Liar Liar Page #7

and children are not leverage !

Oh, no, don't do this !

l have a date to play ball with my son !

l can't be late !

lt's my last chance !

l'm Jose Canseco !

l'm Jose Canseco !

Phone call !

Phone call !

l get a phone call !

l get a phone call !

- l get a phone call !

- [ Phone Ringing ]

- [ Phone Rings ]

- Hello ?

Audrey, it's me.

Don't hang up !

l can't talk right now.

Our flight leaves at 8:00.

- What ?

- l'm taking Max someplace

where you can't do this anymore.

Audrey, wait ! The most amazing thing

has happened to me.

l'm a changed man !

Just come to the courthouse

with $1,000 and bail me out.

- [ Sighs ]

- Hello ? Hello ?

- Time's up, pal.

- No, just one more call.

Just one more call.

[ Groaning ]

[ Audrey ]

Okay, let's go.

- Ready ?

- Yeah.

- Will you get the door, please ?

- Okay.

Thank you.

Mr. Reede, you made bail.

Greta ! Oh, thank God !

Am l too late ?

Have you been sexually molested yet ?

Because l could circle the block.

How did you know l was here ?

One of the other secretaries

called me at home,

said you went all noble

in front of Mr. Allan.

Yeah, l think l'm fired.

lsn't that great ?

l'll start my own firm.

Do you need a job ?

l don't think

you can afford me.

[ Both Laughing ]

Oh, man, l gotta get my car.

Audrey's on her way to the airport.

l could lose Max forever.

l can't let that happen. l love him !

You know, this truth stuff

is pretty cool.

l love my son !

l love my son !

l love my son !

l love my son !

Hey, need some change ?

Take everything !

But it's not gonna make you happy.

- [ Muttering ]

- l love my son !

l love my son !

l love my son !

Hey, there you are !

- Hi.

- Just in time.

Oh, this is the happiest moment

of my entire life.

O-Oh ! Well, m-me, m-mine--

Well, ours... also.

Hey, gipper. l have something

for you, young man.

Ooh, watch yourself.

lt's the claw !

[ Laughs ]

Ooh, the claw's comin' at ya.

Ooh, you're scared of the claw.

You're scared of the claw.

- Jerry. Jerry.

- Huh ?

lt's okay.

You don't have to--

[ Woman On Loudspeaker ]

Tower Air flight 1511

to Boston is now boarding.

- Ooh, that's us.

- Yeah.

- Ready to go ?

- Yes. You ready ?

- Okay.

- Great.

[ Woman On Loudspeaker ]

Jim Rubing, please report

to Airport Security.

[ Tires Screeching ]

Excuse me !

What gate is flight 1511 leaving from ?

lt's an emergency !

Gate number 123,

but you'll never make it.

Flight's already boarding.

lt takes more than a half hour

to get through security.

lf you want to go to Boston,

there's another flight leaving

tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m.

Flight number one-twenty--

[ Stewardess On Speaker ]

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome aboard flight 1511...

from Los Angeles

to Boston's Logan Airport.

We'll be departing shortly, and if you

need help stowing your carry-on items--

- Honey, can l help you ?

- l'm fine.

- Are you sure ?

- Jerry, l can open the bag !

Would you like anything

to drink before takeoff ?

Yes. Anything

with alcohol, please.

Audrey.

[ Stewardess ]

lf you'll focus on the screen,

we'll be running a safety video.

How about that drink ?

[ Grunting ]

Max ! Max !

Max !

Wait !

[ Grunts ]

That oughta do it.

Hey !

Thanks ! lt's running great !

[ Tires Screeching ]

Max !

Hey ! Max !

Hey !

Max ! l'm coming !

Max !

Max ! Max, where are you ?

l love you.

[ Gasps ]

Thank you.

[ Clears Throat ]

That wasn't exactly

the answer l was looking for.

[ Sighs ]

Thank you very much ?

- l'm sorry. lt's just--

- Too fast ?

- lt was too fast, wasn't it ?

- No, i-it's--

Chemistry ?

Whatever it is, we can work on it.

- No, no, no. lt's just that--

- Oh, my God, it's Fletcher !

- No, no, this has nothing

to do with Fletcher.

- No, honey, it's Fletcher.

- What ? [ Gasps ]

- Dad ?

l made it !

l'm late, but l made it !

What is he doing ?

He came to see us off. Wave.

l won't let you go !

Oh, sh*t !

Da-da-da-da

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da

Control one-nine,

this is Tower 1511, heavy.

Ready for takeoff.

Hey !

- What was that ?

- Looked like a shoe.

Pull over !

Pull this thing over !

Control one-nine, some idiot

has hijacked a flight of stairs.

We're gonna stop this plane.

[ Man On Radio ]

One-nine Control. We copy.

Yeah !

No-o-o-o-o !

[ Screams ]

[ Jet Taking Off ]

[ Sirens Wailing ]

[ Laughing ]

You people are all doing

a wonderful job !

That's far enough, folks.

He's my husband--

was my husband.

- All right, go ahead.

- Okay.

Max, you stay here with Jerry,

and l'll be right back, okay ?

- [ Sirens Wailing ]

- [ Chattering ]

- Audrey ! Great news !

- Fletcher !

Both my legs are broken,

so they can't take me right to jail.

Fletcher, what were you doing ?

Are you out of your mind ?

No, l'm thinking clear.

l've never been this clear !

- Dad ?

- Creep.

- He was getting kind of upset.

- Are you all right ?

Yeah. l'm hurtin' here, though.

l'm a dope, Max.

All this time

you've been here...

and l could see you anytime,

but l didn't.

Then your mom told me

you were moving to Boston,

and l started thinking.

l could be sitting around

sometime and...

want to look at you

and hold you and play with you,

and l won't be able to.

l don't think l'm gonna

do too well with that.

l love you more than anything else

in the world, Max,

and you know it's true.

l couldn't say it if it

wasn't true. Not today.

l love you, and l'll

never hurt you again.

He's telling the truth, Mom.

He's not allowed to lie.

l made a wish, and anything Dad

says today has to be the truth.

Max.

lt's 8:
45.

You made the wish at 8:15.

l've been able to lie

for the last half hour.

- So you weren't--

- No, it was the truth !

l just wanted

to be honest with you.

l always want

to be honest with you.

Mom, do we have to go to Boston ?

No, Max, you don't have to go.

- Yeah !

- [ Laughing ]

l, on the other hand,

do have to.

A hospital to run.

That's an open-ended ticket

if you ever change your mind.

Thank you.

[ Fletcher Laughing ]

Looks like he's

got his father back.

[ Laughing Continues ]

Happy birthday, dear Maximus

Happy birthday to you

Okay, Max, make a wish.

Ahhh, wait ! l don't know

if we should do this.

Oh, Fletcher, come on. What are

the odds of that happening again ?

Yeah, l guess you're right.

Okay, Max, go ahead.

Mom ? Dad ?

Max !

Did you wish for your mom and l

to get back together again ?

No, l wished for Rollerblades.

Do you want to cut the cake...

Dad ?

l'd love to.

But l have

this horrible pain in my arm.

Oh, no, it's the claw !

No one can stop the claw !

- [ Screaming ]

- No one can stop it !

[ Screaming, Laughing ]

Nothing can stop the claw !

[ Growling ]

[ Elevator Bell Dings ]

[ Laughing ]

lf l was a boxer, l would bounce

those things like Sugar Ray Leonard.

- l'm sorry.

- [ Laughing ]

Brought your kids

to your divorce ?

- Sympathy.

- Well, it's working !

l feel sorry for them already.

For this you will pay

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