Liberated: The New Sexual Revolution Page #8

for attention from guys

and be more noticed

and more valued

than your other girlfriends

that are also beautiful

and have sex appeal.

So, you will do crazy things

to gain that attention,

to gain that favor, to be sexy enough

because you've equated your value

and your self-identity with that.

[MC] We're throwing

a party today like no other.

We got a bikini contest going up.

All these hot ladies are going

to be shaking it for you guys.

The other day, I went on there,

like I danced on stage and stuff.

And like, it was just really fun.

It just... it makes you feel, like, free.

It's like an attention experience.

It's like for a moment you're,

like, on the spotlight.

[woman] I'm up here.

Everyone's looking at me right now.

Like, I feel good. They're happy.

Like, it's just a good feeling

of empowerment.

[MC] All right, twerk it for the crowd.

Guys, I want to hear you out there.

Let's keep this energy going, come on.

I saw all these girls dancing up there.

I was like, "I need to get up there."

[woman] When I got on stage,

alls I heard was cheers from 500 students.

I felt like I was famous,

I'm not going to lie.

By the time I was dancing in there,

so many boys,

so many boys are out for me.

And I felt like I'm the life

of the party right now.

[women chuckle]

Your confidence went down from here,

which in proportion

was already high enough,

where it went to up here.

[man] Ladies and gentlemen,

the winner of the Club La Vela

day stage twerking contest,

make some noise for Crystal from SIU.

[cheering]

[Caroline] I think that women

believe that being a sex object

is empowering because it makes them feel

as though they are wanted and desired.

But the idea that our bodies

are our value means

that we are forever dependent

upon men to validate us,

we're dependent upon an outside source

to say that we are important,

to say that we are valuable.

So, I think women engage in hookup culture

because it fits right into this.

What's the ultimate way to get validation?

It's to be wanted sexually.

If someone values you

and wants to have sex with you,

then for that brief moment in time,

we feel validated,

uh, we feel like we matter,

we feel like we have worth.

[Gail] We all hunger for visibility.

This is the human condition.

We want to be valued,

we want to be visible.

Yet, in this culture,

we say to young women,

in order to be visible,

in order to be noticed,

in order to be desired,

you have to A, look a certain way,

and B, behave a certain way.

And if you don't,

then you are basically rendered invisible.

[Sut] Everyone wants to matter.

The will to matter is a kind of,

you know, primal urge,

that we need to matter to other people,

we need--we need to be in society.

And if the culture says to girls

this is the only way

in which you can matter,

it's not surprising, then,

they take on those roles,

because if they don't,

then actually you don't matter.

If you don't, you become invisible.

If you don't, you actually

can't have that human connection

that everyone needs.

And so, you know, that pressure

just drives women to take on these roles,

even though that may not be

what they really want to do.

[EDM music playing]

[singing indistinctly]

[Kimmy] It all started, I think,

the whole sexualization

thing started when I was in, like,

eighth grade I believe?

And that's when guys started asking me

for nude pictures like from school.

And I was--I was so confused as to why

they would ask me for that.

And a lot of the time when I wouldn't,

they would just lose interest.

And, you know,

when you're at such a vulnerable age,

you're like, "Oh, my goodness,

like, no one's going to like me,

and it's just going to be awkward,

and I'm going to be known as

that girl who didn't do it."

So, there were definitely

a couple instances

in which I did send them.

And like, I did get

the attention that I wanted

until it came to the point

where it wasn't just pictures anymore.

It was like, "OK, well,

you're sending me pictures.

Don't be a tease."

And I'm just like, "OK?"

Um, so, I mean, I had sex on my own terms

and I did all the things on my own terms,

but at the same time,

it was so uncomfortable for me

because it's just

all these added pressures.

[Farrah] Yeah, that's so true

and real in my life as well.

And I think growing up,

on top of being pressured to do things,

it's so about pleasing others.

And it's what--what they think about me,

especially when you're that young

and you're being told what's normal.

And like I said, I was a little girl

looking at magazines and some movies,

and you look at women,

and that's what you start to be,

you start to look like that.

And I feel like every girl

just has insecurities

because none of us look like that.

So, either way, you're going

to find something wrong with you,

and it sucks that we have

to deal with that day to day.

[indistinct conversations]

[man] All right, so, senorita,

your name and where you're from.

My name is Farrah,

and I'm from California.

[man] She's Farrah, also from California.

And here we go, come on.

[music plays]

Oh yeah.

Oh.

Come on, girl, shake that ass.

Let's go.

Bring it, twerk it, come on!

Now, I have a question.

Do you want to see her take her top off?

[Farrah] No, no, no.

[man] So, everybody say, "Show your tits."

Come on, say it.

[all] Show your tits.

[man] Everybody say it.

[all] Show your tits.

[man] All right, that's it.

Here we go. Come on.

One, two, three.

OK, we'll do it at the same time, come on.

All right, DJ.

[crowd] Boo!

[man] Hey, guys, come on,

come on, be nice.

All right, so let's go on

with contestant number four.

[Farrah] For me, they were cheering

to take off my top.

And in no shape or form

would I ever think to do that.

But in that situation, it was--

It was very tempting.

Or I don't know how to explain it,

you know?

Everyone's all-- The whole...

The whole crowd is screaming for it,

and if--if you're on the border of it,

you're for sure going to do it.

Like, I just knew I wasn't going to,

and I was even tempted to.

So, I think when they have an entire...

an entire arena basically

screaming for you

to do one thing,

it is very hard to say no.

And I did, and I got booed for it,

but whatever.

I mean, I'm sure if they

went on for five minutes,

I'd probably end up doing it,

because you just want to satisfy them

and just get them to shut up.

[all] Take it off! Take it off!

Take it off! Take it off!

Take it off!

[man] Come on, they're asking for it.

You wanted to win, right?

They already made a lot of noise for you,

so let's do it one more time, come on.

One, two, three, go.

Come on, go, go, go, go.

[cheering]

All right, everybody give it up

for contestant number five.

[Sut] On the one hand, you know,

you have women who are being told

that sexuality is everything,

and it's about female bodies

satisfying male bodies.

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