!

A bastard.

FRIED!

We, the Tuches, we're not rich but we are happy.

Oh, I don't have four arms! Give me a break!

Fries, I'll get right into it.

Maggot, you're not fat.

Play sports.

I - DO - NOT - LIKE - FOOTBALL!

Books, yes.

Did you see the newsletter?

It's OK, some bad notices.

I say this to you.

You will have hair and you don't like football.

You're gay,...

~ Quack-Quack?

~ Enough with the name Quack-Quack.

It's Donald. Your plate, my duck.

Battle stations!

It must be Monnier.

Eat sh*t, Monnier. Sh*t!

The tadpole!

We had always avoided seizures.

But we needed more imagination.

Help me.

Your mother already died last month.

Not true.

After you left, she moved, stood up.

A miracle.

But look here, it won't happen again.

Let us pray.

It could have gone a long time,...

among the benefits, the system D.

Our Father...

Who art in Heaven...

After the tadpole's visit,...

our whole life would change.

He'll be back, that tadpole. You can't die every month.

Enough. I'm going to Miami.

"The last issue:
#16.

"Here is the complete draw for this Tuesday:...

"4,...

"8,...

"14,...

"36,...

"20,...

"9,...

"and 16."

Well, Mom!

For years, every Friday my mother played...

her birthday and that of Princess Stphanie.

That night, they were all displayed! It won us 100 million euros.

Without luggage, we climbed into the Nevada and left Bouzolles

The others have nothing.

It's over, Tadpole, the end of my problems...,

we've gotten rich.

It's a sofa bed when you're full.

CHIPS, CHIPS, CHIPS!

We drove...

for a long time, a very long time, throughout the night...

without knowing where we were going.

~ I think we're here.

~ Monaco...

~ L'htel Royal, my little chickadee!

~ Whatever you want, my darling.

In Monaco, everything was different...

buildings, weather, cars, people.

It was another planet.

Except that here, we were the aliens.

~ Don't forget Teubi.

~ Come here, Granny.

Hello, sir. Would you care to leave me the keys to the vehicle?

I took his number.

I won't leave the Nevada like that.

OH!

Oh, the cow!

But...

Quiet.

Did you see how big it is? It must cost a fortune in fuel.

Take off your hat.

Thank you. It's a pleasure.

They're all yours, sir.

As we...

have...

we ought to get some sleep.

I'm sorry, sir, but the hotel is full.

Make a reservation first next time.

I know an guest house in Menton.

It's filled with rooms.

We're not in the high season.

See you then.

Wait here for me.

With 100 million in our pocket...

you can have fun with your banker.

Listen, do not insist.

We are overwhelmed.

In Menton, Le Crdit Agricole...

would be happy...

And they will accept my check?

Oh, f***ing whore.

Oh, f***ing hell.

Monsieur...

Tuche.

I should have greeted you on your arrival. I'm sorry.

Welcome to the Bank of Zurich.

Pray be seated. Have a cigar.

Anything you want. It's yours.

I'll take that.

Since I don't smoke...

Of course, Monsieur Tuche.

~ Can I keep it?

~ It's yours.

So where we will place it,...

~ the money?

~ In a chest.

Yes, of course.

Given that this is the first payment,...

the costs of the operation are imposed.

So, happy?

Oh, yeah!

There are some documents to sign.

My whole family's waiting for me.

At L'htel Royal? Very well.

I do not know. The boss, or the janitor, will not...

give us...

a room.

They should stop...

giving you a rough time.

I'll fix it.

This is Mr. Speck.

~ The director.

~ Speck.

Spick.

Spuck.

Spock.

Yes. Mr. Speck. I'm with a Mr. Tuche, who wants a room.

Yes, all guaranteed. You'll arrange that for me?

A room...a suite?

Whatever...there are seven of us, including Teubi.

There are seven of them, including Teubi.

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