Lies And Illusions

---

I feel in my heart

Our love has been

roaming apart

And when

I try talking to you

See what

you're going through

It's hard to know

where to start...

I know in my heart

I can make it all

up to you

This feeling of love

doesn't know

If it has a chance

to grow

Time will tell

versus what you do...

I feel in my heart

Love dreams,

so it seems...

Ladies and gentlemen,

it gives me great pleasure

to introduce my best friend...

best-selling author--

ladies and gentlemen,

a big round of applause

for Wes Wilson.

Thank you.

Making my way up to the stage.

Yes. Yeah. Thank you.

Thank you. Yes.

Hey. What's going down?

You're smooth.

Boy, yes! Thank you, thank you.

Thank you,

thank you very much.

Just wanna say it's a great

honor to be here this evening

and it truly does warm

my heart and soul

to see these gorgeous couples.

It just makes me think,

"Man, I am one heck of a writer!"

Yes!

- That you are!

- Now seriously, I remember...

way back when... when this was just

an idea floating around in my head.

And I talked to my agent here,

Martin Rivera,

who told me to forget all about it.

Way to go, Martin!

No, seriously, relationships--

the key is commitment, time

and, most importantly, honesty.

Yes. No, but seriously,

honesty-- honesty is the key.

And if that fails, role-playing.

All right. Perfect.

Thank you very much.

Hold it up there.

Right. Yeah.

We did it!

Oh, yeah.

Here we go, ladies.

Thank you very much.

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you very, very much.

Yes! Role-play, role-play!

Okay. Thanks.

Thank you very much.

Be whoever you want to be.

Enjoy yourself.

All right, let's have plenty of people

on the dance floor.

- Ladies.

- Pleased.

- That look is working for you.

- You're better looking in person.

Thank you, darling.

Hey, can I have a vodka

and tonic, please?

Coming right up.

- Hey.

- Hey.

I have kind of seen

you around.

I'm-- I'm Wes.

I'm a writer.

- No kidding.

- You probably saw the speech there.

I got...

a national best-seller.

I'm actually working

on a new book now.

Really? What is it about?

It's all about

how to talk to women,

but I'm only on page 10.

How am I doing?

No, seriously,

you are absolutely gorgeous,

and, just purely

for research purposes,

is there anything I could say that

would get you to come up to my room?

- No.

- Why not?

Because you're just a writer.

Okay.

A challenge.

You kicked your shoes off.

They're over there somewhere.

Hey, buddy.

Creepy.

- Nice dress.

- Thank you.

I'm on my way.

- Hey, do you wanna dance?

- Okay, this one's for the lovers.

Just follow me.

Samantha?

Samantha?

Yes.

Yes.

- Would you marry me?

- Would you marry me?

Yes.

Yes!

Happy day, darling!

They're getting married!

You love doing that,

don't you?

I plan on doing it

the rest of my life.

Feel the heat

Then you'll see

I never say goodbye...

Thank you very much!

Mrs. Wilson,

ladies and gentlemen.

Now then,

let's get out of here.

- Hey.

- Marty? Marty Marty Marty.

This is the girl I was telling

you about. This is Samantha.

Samantha, this is Marty;

Marty, Sam.

Nice to finally meet you.

He said you were beautiful

and he wasn't lying.

This is amazing. Hi.

- Thank you.

- So, engaged? Already.

- Yes.

- That's very quickly.

Congratulations.

- It was love at first sight.

- Yes, it was.

Well, when you know, you know?

Hey, that's actually

a good title for another book,

maybe a follow-up to this. All right,

you guys, this is uncomfortable.

Um, you know what? There are

a couple of people I want you to meet.

Marty, I love you.

We'll do it another time, okay?

- Hold your body close to me...

- See you soon, Marty!

Later.

Okay.

Let's get you home.

Chilly, yeah.

Here you go, sweetie.

- Thank you.

- My God!

What a night. What a night.

- I had a great time tonight.

- It was pretty perfect, wasn't it?

Oh my God. I gotta tell you,

you just look absolutely gorgeous.

You are the most beautiful...

Baby.

Wes!

Alicia,

where have you been?

Where are my diamonds, Alicia?

Maybe I didn't explain to you

our retirement policy...

there isn't one.

Leave him alone.

What's it like to lie

to the man you love?

Hey, what's going on here?

Go to hell!

Last chance, Alicia.

What's it gonna be?

Let him go.

I will get them for you.

F***! Son of a b*tch!

I'm gonna f*** you up.

Wes!

You idiot! Put her in the car.

Sam!

Where the hell

are you taking her?

Dude, what happened?

- Sir, hang in there, sir.

- 911. What's the emergency?

There has been a robbery.

Someone's been mugged.

- Are you with the victim now?

- God.

Yes.

Okay, I'm gonna

need your location.

732, copy.

Service road 54,

under the I-90 overpass.

I've got a possible 10-29 Victor.

Be safe, 732.

Um, I'm really sorry

that it's taken me

so long to get

this together for you,

but it's,

it's pretty standard, Mr. Wilson.

By Washington state law,

her assets will remain in trust

until either a year passes

and the court declares her dead,

or her body is recovered.

That's it right there.

Uh, Mr. Wilson,

do you understand?

You okay, buddy?

- Yeah, go ahead.

- Okay. Well...

you can continue to live

in the house that you both shared.

She also had a checking account

at First Savings Bank in Seattle,

and a safety deposit box

at Washington Trust in Spokane.

- You, of course, get--

- Spokane?

Uh, yeah. You--

you didn't know about that?

Until you called,

I didn't know she had a lawyer.

I guess we all have

little secrets, right?

D-d-do you have

any other questions?

How long have you been married?

I don't know, 11 years, I guess.

Do you love your wife?

Yeah, very much.

Well, cherish every moment.

Um, okay. Well, listen,

thanks so much for coming in

and please just feel free

to contact me.

- Thank you very much.

- Sure.

Here you go.

- I'm going on lunch, okay?

- Yeah.

I'll tell you anything

that you want.

Um, look, he-- he--

he gets the house,

he gets some cash

and a-- and a--

and a box.

- A safety deposit box.

- When does he get access?

Um, in a-- in a year,

when the court gives

its full authorization to the bank.

It's all-- it's all right here

and it's all legal.

Sir, listen to me,

I swear to God...

I won't say a word to anybody.

I promise.

I really don't give a sh*t.

Every person you tell,

I'm gonna send a piece of your wife,

a piece of your kids--

a ear, finger, an eye.

- It doesn't matter to me.

- Okay, you know what?

They-they don't--

I'm telling you right now.

I-I-- listen to me.

Listen to me, okay?

Look, I-I already told you I'm not

gonna say anything to anybody.

No, no.

Attention, shoppers.

Today at the mezzanine level,

we have a book-signing

with self-help author Wes Wilson.

His best-selling book,

"Finding Love in the 21st Century,"

is on sale today only

at 40% off

suggested retail price.

- Hey, there's my guy.

- Hey.

How is the sequel coming?

- Great. Just great.

- That good?

I'm just having

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