Liberated: The New Sexual Revolution Page #9

And on the other hand,

you have boys being told

that masculinity is about being tough,

it's about being in control,

it's about sleeping with lots of girls.

When that is all within the context

of hookup culture,

where sex is separated

from relationships and feelings,

then with alcohol thrown in, you know,

the results are going to be disastrous.

[crowd cheering]

[man] Hey, girl. Come here.

[girl screaming indistinctly]

Here's what's going to happen.

I'm going to give you two beads.

To motorboat your titties. Two beads, OK?

You ready? You ready?

[woman] I don't want to do it.

I'm not gonna do it.

Why not?

-Listen...

-I'll be gentle.

[man] Lift those tits

and let him motorboat you.

I'll be gentle. I'll be gentle.

-[man groaning]

-Where's she going?

-Listen...

-[woman] I'm sorry.

Come on, guys.

[Caroline] Inherent

in hookup culture is the idea

that men are supposed to be the drivers,

in the driver's seat,

and they are entitled to women's bodies

and women don't have as much say

as men in determining

whether or not sex happens.

And for a lot of men, you know,

they get the idea

that all they have to do

is push, push, push.

And some of them, you know,

are very planful about it.

[indistinct chatter]

[Robert] If you think about

the real messages

we send to boys about

what it means to be a man,

often they're bound up in that sense

of power and aggression.

And given the centrality

of sexuality to our lives,

not surprisingly those messages

play out in sex.

[laughs]

You got to show your f***ing tits!

-I want the f***ing--

-[cheering]

[Robert] So, if men are socialized

to be sexually aggressive,

then it's not a very big leap

from a consensual sexual activity

to sexual coercion of varying degrees,

where men are often encouraged

to pressure women

into being sexually available,

even when that girl might not want to.

They have a look to their face.

They have that look,

a certain look to them

that you just know they want

to be motorboated.

Some of them...

some of them don't look like they want to,

but usually the more intoxicated they are,

the more likely they are to

let you motorboat them.

It's an art.

You have to look and you scope them out.

It's almost like motherfucking fishing.

[all] Chug, chug, chug, chug,

chug, chug, chug, chug, chug,

chug, chug, chug.

[cheering]

Tits out for the boys!

Tits out for the boys!

Tits out for the boys!

Tits out for the boys!

Tits out for the boys!

Tits out for the boys!

[cheering]

[speaking indistinctly]

Show your tits! Show your tits!

[woman] No! No!

[crowd] Show your tits! Show your tits!

Hell no.

Show your tits! Show your tits!

[woman] There was guys

walking past me like,

"Show your tits, show your tits."

And like girls are,

like, pressured into it.

Like, girls that wouldn't

usually do it are over there,

like, showing their b*obs and stuff.

[all] One more time! One more time!

One more time! One more time!

Girls like to show it off.

Like, they act innocent inside,

but they really do like to show it off.

All girls are freaks,

I think, to be honest.

They just-- It just takes--

You have to get it out of them,

you know what I mean?

Oh, lots-- All girls are sluts.

Girls are nothing but panty droppers.

You give them a couple percosets,

a Vicodin,

and a beer, and the panties drop.

It's nice.

[man] He's got it down to a science.

[all] Tits out for the boys!

Tits out for the boys!

[woman] No. [screams]

You're a slut. That's what you are.

You're a slut.

I said she's a slut. She is.

They're all sluts.

You know, some men

pushing through a woman's no,

right, like she says no

and he keeps going,

and she says, "No, I don't

really want to," he keeps going.

And you know, that man,

he just sees himself as a player.

That's how it works.

You know, that's what the scripts show me.

That's what you're supposed

to do with women.

And then women who, again,

who have been socialized

into performing for men,

who now have had a couple drinks,

guys are pressuring them, "Come on, do it.

Let's do it."

And then guys, when they do that,

then the men immediately think

that these women are now, uh, fair game.

And some men feel license to touch women

and grab women

and act on these women sexually.

Yeah!

You got beads. You got beads.

You gotta show it. You gotta show it.

No.

-No?

-No, no!

That's so inappropriate. No.

Inappropriate? Can I get a high five?

[Robert] We're talking about

a sexually coercive landscape

in which men are socialized

into taking sex from women.

Women are socialized

into capitulating to that

as a part of a normal "social scene."

And the terrain on which

sex then goes forward

is extremely difficult

and extremely dangerous,

especially for young women.

This is a culture in which sexual

intrusion has become normalized.

[woman] This guy just

came up to me and like,

"Hey, what's your name?"

and started touching my butt.

And I grabbed him, and I was like,

"You know, like, no, that's not OK."

[woman] Out here,

there's a lot of grabbing, whistling,

just grabbing your face,

trying to make out with you.

Yeah, guys out here,

they think they can do anything.

[cheering]

I honestly walked by a guy

and he ripped my top down.

-I was like, "No."

-No way.

This one guy, I don't know who he was,

came up to me and starts, like,

trying to, like, touch me.

I'm like, "Eww! Like get off me."

And then he walks away and he's like,

"Yeah, fine, f*** you, you b*tch."

I'm like, "You're the one

that came up to me

and were, like, sexually harassing me."

[man] Do guys ask permission

when they grope you

-and stuff like that?

-No, they don't. They're disgusting.

She punched someone in the face.

I punched someone

in the face my first day here.

I hit a guy the other day.

I went and I elbowed him.

They just literally come up behind you

and grab your butt.

[indistinct chatter]

Some random guy literally sucked my tit

out of nowhere.

I just went-- I just went with it.

There was nothing much I could do.

Yeah, there was definitely nothing

she could do.

There was nothing

you could do to solve that.

[woman] They'll come up to you.

They'll grab you in every way,

shape, or form.

They think that they're entitled

to you and to your body.

[shouting]

[man] Motorboat those titties!

[woman] Put me down!

Help me, help me!

Help me, help me!

[man] Do you feel safe here?

No!

-No!

-No! [chuckles]

Not really.

That's so sad. Do you want us to say yes?

[sing-song voice] Hey, we want some p*ssy!

Hey, we want some p*ssy!

[man] F*** her!

[all] F***! F***!

[clamoring]

Vagina!

[man] Tell me about that. What happened?

So her coochie was wide open.

so sh*t--

just pull the f***ing coochie off.

-And everybody just went at it.

-[man] Everybody.

Everybody just went at it

and f***ing had a blast.

I know I did. Blasty blast.

Started grabbing her like that.

Grabbing everything.

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